Travelling to school? How?

[Animalover]

Hello,

My daughter has an offer from a really good secondary school (top 10 in the UK), but unfortunately it is not local. We have a few travel options:

1. Driving:
I could drive her, but it would take about 45–70 minutes depending on traffic. We would need to leave home around 7:30–7:40 am.

2. School bus:
She would need to walk about 15 minutes to the school bus stop and catch it around 7:20 am.

3. Train:
She could take one overground train for about 25 minutes, then walk 10–12 minutes to the school. We live about 3 minutes from the train station, so she would leave home around 7:45 am.

Driving: It would be very hard for me to do this every day — it would mean almost 4 hours of driving per day for the school run.

School bus: It is quite an early start, and I am also worried about her walking to the bus stop in winter when it will still be dark. The road is quiet and there are no shops around, just houses.

Train: The start time is not too early, but she will only be 11 years old. Do you think this is okay? At the open day they said some children do this, but we have never experienced it so I’m not sure. If she uses the train, how long should I accompany her before letting her travel alone?

My daughter worked so hard for this school so trying to find the best option! Please share your ideas!

Thank you!

We had the same dilemma, ds was accepted at a top 10 school, commute was a similar length. We found during the introduction days before term started that there were a few boys travelling from the same area so they got together and travelled together for the first few years. They grow up so fast and I think that independence really helped my son. I could drop him in the middle of nowhere and he’d make it home now, in contrast my daughter goes to a school 10 mins walk away and she’s never taken public transport on her own and frankly I despair!
it paid off for my son because he’s on track for 3 As and he’s got a scholarship to a top post school education programme.

Just remember that whatever choice you make, it’s not set in stone. She doesn’t have to do that for the whole 5 years.
Once she makes friends she may decide she’d rather get the bus than the train or vice versa to travel with them. I think sometimes we get inside our heads about these things and think we’re making irreversible decisions.

As someone who drove 25 minutes each way to take my son to school, I wouldn’t recommend you do the drive. I wouldn’t have been able to cope without a lift share. There was no train and the bus option (which we used occasionally on the way home) was 2 hours.

We also occasionally used a taxi. With the 3 lift share kids all splitting the cost it wasn’t horrendous.

This isn’t an unusual commute for a London school at all. They’ll all end up meeting up in the middle.

Tons of people round here do similar to the train option you mentioned.

I would say let her go by train. You could go with her the first few times to get used to it.
london trains are safe enough, I use them a lot and often see school children on them.
don’t worry about her having to stand some days. She won’t get tired. I have to stand sometimes and I am a lot older than her and I don’t get tired😉

I won a scholarship to a school some distance away. Aged 11 I was dropped off at the station at 7.55 by my dad. About half hour on train then a local bus got me to school for 9 am. 3.30pm out of school and bus to train station, train home then walk through town to get a local bus home. Usually home by 5.15 if no delays. Then 2 hrs homework. Doable yes, not really enjoyable, except when traingirls got sent home early due to problems with trains

Train or bus is fine, timings are fine, lots of kids do this from the start of year 7 onwards, my daughter and her peers have done this since the start of year 7 (now in year 9). For you, the train option looks best.
I did the journey on the bus with my daughter for the first 2 days of year 7 (including talking about road crossings and personal safety) and then left her to it. She made a few "bus friends" quite quickly, they go to her school but aren't in her class, she has other friends in her class but it's nice to have someone to sit with. The independence has been good for her 🙂

I would personally take the school bus option as trains can be unreliable and this makes it stressful if it’s late/cancelled etc. if there is traffic and the school bus is late, then she’s late with a whole group of others and won’t get into trouble. She will also get to know people on her school bus from all year groups and no chance of any trouble. I took my school bus to grammar school for years and it was all good.

