Child currently without a school place

[Pamela7814]

Hi there

My child is currently not in education - she has been at home waiting for a year 9 school place since October.

Bit of background - my daughter is bright but got overwhelmed at the 11+ exam and didn't pass the English score. She was offered a comprehensive school that wasn't in our area (due to local school being heavily oversubscribed) so she took tests at an independent school which she scored highly in and received a Heads Award (discounted fees) to attend there. We decided that's where she would go - it wasn't as though we had a pot of cash, it was always going to be hard, but with the increase in VAT fees it proved to be impossible and we eventually had to withdraw her.

She was naturally very upset at leaving her school - she thrives in a school setting and has always loved school.

Once she was without a school place, she was offered a school by the local borough. The school she was offered is a bus ride away (so nothing out of the ordinary there) but requires improvement in all areas and having read the Offsted in full and spoken at length with my aunt who worked there, and parents of children who attended, we rejected the offer. I also spoke to a contact dealing with children lost in education and she agreed that this school would likely be to her detriment. My daughter was adamant she did not want to attend this school (I believe her and her friends have had trouble on buses with some children from here).

She is currently first on the waiting list at the local school (she has 2 siblings there) but an appeal held last week was rejected. I haven't received the reasons yet but I'm thinking it's because they believe I have put all my eggs in one basket and not applied to other schools.

Another bit of background - my daughter has been referred by the doctor regarding her anxiety. It's been a anxious time for her not knowing if or when she will get a school place and she is constantly worried about this - since she's been off of school she has been bed wetting, getting stomach aches and biting her nails (also mentioned in front of the doctor that she cries before going to sleep often). I feel like I have to tread carefully as she is only wanting to attend this one school, stressing that she wants to be with her siblings and friends currently at the school (by friends, I mean children she knew from primary school and shares the odd text message with). She also wants to be local and gets very upset when I mention listing her at other schools.

As it happens, I called other schools after the appeal hearing (just for information) and all are full with waiting lists in the area, except the one offered.

I'm sorry this is so long, I would just appreciate any advice at all on what I can be doing in the meantime while we just sit here waiting and hoping (and her getting more anxious). I haven't got the money for online school at the moment. I have books, ixl and am using oak online classes but her focus is waning and I'm so worried that she isn't socialising.

Some people have said that it's really year 10 and 11 that matter (GCSE's) but I don't even know if she'll have a place by then, and how much damage will have been done by that point. I have a full time job that have allowed me to work at home so that I can be with her, but I need to keep this job and this isn't an arrangement I can sustain.

I still feel that a place at the school offered would cause far more upset than it would cure.

Any advice would be gratefully received - even if it's to tell me there are far bigger things to stress about. If anyone has been, or is in, a similar position I'd love to hear from you.

Thank you if you read this far....

I rejected the school based on the Ofsted report - the school requires improvement in all areas. She didn't want to go to the school based on social issues with children at this school picking on her on the bus home (although that could happen in any school and we've discussed this with her).

My DD rarely gets her own way. Strange that you would have read the above and come to this conclusion. My daughter is suffering from anxiety at the moment and we had to tread carefully. We have four children and we haven't raised snowflakes but when my child is wetting the bed, complaining of stomach aches and crying to sleep most nights, it isn't a case of getting her own way.

Like the PP's friend who I am willing to bet was offered a place coincidentally after threatening because somebody else left, it's Spring/Summer now. People move house and new jobs are offered because there's budget for the new financial year. So the odds are high that somebody will leave the school between Easter and July, never mind September. And she's already in 1st place on the waiting list (only EHCPs, Looked After Children in need of a place and directions to admit via FAP take legal precedence).

I needed to hear this today. This is what I'm hoping for. Sometimes we just need to hear something positive or helpful. Thank you.

The LA fulfilled its duty by offering a school place which you rejected. Have you submitted an application to the school which her younger sibling attends? Regarding the school you rejected, what were the 2025 A8 and English & maths scores?

Yeh that's not a thing.

No one ever promised that people who left private schools bc they could not afford the increased fees would be offered a place at any state school they wanted. Your friend got a place bc someone left, not bc they cited VAT. That wouldn't be reasonable at all would it – so a child who has left private school jumps over a more local child who also wants a place at this school? Don't think so. As a PP notes, correlation does not equal causation tho people often think it does.

@Pamela7814 am I right in thinking you have never visited the offered school but just rejected it based on Ofsted saying RI? I would urge you to go and view the school. You might be pleasantly surprised.

@LadyLapsang I infer the OP’s youngest child attends the school where her DC was refused a place on appeal.

Hi, are you currently home educating or sitting under the cme team? Unfortunately if you rejected a school the LA have done their bit and do not have to find her another
School and any online tution they were providing would also usually stop. If not home educating have you contacted your LA's home education for advice? It is possible to home educated during GCSE years but you will need to source an exam center and pay the exam fee, usually £200-£300 per subject , also just to mention if a school is full for a year group there is unlikely to be a place for y10 unless someone leaves the year group.

