Page 17 | My child was hit by a pen, thrown by a teacher

Tiredallthetimelaura · 2025-05-23T19:29:00+00:00

So my daughter who is in year 8 was in a lesson when her teacher 'cold called' her a question. My daughter responded she didn't know the answer and the teacher then threw a highlighter pen at her, hitting her on the arm. The teacher then did it again to another student, also hitting them on the arm. We have reached level 2 of a complaint, but it's always investigated by management within the academy. The school keep down playing what happened and not investigating what we ask. This teacher is still teaching, although my daughter isn't going in on the day of that lesson, which is greatly affecting her attendance. The school said they would move my daughter so she could do a different lesson (double Maths or double English), but we said no! This feels like a punishment to our daughter. She wants to do that lesson, just not with that teacher... and we agree. Any advice on what/how the school legally should be handling this? Happy to answer any further questions Xx

Hankunamatata · 23/05/2025 23:44

Tiredallthetimelaura · 23/05/2025 20:42

The teacher states it was 'a game', and the school have jumped on that excuse. They keep missing the point that the pen was thrown after my daughter answered the question and the same for the other child. They just keep down playing it! They acknowledge a pen was thrown and it did hit her but the statements of the other children in that class don't all match up so therefore this is not that serious, blah blah blah.
I collected my own statements from kids in that class and it's actually a very different story. I presented these to the last person investigating, but he seems to only really acknowledge the school statements, including the teachers!
It's a cover up! But I don't know where to go from here!

Id have serious issues that you took statements from kids without their parents present!

socialdilemmawhattodo · 23/05/2025 23:45

Tiredallthetimelaura · 23/05/2025 20:51

Just for clarification, it's not the 80s anymore and you can't go throwing things at kids.
She was asked a question, she said she didn't know the answer and THEN the pen was thrown at her.
No I don't work in the school, I reached out to the parents of the kids in that class and asked them if they could ask their child if they remember an incident regarding my daughter in music. The parents all replied back.

You are the online personification of why teachers are leaving in their droves. Please, please get a grip and tell your DD to also get a grip - perhaps a little more waffly. Plenty of ideas on this thread.

amybabysa · 23/05/2025 23:45

socialdilemmawhattodo · 23/05/2025 23:45

You are the online personification of why teachers are leaving in their droves. Please, please get a grip and tell your DD to also get a grip - perhaps a little more waffly. Plenty of ideas on this thread.

Show quote history

You can’t surely think it’s ok for teachers to throw stuff

TappyGilmore · 23/05/2025 23:46

OP, you do need to have a think about what you are actually looking for here. We could all agree that throwing the pen was inappropriate but so what? The school has offered a resolution in the form of your child moving to a different class. Your child doesn’t want that. So do you have any other ideas or solutions? The teacher isn’t going anywhere, this is not the sort of thing that they would be dismissed over.

Hankunamatata · 23/05/2025 23:47

Tiredallthetimelaura · 23/05/2025 21:25

I haven't flounce anywhere, and I don't expect everyone to agree with me, however I didn't expect a 'pack of wolves' response.
My daughter is very resilient, she's battled battles I hope none of you ever have to go through! That aside, the highlighter pen narrowly missed her face, as she had her cheek resting in her hand. I didn't conduct my own 'interviews' like the police, directly to the kids... I reached out to the parents and I did this because a child in that class reached out to my daughter stating that she was instructed on certain things to write in her statement of events. The other child who got hit also has gone on to say she was told to only write about my daughter and not herself. That's why I said it seemed as a cover up was happening.
I truly hope none of you are teachers! If you can't see that throwing anything at a child, for any reason is wrong... I'm not the problem here!
Regarding the absence of the day - our daughter point blank refused for 5 weeks to attend school on that day, because she doesn't feel safe... YES, SAFE, around that teacher.
It's been confirmed it wasn't done for a laugh, and none of the kids in that class were expecting it! It was thrown in a frissbee type throw with the intention of hitting her, AFTER my daughter had answered her question!

The school have offered several alternatives and it's 1 lesson. Why would she not want to attend for a whole day?

Your not looking for solutions. Your looking for a teacher to be sacked

WhateverMate · 23/05/2025 23:49

I think possibly the most humiliating part of all this is your mum speaking to 20 of your classmates, to get their take on it 🙈

RadiovTV · 23/05/2025 23:49

In this day and age, it's probably not the smartest thing in the world to do (albeit we've only got one side of the story here), but I genuinely don't understand how a child could be raised in such a way that being hit on the arm by a pen could leave them 'emotionally traumatised'.
Something has gone seriously wrong there

Quite. I don't know how us over 50s ever survived school without some serious therapy. I was once put on detention for something I didn't do. I was slapped on the hand with a ruler when the teacher meant to slap my desk. Some kid in infant school bit my arse in assembly and they made ME sit at the front for a week as if I'd done something wrong.

