PTSD as a result of school appeals process

[Lenart]

Anyone else in this position. My daughter was denied a place at secondary school in our small town. She was the only one in her class and split from all her friends- transition days I had to pull her out of school so she wasn't sat in the class on her own while everyone else went to the school she was excluded from. The school refused to give us information on distances and communication was just awful- no compassion and made me feel like I was the one out of order- Kids on our street have always gone to the local school so it was a complete and utter shock. I gave so much evidence of kids much further away than us getting a place- but the school just lied- the panel was not from this area so took the word of the school over mine.. We now feel like lepurs in our town completely isolated. I no longer have anything in common with my old school mum pals and actually feel quite traumatised in their company. I can't walk past the school. I know for certain proper procedure was not followed and feel completely wronged and helpless- they know this too but the cover up and lies rather than admitting a mistake is shocking. There is no one left to appeal to and even if they were offered a place now I don't want anything to do with the school. The problem is I just can't move on. I have had PTSD previously due to childhood trauma and the symptoms now feel exactly the same. To be fair my daughter is coping much better than me so if course keeping a brave face but inside I am screaming.

You took your child out of school rather than have her attend a new school without her primary freinds?

I think trauma and PTSD are an absolute over reaction here and your child has been denied a chance because of you. Why did you take her out?

You've misunderstood.

OP, I am sorry, how awful for this school to lie and cover up.

What school has your daughter been offered? Can you focus on the good things about it? I went to a school miles from home where I knew no-one and it was fantastic.

So I you saying that according to the schools own admissions policy you should have had a place at the school, but because of an error you weren't given one?

Can't you go to the local government and social are ombudsman re admissions?

What exactly have the school lied and covered up? Usually the allocations are based on criteria that’s easily available on the school website. Is the school an academy or a maintained local authority school? If you have proof of children being admitted into the school that are lower down the priority list than your child- ie: live further away than you (and you’re certain they don’t fall into any other categories higher up the list) you should be appealing on that basis. If you’ve appealed already but appealed for a different reason, legally you can appeal again if the facts of the case are different.

If the appeal system was really corrupted you can raise it with your MP?

This does sound really traumatic for your family OP but be careful when you say even if your daughter is offered a place now you want nothing to do with them that you are not making this about you when it is actually about your daughter.

If your daughter would still like to go to the school then put her name down on the waiting list for if children don't take up their place or drop out. If your daughter has adapted now then leave it.

No you really do not have post traumatic stress disorder from this event and your overreaction is dreadful for those who really have experienced or witnessed horrific things. ( road accidents, death, rape, murders). Serving soldiers, police officers, family where a relative has died in front of them, paramedics.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/overview/

You must understand the difference from your previous traumatic experience. If it is linked to that you need more support but dealing with school places, nope! You just need a bit of resilience.

@greensidepatchI think op meant she kept her child at home when the rest of Y6 went for their transition day, so she was not the only child in her year at her primary school that day. I’ve nothing to add except I can empathise that you would not want a place now, even if one was offered. What is the Headteacher at your primary school doing ? They should be helping you! Hoping that your daughter makes an excellent transition to wherever she is going and, makes fabulous friends for life and does really well. Poor show on the part of the ‘Mum’ friends too.

My daughter found her dad dead at 10. She was alone. She did CPR. She has trauma and PTSD. Your daughter is upset.
There’s a difference.

And as far as process, the school do not deal with admissions appeals. This is an independent panel, arranged by the Local Authority. They have used the evidence presented, including by you and have followed legal process. If they haven't changes would have been made.

You need to get over it. Your child is coping well most people would be happy and support her in this instead of comparing being upset to ptsd. Why can't you submit formal complaint, or go to MP if procedures haven't been followed? I feel there's going to be a back story here....

Massive overreaction on your part. Are you not a bit sheepish that your child is coping much better than you when it was her school place? It’s a non-issue, she’s fine, nobody died.

With all due respect the OP has said she previously had PTSD so this experience is retraumatising her so the comments on other people’s more serious PTSD events, which obviously are also incredibly traumatic too, are not relevant.

I think @Lenart you need to take a step back.

Our DS didn’t get offered a school because “apparently” he isn’t in catchment. The school is on our road and 200m from our door in very low density housing area so unless they have a ridiculously small catchment which they don’t someone made a mistake.

You are taking stuff incredibly personally. Mistakes undoubtedly were made but keep pursuing it and accept the offer you have in the meantime.

Please stop misusing terminology such as PTSD, OP. It’s inaccurate and deeply insulting to those who really have suffered trauma.

If you genuinely think that the appeals panel did not conduct the appeal according to process, then you can complain and ask either the LGO (for maintained schools) or the DfE (for academies).

https://www.gov.uk/schools-admissions/complain-about-the-appeals-process

How do you know they made a mistake/covered things up? Kids may not be in the catchment area but certain children will still be able to get in, ie kids who are adopted in some instance or foster kids will be given spots even if they are not in the catchment area.
some children with disabilities are given a place even if not in a catchment area.

This isn’t new PTSD. I’d say this situation has triggered (yes in the proper sense of the word) stuff from your childhood trauma. That’s what you need to look at here. You know it’s an overreaction per the pp.

I say this as someone who has extensive childhood trauma and only after many many years of therapy do I realise how the past warps the present and tricks me into thinking otherwise.

Massive overreaction on your part. Honestly things like this happen in life. We don’t always get what we want. Good on your daughter for coping well. I hope she enjoys her new school.

If your Local Authority (and to be clear it is the LA if you are in England or Wales, schools have absolutely no say in the admission process) did not follow their own admissions policy and children got into the school ahead of your DD who were lower down the list then you should easily have won your appeal. It wouldn’t have even gone to appeal - the LA would have overturned the decision as soon as the mistake was noted. Can you tell us a bit more about what grounds you appealed on and what happened in the appeal hearing?

I would be surprised if, as you say, all the kids in your dd's class, as well as on your street, have been allocated places at that school, but you have not for some reason. Do all the kids in the class have siblings already at the new school? That might explain it (assuming having a sibling is one of the oversubscription criteria on their admissions policy).

How exactly have the school lied? If you could explain that, we might be able to help.

Why do you think they lied? Who benefited from that of it was the case?

The diagnostic criteria for PTSD require fear for life/serious injury, so as pp said this wouldn't cause PTSD. However if you have previous PTSD from abuse or similar the similar feelings of panic/severe stress may have triggered an episode of your pre-existing PTSD. Otherwise it is probably a reaction to severe stress or adjustment disorder which have a some symptoms in common with PTSD.

You should contact your GP, you may need a course of therapy e.g. EMDR.

I think PTSD is overstating it but I was absolutely blindsided when my DD was in this position and I understand the bitterness and anger. I was taken back by how badly I took it - I ended up having to take a fortnight off work as I just couldn't sleep. We missed out on a place by 8 metres in the first round, missed out on the second round due to people who lived nearer going on the waiting list and overtaking her, and a place was finally offered mid-May. Your daughter must be near the top of the waiting list though?

As @Lougle says, if you believe the school lied to the appeal panel or the appeal panel failed to follow the correct process, you can refer the matter to the ESFA if this is an academy, the LGO for any other type of school. If they find things have gone wrong, they can order a fresh hearing with a different appeal panel.

The school's failure to answer your questions may be a breach of the Appeals Code, but it depends exactly what you asked. They could not, for example, answer questions as to why child X was admitted ahead of your child.

Children living further away than you being admitted ahead of you does not necessarily mean a mistake has been made. If they were in a higher admissions category than your child, they will be admitted first regardless of distance.

I'm really sorry this has triggered your PTSD.