Private school - for non super wealthy

[CokeZeroPlease]

Private school
DD has not had a great time at primary school. Not awful but low level bullying, feeling excluded. Always quiet, well behaved never really given much attention. She is now y4.
There is a great private school near us that she could go to from y6 (GDST school) and stay all the way through. I think she’d love it , and I feel the pastoral support might be something she’d need through secondary.
My instinct is her primary school experience will not get better as the kids get older, I don’t feel it’s a particular great class and this has the added benefit of then getting us out of all the 11 plus stress.
I currently work very part time (2 days) and have the opportunity to up my days to full time. I thought if I do this for a year (keeping her in state but knowing it’s just for one more year) and save the difference this gives us a years worth of fees as savings. Then I can continue to work full time to fund it yearly . I recognise the fees will increase every year .
dh earns very well however we are not going to be on lots of holidays, lots of trips. We won’t be poor by any means but what I don’t want is to be the odd ones out.
can anyone advise on what private school is like from a “normal” background ?
thank you

@CokeZeroPlease im the poor parent in a private school. There are some very well off parents, but the kids all get on well so its never been an issue plus i get on well with everyone. Its pretty obvious though that my home is tiny in comparison but no one cares. Go for it.

Its pretty obvious though that my home is tiny in comparison but no one cares. Go for it.

It was the same with us - the dc’s grandparents paid the school fees.
Our house is small and scruffy but dcs friends didn’t appear to notice or care. Also, we don’t have any central heating upstairs and the dcs friends loved the log fire in their bedroom which I would light early in the morning.

Is a state boarding school an option? If so, most of the students there are not from wealthy backgrounds. (some are!)

My DDs were both at an independent girls’ school (not GDST , but out of a similar mould). The younger one was bullied horribly and nothing was done about it. You’re not necessarily buying your way out of those sorts of problems. And, while their exam results looked impressive, in reality teaching was patchy and almost everyone in the GCSE cohort had an outside tutor for one or more subjects. If it’s a lot of money for you and requires a lifestyle change, I would go in with my eyes wide open…..

@CokeZeroPlease id also agree with @WimpoleHat here. Although independent can be great, I have friends who have left for state because theirs has been bullied. It wasn't the wealth of the child, its just sometimes kids can be cruel. Make your feelings known when looking at schools, do they address bullying situations quickly?

But it doesn't make me deluded - the original accusation.

I am a single mum on an income that doesn't even qualify for higher rate tax so not super wealthy at all.

My parents were hairdressers and had their own salon. I went to prep school from age 6. Absolutely loved it. The girls didn't seem to care who had what or about backgrounds. We were just as hapoy hanging at our semi on my small estate as running round a Vicount's manor and playing in the pool. My classmates were so varied - including a daughter of an F1 team proprietor, daughter of a newspaper founder, connections to the Sainsbury family and Ian Fleming and kids who parents just worked hard to pay the fees. I am forever grateful for my education. My DS is in yr 6 of a state primary but will be going to an independent secondary.

DC goes to private secondary. We live in a rented flat. Can’t say DC is bothered and I am definitely not.

It totally depends on the school and it’s ethos. My daughter is at a GDST school (SCHS) and it is wonderfully normal and down to earth. Most families have two working parents and have made huge sacrifices to send their daughters there. The trips are normal and inclusive and it just feels sensible. I have another child at one of the big Dulwich schools which feels less down to earth and more “public” school. I love the GDST ethos more generally and think it would be wonderful to give your daughter that opportunity.