My child was hit by a pen, thrown by a teacher

[Tiredallthetimelaura]

So my daughter who is in year 8 was in a lesson when her teacher 'cold called' her a question. My daughter responded she didn't know the answer and the teacher then threw a highlighter pen at her, hitting her on the arm. The teacher then did it again to another student, also hitting them on the arm. We have reached level 2 of a complaint, but it's always investigated by management within the academy. The school keep down playing what happened and not investigating what we ask. This teacher is still teaching, although my daughter isn't going in on the day of that lesson, which is greatly affecting her attendance. The school said they would move my daughter so she could do a different lesson (double Maths or double English), but we said no! This feels like a punishment to our daughter. She wants to do that lesson, just not with that teacher... and we agree.
Any advice on what/how the school legally should be handling this? Happy to answer any further questions Xx

You remind me of my mother, “you could’ve had his eye out with that”, how many people lost their eyes by being hit with a frisbee style throw of a high lighter ?

She also used to tell me my kidneys would melt if I sat too close to the radiator.

She would’ve been a 100 this year.

I imagine you've never played racket sports
Or been involved in a particuarly lively game of pass the parcel.
Or Said 'catch' and pretended to throw an egg at someone to watch them duck and then both laughed at the hilarious joke.
Or been hit by a swingball.
Or stood near a football goal.
Or played that game in drama class where you throw the bean bag to the next person say the next line but the previous person throws it too hard.
Or been whacked in the ankle by a hockey stick.
Or fell off a beam in gymnastics.
Or had a pillow fight.

this was clearly a game where the pen was thrown to the next student to answer a question. It was not a missile or a malicious act intended to harm anyone.

I bet you're the type of person to call the police if someones dog tripped you over.

This. Most kids round the world are in tougher, more potentially violent situations. Making a big deal of something like this is a bit of a “first world” problem, and an entitled one at that.

I seem to have touched a raw nerve?

What is it you don't like about
"Perhaps teachers should learn NOT to throw things at people" ?

Your poor daughter....she's going to be humiliated due to this. She's going to end up bring called highlighter. I can guarantee she's the butt of the joke at school at the moment and you are making it worse. It's a none issue that's going nowhere you have very little proof. The school will always side with the teacher in this case. You are making yourself a laughing stock.

No nerves just enjoying myself by passing time , the kitten peed on my bed this morning at 4 am so I am passing time before everyone wakes up as the bedsheets are now in the washng machine! No, that didnt annoy me either, I just dealt with it without crying or accusing the kitten of targeting me with her pee missile.
I don't have any raw nerves as I was raised by a family who enjoy a wind up 😂.

The kitten is NOT a kitten, it’s a PERPETRATOR!

You’ll next be saying you’re not a victim or emotionally upset!

I wonder what colour highlighter was thrown? Asking for a friend obviously…

It sounds like your DD can’t cope with the attention this put on her -I would get her some counselling and shut down this non-event

For some reason, I imagined orange.

Tell her to get a grip. No reason she can’t go to her music lesson.

when people complain kids have no resilience this is why.

Lol at emotionally shook up. That’s quite embarrassing.

One of my teachers used to throw bits of chalk at kids who were being distracted. Worked a treat. Was more effective than calling out to them.

I’ve been in several high schools recently, and I believe if a teacher had thrown a pen in a nasty or malicious way, there would be instant uproar from the kids. I’m surprised, her classmates didn’t react at the time if it was an assault.

Occasionally, I ‘gently’ toss pens around my upper primary classroom because when they’re sat together it can be hard to reach a child to hand it over; the kids love it because it’s a ‘bit naughty’ and something I normally wouldn’t allow. Whatever the reason the teacher threw the pen, whether part of a game or a ‘here, catch this and highlight the answer’, I’m sure, after an investigation and a talking to from the head, she’ll not dare do it again.

Your daughter is the one currently missing out on her music education because of all of this. I can see you are upset and trying to help her, but I think it would be in your daughter’s best interests to send her to class, she will be with her peers and not on her own. I doubt the teacher would even dare to breathe in her direction now. She is 13 now and she may unfortunately meet worse people in her life than a music teacher hitting her arm with a light plastic pen; she needs to learn to navigate these situations.

Now you see I had the traditional yellow one on my head…

Yeah totally sounds like a game.
Next time your kid should play their own game and throw it back at the teacher. Then we'll see.