You need to visit the school offered, take your daughter along and start planning.

My DC attended a primary school rated as outstanding, it went down to requiring improvements in all areas by Ofsted, which the school were reluctant to accept.

They then attended the local secondary which was rated poorly but they are now good and it was much better than the other schools from looking around. DC left with high GCSE grades in all areas.

If she really doesnt like the school, start planning effective home schooling and looking at groups locally

The best, most supportive, most welcoming school I worked in was RI.

In terms of getting her in the school with her siblings, yes you child would be high on the waiting list for this school because her siblings go there, possibly the top if there is no-one else on it with siblings or in care or with SEND needs.

However being at a school a bus ride away is fairly normal for secondary aged children, so there is no reason you couldn't allow her to go to the school the LA have initially offered. Given this situation, she would not be seen to need a place which means that the school her sister's are at has to expand their intake to include her, so you are at the point of waiting until there is a place for her.

For the other schools, this would probably be the same. You could add her to their waiting lists, and she would be placed on according to the normal admission criteria. A place might come up of it might not. Your choice is basically

1. Send her to the school the LA have given the place at and forget her going with her sisters.
2. Send her to the school the LA have given the place at but leave her on the waiting list at her sisters' school and move her there later if the place is offered.
3. Keep her at home and hope that she eventually gets a place with her sisters.

If every parent who didn't want their child to go to an RI school did the same, then where would we be?

The school that you want is full. Your appeal was rejected because your reasons for wanting a place do not outweigh the negative impact on other children of increasing the school roll above its planned numbers. If a place becomes available then you are first on the list. You are therefore actually in a much more positive position than the many, many thousands of other parents out there who can't get their children into their first choice school.

If shes been private etc shes likely to be put in higher sets at RI school but longer out of school the lower sets she’ll go in.
our school is ofsted good but generally pretty rubbish with lots of bullying. Overall though the kids will be tougher.

Could she be autistic? As that often goes with anxiety and stomach issues - and rigidity about trying a different school.

i would probably just continue with home school its only just over 2 years then alevels.

i guess the tricky thing would be then getting spaces in the gcse subjects she wants if a school place at preferred school comes up. As we’ve already selected…

What on earth gave you this idea?

I think you can apply to grammar school in year too, test based. So get on their waiting lists too plus the school with siblings. If you turned down the other school then that ship may have sailed anyway. Personally I don't think I'd pursue that option if DD is crying about it, you could end up in a worse situation than now! Good luck op I hope a place comes up soon.

The friend who thinks that kicking off at the LA made the slightest bit of difference to the oucome when it was actually due to somebody leaving the school and/or declining a place because they had one somewhere else, I suspect.

Playground lawyers are the bane of my life at this time of year. Not one has ever made a difference to an outcome - but I bet they all tell it to their friends and anybody else within earshot as though they sorted out that stupid school/council.

As it happens, I called other schools after the appeal hearing (just for information) and all are full with waiting lists in the area, except the one offered.

Have you checked schools out of your area OP? It might be worth trying others as the situation seems quite desperate and I wouldn't bet on a place coming up. Even with a longer commute, it could give your DD a fresh start where nobody will know her.

This tbh. OP i think you really need to be working hard on your daughter's resilience and her flexibility - she didn't even give the offered school a try.

She's in year 9, you are in really dangerous territory here of her ending not being in proper education during the GCSE years and ending up really missing out on her potential. I think you will hugely regret it in another 2 years time if she has ended up with few/poor GCSE's or even no GCSE's at all, or not good enough GCSE's for her next path at 16 when she's clearly academically capable of doing reasonably well. It could set her up for an uphill struggle in the coming years, trying to get back on track and it will only make anxiety worse if she's falling behind her peers and inwardly panicking that it's all going wrong.

The best way to get past anxiety is not to avoid it's source but actually to gradually expose yourself to it. She needs to at least give the offered school a try and to some extent you as the parent need to take charge here and be a bit firmer.

As you get closer to year 10 there's likely to be less movement in terms of school places, not more, as fewer kids love around partway through a GCSE course, so both you and she need to stop desperately clinging to this idea that a school place at the school she wants will come up and be a bit more realistic I think. Sorry to be blunt but you are wasting time during crucial years of her education.

Had it occurred to you OP that a secondary source of your daughters anxiety and things like bedwetting could be some worry about her education and what is going to happen?! It must be so stressful for her not being in school when it sounds like ultimately she does want to be in school, just not the one offered. If this situation had happened to me at 14 I would have been an absolute mess of worry and anxiety as it would have felt that my life and opportunities were all rapidly going down the drain with no idea if it was going to get better any time soon.