Hit by a launched biro? Wouldn't have registered.

thirdfiddle · 23/05/2025 23:49

I do get where your dd is coming from. If you are anxious about speaking already, being cold called is scary, and then to have someone be nasty about the fact you didn't know the answer when nobody had taught it to you - my y8 would really feel the injustice of that. And then for them to lie about what happened on top of that and make you look foolish.

I think what you should be looking for is an apology from the teacher to your DD and an acknowledgement that she should not have cold called her and should not have thrown anything. Maybe knowing that you're not out to get her sacked might de-escalate the whole stupid business.

Teacher shouldn't throw things. Perhaps just as importantly she shouldn't lie about incidents in class. She shouldn't be sacked as nobody was actually hurt.

As for 'resilience' - if the daughter's future girlfriend/boyfriend throws something at her in anger then lies and says it was just a game, should she be resilient then? I feel like in adult life this would be seen as a red flag, and I'd be encouraging my kid to clear out.

Sheepsheeps · 23/05/2025 23:51

Dear God.....🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

gingerelephant · 23/05/2025 23:53

I think the comment that the OP collected their own evidence seems rather vindictive. I would think it better to treat this as an accident during the lesson or a game, no-one was hurt so why make this a big deal.

PalePinkPeony · 23/05/2025 23:58

RadiovTV · 23/05/2025 23:49

In this day and age, it's probably not the smartest thing in the world to do (albeit we've only got one side of the story here), but I genuinely don't understand how a child could be raised in such a way that being hit on the arm by a pen could leave them 'emotionally traumatised'.
Something has gone seriously wrong there

Quite. I don't know how us over 50s ever survived school without some serious therapy. I was once put on detention for something I didn't do. I was slapped on the hand with a ruler when the teacher meant to slap my desk. Some kid in infant school bit my arse in assembly and they made ME sit at the front for a week as if I'd done something wrong.

Hit by a launched biro? Wouldn't have registered.

A lot of you haven’t survived without needing therapy.
Being hurt by adults who are in charge and not complaining isn’t some sort of badge of honor

AiryFairy1 · 23/05/2025 23:58

Dear me, when I was 16, a million years ago, the maths teacher threw some chalk at me, and the whole class thought I was a legend 😅 was my badge of honour for a good few weeks 💪

amybabysa · 23/05/2025 23:59

AiryFairy1 · 23/05/2025 23:58

Dear me, when I was 16, a million years ago, the maths teacher threw some chalk at me, and the whole class thought I was a legend 😅 was my badge of honour for a good few weeks 💪

> a million years ago

times have changed. Would you be happy a teacher throwing chalk at your child?

MuggleMe · 23/05/2025 23:59

The teacher messed up. It's not acceptable behaviour but not worth getting sacked over. I'm so sorry your DD doesn't feel safe in her lesson, her additional needs clearly mean she's more sensitive to actions like this.

I have a DD with ASD and she has a very strong sense of justice. She's had altercations with other children because of it that haven't been handled well by school and she's ruminated on them and held a grudge against the child and teachers, to the extent of not going to a club she loves because the teacher runs it and still talking about it months later.

Is there therapy or support you can find, or the school can offer to help her move on?

I know this will sound so extreme to many mnetters but ND brains work in a different way.

amybabysa · 24/05/2025 00:01

MuggleMe · 23/05/2025 23:59

The teacher messed up. It's not acceptable behaviour but not worth getting sacked over. I'm so sorry your DD doesn't feel safe in her lesson, her additional needs clearly mean she's more sensitive to actions like this.

I have a DD with ASD and she has a very strong sense of justice. She's had altercations with other children because of it that haven't been handled well by school and she's ruminated on them and held a grudge against the child and teachers, to the extent of not going to a club she loves because the teacher runs it and still talking about it months later.

Is there therapy or support you can find, or the school can offer to help her move on?

I know this will sound so extreme to many mnetters but ND brains work in a different way.

A teacher will very much get suspended/ sacked over a physical altercation with a pupil. Can you imagine parents complaining if they didn’t. Plus where do you draw the line if throwing heavy pens is ok?

Paperthin · 24/05/2025 00:01

Teachers shouldn’t throw things, and I’d be asking myself why that happened.
BUT
Are we now in a situation where a child cannot be asked a question in a lesson at school ? We have to call it ‘cold calling’ and it’s not allowed ? Really?

I fear for the future I really do.

PalePinkPeony · 24/05/2025 00:02

thirdfiddle · 23/05/2025 23:49

I do get where your dd is coming from. If you are anxious about speaking already, being cold called is scary, and then to have someone be nasty about the fact you didn't know the answer when nobody had taught it to you - my y8 would really feel the injustice of that. And then for them to lie about what happened on top of that and make you look foolish.

I think what you should be looking for is an apology from the teacher to your DD and an acknowledgement that she should not have cold called her and should not have thrown anything. Maybe knowing that you're not out to get her sacked might de-escalate the whole stupid business.

