Travelling to school? How?

[Animalover]

Hello,

My daughter has an offer from a really good secondary school (top 10 in the UK), but unfortunately it is not local. We have a few travel options:

1. Driving:
I could drive her, but it would take about 45–70 minutes depending on traffic. We would need to leave home around 7:30–7:40 am.

2. School bus:
She would need to walk about 15 minutes to the school bus stop and catch it around 7:20 am.

3. Train:
She could take one overground train for about 25 minutes, then walk 10–12 minutes to the school. We live about 3 minutes from the train station, so she would leave home around 7:45 am.

Driving: It would be very hard for me to do this every day — it would mean almost 4 hours of driving per day for the school run.

School bus: It is quite an early start, and I am also worried about her walking to the bus stop in winter when it will still be dark. The road is quiet and there are no shops around, just houses.

Train: The start time is not too early, but she will only be 11 years old. Do you think this is okay? At the open day they said some children do this, but we have never experienced it so I’m not sure. If she uses the train, how long should I accompany her before letting her travel alone?

My daughter worked so hard for this school so trying to find the best option! Please share your ideas!

Thank you!

@Animalover. Worried about a child getting child standing? Surely the children are fitter and more able to stand than the middle aged commuters with all kinds of health problems! Assume standing is the norm

In my day you worked all this out before you applied. Schools should take distance away and travel into consideration when offering places.

The train sounds absolutely fine. Dropping her at the bus stop is also an option.

You’ll have to find a way to make it work. Surely this came up before you applied? Sounds like you have a good range of options though.

We have a less selective school option near us, about a 15-minute drive away. But if she needs to go by bus, she would have to leave at around 7:50. I am sure if my daughter goes there she will be fine. Her 3 friends will go to there. The school seems like a happy school, but it is less selective and not even in the top 100 in the league tables. It also has a smaller campus with fewer opportunities. The sports facilities are not as good and there are fewer clubs. There isn’t even a swimming pool. Of course, a swimming pool in a secondary school is not absolutely necessary, but when you are paying for it, I think it is reasonable to expect that, right?

Train or bus sounds fine. Neither too early or too complicated and either should be doable for a typical high schooler. Personally I’d go with train just for the later start, unless the bus is more affordable. You should start practicing now and she’ll be fine by then. And it won’t matter if she has to stand for a little while unless there’s something you haven’t mentioned.

You do sound very worried so I think the more you get used to it now the better. Start using the train more, show her how it works and how to read the transport maps. Make sure she has a debit card etc.

The train will really be fine. She won’t be the only one from her school on it. I’m certain the walk between the stop she gets off at and school will have a stream of her schoolmates all heading in the same direction. They grow up a massive amount when they go to secondary.

Rural Ireland here but that is so normal for us here. Drop to bus stop and wait and pick up in evening.

The trains to North Dulwich, Herne Hill, Wimbledon and Putney at that time are chokka with girls in Indie uniforms.

We paid for the coach in Year 7, then DD swapped to train in Year 8.

Don’t start second guessing your school choice. If you think your first choice school is much better then stick with it and make it work. Can I ask which school it is?
Plan for the train journey. In an ideal world, have someone else be with your other child in the mornings for the first week so you can go with your year 7 child on the train and keep them company/check it out.

Train is fine unless... what hobbies/extracurricular is she planning? Cello + sports kit + art portfolio + etc make travel by train tricky somedays depending on timetable.

One of mine always looked like a bag lady needing a shopping trolley, the other did chess and clarinet... much easier travelling.

First, well done to your DD for the achievement. Please do not revisit your choice on account of what is a rather standard journey.

The train journey is pretty straightforward and many Y7 kids doing longer / more complex ones. Do the journey with her in the run up to starting school to get a feeling of it and then I would suggest also for the first week or so in normal conditions. That would allow her to feel more comfortable and familiar with it and you will also get first hand experience that it is perfectly doable and common. Plus there will be kids doing a similar journey either for that school or close-by ones (eg. If LEH, the Hampton boys) and the school might also provide details of family locations). Obviously useful if she has a phone and, if a smart phone, location share is your friend.