Yes good post from @Tarkadaaaahling – tbh waiting and hoping for someone to leave the local school (which is essentially what you will have to do if she must go there) is unlikely to end in a place as it would basically mean someone leaving before the end of year 9. Students IME very very rarely leave in year 10, ie mid-GCSE – for obvious reasons. Threads MNers start on “we are moving my DC who is mid-year 10” always end with everyone advising them not to move until after GCSEs.

I really think the RI school is the way forward. I would definitely get in touch and ask to visit. What is it that is so worrying for you about it? If it is just that it is Ofsted RI it’s not the end of the world – and I suspect it would be a lot better for your DD if she were there, rather than at no school.

Sounds very difficult, but it seems like there are only two choices really.

1. accept the school you’re not keen on. It might not be as bad as you imagine.
2. homeschool

You can’t keep waiting indefinitely for your preferred school. If it’s full, it’s full.

Yes of course - I'm a responsible parent who lays awake every night whilst every case scenario occurs to me. I've thought of everything. The choices I make are informed choices.

It is stressful for all of us. It is stressful that I can only get a place at a run down school that, not just me, but no-body seems to want to send their child to, hence why they are the only school to have space currently.

Yesterday, I ignored the offsted report, ignored the experience of others close to me, and others on local information groups, ignored her reluctance to go there and had a look for myself (with her). We bigged it up in the car going there and she was positive. That didn't last long. We hung around and waited for all the children to come out of the school and that wasn't a positive experience either. I'm glad we looked at the school - I've kept my own opinions to myself (I really want her at school) but she has expressed it isn't a school she would feel safe in (she isn't privy to the feedback that I have seen.

Yes - agree. I feel better after this weekend as we've had lots of positive conversation and we've also viewed the school we were offered.

Unfortunately, it isn't a suitable school for her at this time (I was hoping the visit would have a more positive outcome but it's a definite no for the time-being).

We have decided that she will do online school (starting next term, so she's getting herself organised for that) while we wait for a space at any other school. It's not ideal financially but I feel so much better and positive (and so does she) and we will just have to find the money! 🙏

I've contacted all the schools within a reasonable distance, including another council, but all are currently full and I would be quite far down the list due to having no siblings and being further out of catchment. That said, I've still registered her with all schools, just incase!

The only school with space is the school that was offered. If I appeal at any given school, it will always be a case that I have rejected the offered school.

But having refused a place is not relevant to an appeal except to say she is currently out of education. You appeal for the school in question, not against the allocated one. Yes there could be an argument she could be attending but in itself it should not affect the outcome. You could appeal again in the autumn.

Re the other post. For any parent this is the first thing you would think of and do your best to avoid. Her anxiety is absolutely caused by the fact that she is without a school place - the not knowing when she'll get a school place. We are fully aware of that and doing everything we can to fix this. She is desperate to be in a school and we want her in a school.

We viewed the school offered yesterday - I can say with full confidence that this isn't the school for her at this time. The Ofsted report obviously showed improvement was required in all areas (not always a terrible thing as it will receive extra funding), the results were below average but I wasn't overly concerned about that because I feel that she would work hard and we could help on that at home and online tools, but the behaviour of the children is worrying and intimidating. It's been commented time and time again that it isn't a safe school, and having looked at it yesterday I felt that too. I didn't make any comment just to see what she thought and she didn't feel that it was right for her. She knows it's her only option right now, but she has asked if she can work at home until an alternative comes up. She knows it might not but she still feels the same.

I know she wanted to like the school - we were both positive on the way there. It's not nice reading a couple of the comments seemingly implying that she's spoiled and being picky - it's simply not the case - she needs to feel safe and we, as parents, need to know she's safe. I think it also plays on her mind that coming from a private school she will be a bit of a target for bullying (kids, like some adults, assuming she's a spoilt brat) - that can't really be avoided and we'll just have to cross that bridge, if we even get to it. She's been resilient leaving a school that she loved and she's a caring child that works hard to please everyone. She knows this is stressful for all of us and she's trying hard to keep on top of her work and to be open minded.

We are attending an open event for Kings, as you suggested at the weekend. We feel a little more positive at the thought of this, hopefully starting next term if we can sort it financially. It's not fixing the social side, so not ideal for her, but it's a start for now and we feel better than we did last week.

The appeal outcome was that the school I appealed to is not the only school able to meet her needs.

At the time of appeal, I hadn't listed her with any other schools. The situation (that I'm aware of since) is that even if I had, she wouldn't be anywhere near the top of those lists, so yes there are other schools able to meet her needs but she wouldn't get a place at those schools either. The school we appealed to is the closest and she has two siblings there and she is 1st on the waiting list. In hindsight, I should have done my research and had this information to hand - really not sure it would have made a difference though.

I'm thinking that the school offered and rejected will always work against her getting a place at any other suitable school. Hopefully I'm wrong there because it's a problem school - I've spoken to other teams at the local council and they have agreed it wouldn't be a good fit (socially or academically).

So I'm able to appeal again at the beginning of year 10?