Small nurturing Private Secondary with some black children mixed in :-) Surrey, London

[JustMumma]

I am looking within 1 hr distance around Epsom. she could get transport paid for.
I know the area, so am realistic in terms of cultural mix.

She is going to join year 9

MY DD has been home schooled with an EHCP, very bright but missed a lot of school due to EBSA. Academics not my focus, that will come once she feels loved and settled within a school.

Specialist not really for her, so thinking a small private school but must have some mix of black children.

need to convince LA for private... I mean they are willing to pay for specialist, which is a lot more.

Also open to any specialist nominations although DD wants none that are for autism, as she did not meet criteria for this .....( although mumma knows best lol and I would say defo mildly on the spectrum, she met most of the criteria) SEMH school is not for her, although this is down as her primary need, she has selective mutism so presents as extremely shy. will speak but very quietly and needs nurturing.

I had considered:
Kingswood
Ewell Castle

but don't know what the cultural diversity is like, or if it has changed any over the years .... any inside information fellow Mums??

Thanks in advance

Thanks for reassurance 💛

😆 brain cells are not always distributed fairly lol.

Thanks for your comment and sharing your experience. 💛

OP, given all that you have said, please avoid Ewell Castle AT ALL COSTS.

i’m not usually quite so direct, but it is a terrible, terrible school and although it says the right things about diversity and inclusion, in practice it’s a completely different story. I’m happy for you to DM me if you’d like more info.

Good luck with finding the right place for your DD - I totally get your desire for her to be somewhere nurturing and where she feels accepted.

My DD has a similar profile of needs - you might find some more options on a thread I posted a few months ago.

If you’re on instagram, a lot of these schools have accounts - their posts might give you an insight into demographics and whether they are somewhere you’d like to pursue?

You can indeed get mainstream private schools funded through EHCPs. It shouldn’t be necessary, but until state mainstreams are better resourced to take autistic students’ pastoral needs more seriously, we are where we are 🤷‍♀️. All the best with it OP.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/5371698-smallish-nurturing-secondary-schools-in-sw-london?page=1

Ewell castle. Highly recommend. The current Y9 is a really lovely group.

are you looking to start this year? Or looking at September 2026?

DS says Y9 culturally reflects the area. Which fits with what I have seen. Ie I have noticed there are different cultures represented at the school and in DS friend mix.

SEN support is amazing.

Kingswood was not great for us with SEN a while back. Not sure what it is like now as there have been some changes since our experience. Many parents love it and love the SEN support. Don’t remember the diversity mix being something to remark on but I wasn’t looking out for it.

have you considered Epsom college or St John’s in Leatherhead?

Surbiton high?
Downsend?
Claremont Fan court?

please DM me for any other specific EC questions

What about Duke of Kent or RGS Surrey Hills (was Box Hill until the name change)?

Another recommendation for Thames Christian school. Don't have kids there but have friends who do who recommend. Would also agree about some of the GDST schools being suitable too. The single sex schools seem to be more diverse, not sure why. Good luck on search , OP.

Christ’s hospital school in Horsham the uniforms is a bit out there, but for Surrey it’s a very culturally diverse school.

also look at Emmanuel Clapham junction / Wandsworth. Can take the train. Everyone I know with kids there loves it and chose it for their child to be nurtured.

Btw our experience does not fit with this.

Very nurturing. Very inclusive. SEN support goes out of its way to be inclusive.

however we have a similar reaction to @ClarabelleRosewhen asked about Kingswood!

every school is different and every family has a different experience to the next one. Definitely worth going to have a look and asking directly about diversity.

here is a link to Emanuel btw
https://www.emanuel.org.uk/

Box hill (now RGS Surrey Hills) also has a great rep. But not sure about cultural mix amongst pupils.

What about King Edward’s Witley ?
friends kids like it and they are quiet types

https://www.kesw.org/

@JustMummai know you said your DD doesn't want ASD specific, but have you looked at Limpsfield Grange? It's categorised as High Coin so the girls are academically able but have communication as their primary need.

Hi OP, I hope you find the right school! Is it worth also posting this on the Black Mumsnetters board?

Beat me to it!

Also, assuuming GDST schools used to be GPDST, I won a scholarship to one and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. (Too long ago to have any memory of its diversity intake score, but it was a great girl's school.)

As you said, the general demographics through much of Surrey means that most schools (private or otherwise) end up being mostly white, because they reflect the make up of the surrounding areas.

The best chance of not being in a high majority white school is to look at areas where the community demographics are not overwhelmingly white. So maybe Croydon, Sutton or other outer London areas. I think maybe Royal Russell is a less academic/ high pressured Croydon school, but I don't know it myself.

Fwiw, my children went to a nurturing private school in Surrey, and whilst it was representative of the community it certainly wasn't all white. I'd say maybe 5% or so non white. I wasn't aware of any race based issues (easy for me to say that as a white person though!) I think the communal identifier that the children find is of similar privileged backgrounds with parents engaged and invested in their education, rather than race/culture.

What's the issue?

I partially raised my children in a nonwhite country and did try to ask various international school admissions about the number of white children in the school and they were clearly very anxious telling me anything about it

But I didn’t want my child to be the only white kid in the class (it’s particularly weird when all the teachers are white and so few of the students are)

So OP, I totally know where you are coming from here and don’t let people shame you over this. When you are a clear majority, you never have to think about it and can be rather dismissive. They should really be grateful they never have to think about it

Thank you, yes deffo search instagram :-)
Its the small size that she needs. So tricky.

I put it on my list, but sen have not considered it. Difficult to get anything out of limpsfield grange as they say they are over subscribed and I must wait for consultation before I can visit.

Thank you for sharing 💓

Yes posted 👍🏽

Hazelwick, east Crawley. Very diverse and pupils are very respectful of their differences in colour and religion. Supportive pastoral and SEN

Lovely supportive school. No diversity though.