GoPissGirl · Today 06:50

Yeah totally sounds like a game.
Next time your kid should play their own game and throw it back at the teacher. Then we'll see.

FFS...

She can’t, the DD has point blank refused to even enter the school on music day as she doesn’t feel safe.

It’s unclear if the music teacher only works a day a week, because otherwise she shouldn’t be attending school on any of the days that the music teacher is there.

Ok so here is the advice from a school governor who deals with Stage 2 complaints.

What should you do?

1. Be extremely clear about what outcome you want from the school from investigating the complaint. As a governor I’d expect the outcome to be reasonable and proportionate. Eg. An apology from the school and confirmation that a system/reminder/process is in place to stop something reoccurring.

Remember- you do not get to have a say in the schools operational decisions or staffing decisions or visibility of this. So eg if the teacher is disciplined the schools should not and will not share that information with you.

2. You have escalated the complaint to stage 2 - the investigation will be on whether there were failing at the stage 1 investigation. You need to be clear on what you this the failure of the investigation is. Being unhappy with the conclusion or recommended steps is not going to be relevant for stage 2 unless you can explain what went wrong at stage 1.

I’d bear in mind that from your description there doesn’t seem to be much in dispute between you and the school on what actually happened. Your issue seems to be how seriously the school should be taking it. As you will have seen from responses to this thread, different people have different views on that. It doesn’t mean that the school should adopt yours. You and they are allowed to disagree on teh severity of an incident and that will not be changed by the complaints procedures.

If you escalate to the LEA they will only intervene if they think there has been a problem with the investigation as per stage 2. It doesn’t sound like that here but of course the devil is in the details.

in terms if your ultimate decision - I would not expect schools to change their operation or staffing processes in response to the desire from a parent. It sounds like they have offered you reasonable alternatives and it is up to you if you take them or not. Your other option is to move your child to a different school.

If you pursue this complaint the most likely outcome is that you spend a lot of time and effort (as does the school) and do not get to see any change. It may be emotionally difficult and unsatisfying, and in the mean time your child may be missing out.

On a personal note- I have ‘playfully’ thrown things like Lego at my (much younger) children and probably at their friends. I would not want a stranger aggressively doing this to my children. There is likely a difference in context based on whether children feel ‘safe’ around an adult and how they interpret the intent behind the action.

If your child does not feel safe or felt that there was not good intent then that is a valid feeling. But you should try and help them differentiate between their feeling and the action. This is a big part of resilience.

So you’re withdrawing her for the whole day and moaning it’s affecting her attendance! Just speak to the school and say she won’t be attending that lesson, until it’s sorted out, and she will go to the library and read! However, through life she is going to have more challenging situations than this, so you should be helping her develop resilience. I find it quite disturbing that you are going round interrogating other students. Everyone knows that witnesses to an event will all tell a slightly different story, so you’re achieving nothing other than making her classmates feel uncomfortable! I also suspect as it’s music they have less music teachers than they would have say in maths and English!

I agree with this.

the teacher shouldn’t have done it.

However you are making this so much worse for her.

It’s green in my head.

You went and interviewed the children in the class.
You are keeping your daughter off school for 20% of the week.
You have refused the schools offer to get you child back in that day.

And all for a highlighter being thrown which hit your child’s blazer.

The school heard your complaint, they also interviewed the children, the teacher was interviewed, it was investigated, I doubt the teacher will play this ‘game’ again, and was probably left to feel awful, I think you’ve had your pound of flesh.

What do you want her sacked? Would that make you feel better? Seriously?

Move on, show resilience, get over yourself.

The poor girl is probably more embarrassed that the OP is going around interrogating her classmates!

You are only harming your daughter with your stubbornness here. The school have offered a solution- you either take it or your daughter misses out on education. You cannot stamp your foot and get the teacher fired- it’s not going to happen. Accept that and move on. Alternatively change schools- those are the only choices you have- like it or not.

Please teach your child some resilience. This really is a very silly thing to get so dramatic about. There is no trauma by being tapped with a highlighter.

To those saying she should have thrown it back (with a matching throw of course because this was a game and not malicious or aggressive). If she had, then I imagine the teacher would have caught it or missed in which case it may have gently brushed her own arm to which she would have picked it up and carried on with her life because it’s not traumatic to have a highlighter touch you arm in a frisbee way.