We are in SW London and DD is at WHS. From Y7, virtually no girl is driven to school and they all rely on public transport, unless when they have to carry lots of stuff but not on an everyday basis. (In fact, that is a further advantage of the train - you can opt out on occasional days if not used in a way you don't need to do with the school bus... which is likely also to be more expensive). The girls quickly form groups to travel together and also know other kids (in our case the KIng's boys) sharing the journey.

Being able to travel independently in London is a "rite of passage" and she will enjoy it not only for school but also socially.

My daughter was in a very similar position, with the same journey options as you. I drove her to the school bus stop very morning and waited until I knew she was on the bus - there were at least half a dozen times while she was using the bus when it just didn’t turn up, so I was able to drive her and a couple of other girls to school. Me and another Im took turns in picking them up from the bus stop in the afternoon. About half way through Year 8 my daughter started using the train instead. We were a bit further from the station than you are so I drove hwr every morning. She had a 20 minute walk at the other end but the vast majority of the school walked along one of two roads which started by the station so there was never an issue of security. Most of the time, I collected jer from the station in the evening. In the seven years she was at the school, there were probably about 20 occasions in total when I had to do the two hour round trip.

although we were at the very outer edge of the school’s catchment area, there were still other girls who got on the bus at the start of the journey and who caught the train from the same station, and my daughter quite enjoyed the travelling even though it was a very early start. She ended up with separate sets of bus and train friends as well as her class friends. I really wouldn’t let the journey worry you and I don’t think there’s a need for you to drive your daughter to and from school, except in emergencies.

the only irritating downside to the school bus was that it was organised by the PTA rather than the school, and on days when it was late (which happened fairly regularly) the girls were marked as late through no fault of their own.

Train definitely. Standing for a bit won't make her tired

Train sounds like the best option. Just practice it with her before school starts so she is confident.
Those times do not seem early to me at all, my 8 year old starts school at 8 so he leaves at 7:30 every day, including in the dark. She will get used to it quickly enough.

I’m also worried that if it’s crowded and they can’t find a seat, they might get tired

Unless your 11yo has significant health challenges, there is nothing wrong with them standing for 25mins travel. The train would be fine, no need to consider the other options.

Train. There will be others along the way and assuming she has a similar return journey can be flexible about the time.

Train stations are full of children going to school in the mornings. And as you “can” drive you have a back up.

My daughter was older than yours when she went to a college about an hour away from us. There was a college coach that picked up students about a fifteen minute walk from us.
We dropped her at the pick up point at 7.30am and then picked her up again at about 6pm ish. Could you do something like that? It made her get up in the mornings and get ready!

OP you sound a little bit over anxious. I'm assuming the school is in a pleasant and fairly safe area. As many comments have said, it's perfectly normal for 11YOs to a) set off for school early and b) travel by themselves.

A couple of practice runs and she'll be fine.

I commuted by train from Hertfordshire to Cambridge for a while and I used to see the same kids aged 11 and up travelling anywhere from 30-60 minutes on the train.

Personally for the first year or so I would drive my DD then likely in year 7 she would meet friends who she could get the train with. Every child’s different, you know your DD best. Personally, my DD is afraid of walking on her own so I don’t mind collecting her whe I can or she walks with friends

Train is fine - with driving as a back up.

DD has got the train on her own since the second week of Y7 - there are loads of other kids on it (both indie and state). I just made sure she knew how to use Citymapper and what to do if the trains were delayed/ down.

One of us will drive if she has a very early start or very late finish, but that is rarely an issue because the traffic is light enough then and it's only occasionally.

My child goes to a local school, but needs to leave at 7:15am if they want to ensure they can get on the bus. The busses are usually packed with school children, so if no space on the bus the bus does not stop. Most of them end up squashed and standing on the bus getting to school. Your child's school journey start times seem very reasonable for secondary school.

The train sounds fine. She will hopefully meet others that are walking from the station. The train itself will be fine at that time, as it will be full of commuters and unlikely to be trouble. As to whether she gets a seat, that will really depend on your route.

This all sounds normal to me.
I live in a village.
For secondary children get busses around 7.20, a few others are driven to the town 10 mins away to get a different bus to the city.
There are often parents dropping off or collecting from bus stops, especially in the darker months for the younger children.