Train is a good option. Round our way there are lots of kids that do that. If this is a grammar with no catchment there will likely be other kids on the train doing a similar thing

Try and do the journey with her over Easter holidays and see how you both feel. Honestly, that's an awful lot. I wouldn't apply to a job that's more than an hour commute, it's too big a chunk out of day to day life. She will be tired and if it's a high performing school there will be lots of pressure places on her too.
In honesty, personally I would either look to move house so there's less of a commute, or look for a school that's closer to home. If they are bright and prepared to work hard they will do well wherever they go. You could spend the money that you would have been spending on travel on a tutor if you wanted, too.

The school seems like a happy school, but it is less selective and not even in the top 100 in the league tables.

With over 4,000 secondaries in the UK, not being the in top 100 doesn’t mean it’s a sink school.

However, the commute to the other one sounds reasonable to me. Some grammar kids do absolutely bonkers commutes

I'd let DD decide between train and bus. You driving is too much if you work and/or have other DC. School bus may feel safer for her as she will be with other children on the bus and will not be walking in an unfamiliar area alone when she gets off. She may prefer to have the later set off time with the train.

Could you move house and plan your second child's education around the move?

I vote train. Practice at other stations as well.

Personally I think the school bus is a pretty good option. A 15 minute walk isn't much. It's early but not ridiculously so if she gets uniform, bag, lunch etc sorted and ready to go the night before.

Otherwise the train is fine. She just needs to practice a bit first. I assume others will also be doing this journey so there will be other pupils from the same school heading the same way.

They grow up a lot in the first year of Secondary.

Its a no brainer. Train is the most reasonable option. I travelled to school from age 11 with the same travel time and it was no problem at all. Really worth it for a good school. If trains were on strike or anything, the bus was a back up and took about an hour

Train sounds perfect to me. I live close to some selective schools and there are tons of kids from London on the trains at certain times of day. They seem to have fun!

Personally I think driving is a no go, that’s a crazy long journey each day.
my go to would be the school bus, because you know that it is specific for school children and your not going to get any weirdos on there. Maybe drop her off at the bus stop when it is dark in winter and let her walk in the summer? Take your other child with you, in their pjs.

my children are both still very young so these scenarios are a long time off for me but I honestly don’t think I’d feel comfortable with the train journey. I don’t know if it’s because there is just some much evil happening in the world lately, but there are just so many sick people out there. 😭

Train!

School bus: It is quite an early start, and I am also worried about her walking to the bus stop in winter when it will still be dark. The road is quiet and there are no shops around, just houses.

many children near me get the school bus at around 7.15am, many sit in their parents car until the bus comes and then of they go

It's completely normal and safe to use trains to go to school in London from yr 7.Start using various forms of public transport now and let her work out how to get from place to place - it builds confidence.

And do the school journey a couple of times before term starts and then accompany on her for a couple of days.

Yr 7s are making journeys where they change lines, change from bus to tube or train etc etc.

Do you use public transport? Set her an example that it is a normal thing to do.

I think train or bus sound fine. My dd leaves for school at 7.10am (rural area, this is the school bus) and copes fine.

Definitely take the train. A car or bus in London traffic would be a nightmare. There will be lots of other pupils from the same school on the train and doing the same walk to school at the other end. Plus, if you miss a train there is another one along in a few minutes, unlike the school bus, where if you miss it you're stuffed.
Practise the train journey a few times in the school holidays so she is confident with the route

Train is the way to go and very common in London to see droves of Yr 7's on them and tubes.
DD1 took the train and tube every day to school from age 11. There was a non-selective school 5 minutes walk away but she had her heart set on the one she attended and managed well from 11.
We practiced with her in the holidays - once all together and then the second time we let her off alone and followed on the next train, all met up and had lunch and sent her back alone again with us on the next train.
The school was perfect for her. Well done to your DC.

I don't really understand the issue here. The train or bus journey is totally normal for London (I did it, DD and all her friends do it) and there will be lots of other kids travelling.

Start practicing now! I sure she'll surprise you and get used to it very soon.