Small nurturing Private Secondary with some black children mixed in :-) Surrey, London

[JustMumma]

I am looking within 1 hr distance around Epsom. she could get transport paid for.
I know the area, so am realistic in terms of cultural mix.

She is going to join year 9

MY DD has been home schooled with an EHCP, very bright but missed a lot of school due to EBSA. Academics not my focus, that will come once she feels loved and settled within a school.

Specialist not really for her, so thinking a small private school but must have some mix of black children.

need to convince LA for private... I mean they are willing to pay for specialist, which is a lot more.

Also open to any specialist nominations although DD wants none that are for autism, as she did not meet criteria for this .....( although mumma knows best lol and I would say defo mildly on the spectrum, she met most of the criteria) SEMH school is not for her, although this is down as her primary need, she has selective mutism so presents as extremely shy. will speak but very quietly and needs nurturing.

I had considered:
Kingswood
Ewell Castle

but don't know what the cultural diversity is like, or if it has changed any over the years .... any inside information fellow Mums??

Thanks in advance

If you want the state to pay for private education you’re going to need to convince both the LA to pay and for a private school to take her. Does she actually have a diagnosis of anything? Because “mummy knows best” isn’t exactly a medical document.

Ps - I’d love to be a fly on the wall when you call the admissions team and ask them if there are any black children mixed in to their school

I doubt the op intends to do that, which is why she has posted on here for info? And anyway, I don’t think there would be anything wrong with asking any question she feels she needs to ask of a school. I’m sure she would frame it less confrontationally than you have!

Based on how you describe your daughter, closer to home is better? Kingswood House and Ewell Castle would be suitable if you live in Epsom. As PP said, getting LA to pay for private school fees will be hard..

Thank you, I am quite direct lol..... I dont apologise if it makes other uncomfortable (especially asking about culture and diversity) but yes, as a teacher, former governor and an EHCP panel member, you are correct i'd probably be a bit more mincy with my choice of words 😉

If LA are offering to pay for specialist provision then I don't actually think it will be that hard to get them to pay for mainstream private as this is usually far cheaper. Sorry no experience with either school but I would just email the school and ask for a tour and you will see for yourself.

The GDST schools probably have a little of that sort of diversity. Maybe Sutton would be the closest to you?

Oh well, that’s ok, as long as you are more mincy with words. Is it specifically some black people you are looking for, or would other minorities tick your boxes too? Maybe add some gay and disabled people into the mix, you know, just to make sure you’re getting the whole cross section in there as you strive for “diversity” for your daughter’s schooling.

The tone of this is so ignorant.

I think she’s striving for a school her child will feel comfortable attending. Pretty sure you’d do the same.

What is your problem??? Most people don’t want their child to be only black or brown child in school.

most parents want their children to feel comfortable and able to fit in. It’s a pretty normal parenting concern

🤣 yes, I saw the scene infront of me. Why does there have to be some black kids mixed in? Where we live there are not many black people but people from north Africa. Would that be OK even if you can't say they are black?

This comment probably sounded really good in your head. Which is where it should've stayed.

Why does there have to be some black kids mixed in?
Can you really not think why? Go on, try a bit harder...

My thoughts exactly.... but things don't always go in Logical order :-)
Yes, I will end up doing this, thank you.

will have a look, thanks 💛

I would want a school that would welcome my question to be honest. It is as others have said a normal concern/ line of enquiry as, being in Surrey there are less black children, this I am aware of. Any school offended by my line of questioning is not the school for us. Diversity in other senses of the word is not my concern currently. I did not bother to go into details and explanations as to why My black child requires other black children around her, as this was not a time for me to educated the uninformed. But as others have said, my daughter specially needs to have some other children in her school environment that look like her as not having that can impact negatively on her self esteem which as explained earlier is in tatters currently. I have seen this first had with her private Prep school. I say all this in love, and I do thank you for taking the time to comment. 💜

It’s a totally normal thing to ask, don’t worry, as you said if they’re weird about that question, like it wouldn’t bode well anyway.

The child has an EHCP. You know, one of those things they just hand out when a parent asks for it with no documented evidence of need 🙄.

I have known children have private (non-specialist) school funded by EHCP. I can also understand why it would be important for the DD to be amongst other children that look like her. I don't have any school suggestions as I'm not local but wish you luck OP.

I have DCs at 2 different private schools in London. Neither would have any problem at all with you asking how many other black children there are in the school.

Maybe an all girls school would not be suitable as joining in Year 9 cliques may be formed.

Thames Christian school. 1 min walk from Clapham Junction. Small, very nurturing and diverse intake for a private school.

Not a terrible shout. Really, for a kid going in partway through year 9, with a history of EBSA and home schooling [for how many years?], I think the 'nurturing' aspect is probably going to be a lot more important than pupil demographics.

trigger warning.

Whilst I appreciate your comments and suggestions for a school. I have made it clear nurture is important, that does not take brain cells to figure out. I would consider nothing less. But my daughter has experienced racism at a very young age and has attempted to kill her self amonst other forms of showing self-hatred, so please be thoughtful instead of carelessly telling me what is more important! Please think about this before you offend someone else.
I asked a question, and I welcome answers not an opinion on if it was the right question to be asking for MY DD.

Thank you, will look into it 💛