Teacher shouldn't throw things. Perhaps just as importantly she shouldn't lie about incidents in class. She shouldn't be sacked as nobody was actually hurt.

As for 'resilience' - if the daughter's future girlfriend/boyfriend throws something at her in anger then lies and says it was just a game, should she be resilient then? I feel like in adult life this would be seen as a red flag, and I'd be encouraging my kid to clear out.

Precisely. If anyone threw something at my kid because they said the wrong thing when they were an adult I would hope that I’ve taught them NOT to be a wet wipe / door mat and say nothing. I would hope I had taught them to stand up for themselves and actually call out something they felt was wrong. Same thing if they saw some thing wrong happening to someone else.
Dont want my kid thinking it’s normal for adult to chuck stuff and a weaker / more vulnerable person

thetrumanshow · 24/05/2025 00:02

amybabysa · 23/05/2025 23:59

> a million years ago

times have changed. Would you be happy a teacher throwing chalk at your child?

Show quote history

I would wonder where the chalk comes from, they don't really use it anymore

but when it's done in a joke way, like the poster above, even my children would laugh. They would likely tell their teacher it's mean, and get another piece thrown at them 😂

Helloworlditsmeagain · 24/05/2025 00:02

thirdfiddle · 23/05/2025 23:49

I do get where your dd is coming from. If you are anxious about speaking already, being cold called is scary, and then to have someone be nasty about the fact you didn't know the answer when nobody had taught it to you - my y8 would really feel the injustice of that. And then for them to lie about what happened on top of that and make you look foolish.

I think what you should be looking for is an apology from the teacher to your DD and an acknowledgement that she should not have cold called her and should not have thrown anything. Maybe knowing that you're not out to get her sacked might de-escalate the whole stupid business.

Teacher shouldn't throw things. Perhaps just as importantly she shouldn't lie about incidents in class. She shouldn't be sacked as nobody was actually hurt.

As for 'resilience' - if the daughter's future girlfriend/boyfriend throws something at her in anger then lies and says it was just a game, should she be resilient then? I feel like in adult life this would be seen as a red flag, and I'd be encouraging my kid to clear out.

The word resilience is spoken a lot in regards to children. They should put up and shut up and get on with it. Schools are like prisons. Adults wouldn't tolerate that sort of behaviour at work they would find another job. Why should young people fear going to school because it doesn't make them resilient it turns them into introverts.

Velmy · 24/05/2025 00:03

RadiovTV · 23/05/2025 23:40

Honestly, I can't see why you're making such a fuss. When I was at school in the late 80s, teachers throwning chalk and board rubbers at pupils were were regular occurrences and we all behaved a lot better. No one was traumatised

Likewise. The board rubber was usually launched with intent to shock, not hit.
Pens and pencils sometimes hit the mark. Nobody traumatised here either.
Just made you sit up and pay attention.

We had a teacher in secondary school (mid 90s) that we called The Terminator (massive Polish guy with a buzz cut who looked and sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger)...he used to keep a thick bamboo cane by his desk that was bent to badly it was almost a half moon shape.

He'd whack it on people's desks when they were playing up or not paying attention, and tell stories about how the cane had got to be so bent back when he was allowed to use it on kids.

Absolutely terrifying.

Turned out it was a load of nonsense; he used to bring in a new bit of bamboo every year and bend it over his knee. All our parents knew and found it fucking hilarious.

The upshot was that we all paid attention in his class, and as far as I'm aware nobody was 'traumatised' 😅

PalePinkPeony · 24/05/2025 00:04

AiryFairy1 · 23/05/2025 23:58

Dear me, when I was 16, a million years ago, the maths teacher threw some chalk at me, and the whole class thought I was a legend 😅 was my badge of honour for a good few weeks 💪

Bully for you.
a thousand things happened in the past and were deemed ok that arnt now. Doesn’t make it ok.

Theroadt · 24/05/2025 00:04

ResidentPorker · 23/05/2025 20:52

I mean it's not great, but I don't think you're helping your daughter develop resilience by making such a fuss about this.

This.

LipbalmOrKnickers · 24/05/2025 00:06

'emotionally she was shook up and embarrassed!'

Absolutely insane. Stop 'taking statements' and start teaching your kid emotional resilience.

Theroadt · 24/05/2025 00:08

Well lots of us think (1) it isn’t good but (2) you are overreacting and (3) your reaction isn’t teaching your daughter resilience. It’s clear you don’t like that view and it’s got you even MORE flustered, so there’s nog much more anyone can say 🤷🏻‍♀️

AiryFairy1 · 24/05/2025 00:09

amybabysa · 23/05/2025 23:59

> a million years ago

times have changed. Would you be happy a teacher throwing chalk at your child?

Show quote history

Honestly, if there was no lasting damage, and I knew that it definitely wasn’t thrown in an out-of-control rage, I wouldn’t mind too much. In my case it definitely made me sit up and pay attention.