Girls schools

[BadgerHawk]

Hey all,

My daughter has been allocated a place at a girls school as she didn’t get her first few preferences. She wasn’t keen on attending a girls school. I went to a mixed school (many moons ago and in a much quieter part of the country) so I am struggling to imagine what the dynamic is like? We did attend the open day and the head was very keen to tell us all the benefits of a girls only school.

Just wondering what your experiences of all girls schools were like for yourself or daughters? I probably have some preconceived ideas so would like to get a more balanced view.

We live in a part of london where after school violence and anti social behaviour isn’t unheard of. This tends to be at the mixed schools so maybe the allocation of a girls only school is a blessing in disguise as so far touch wood there hasn’t been any big incidents at this school.

Thanks in advance for any input!

That sounds very much like my DD's school. They work on a positive reward system for commendable behaviour, engaging in class discussions, taking on extra responsibilities etc. Dd has volunteered for various things which has also meant she's built up a really good rapport with the teachers. It is a FAR cry from where I went to (mixed school) but this may just be a sign of the times. My DS will go to a boys school in Sept and it will be interesting to compare the way they do things.

BTW, at the girls school they have an amazing sports department too and they encourage girls in both team sports for the school and in out of school sports, which is brilliant.

I went to a girls’ school and moved to a mixed school for the sixth form. All my friends’ children currently at all-girls schools say they plan to do the same. Personally I think that’s the way to do it - there are advantages (as people have said above) to single sex when you’re in the early years of secondary and need to build up your confidence, but I think it helps with the social aspect to have mixed sexes before university

I went to an outer London all girls comp in the early 00s and I bloody loved it. Genuinely the best years of my life.

it was a really diverse school and everyone just rubbed along nicely in their little groups. Yes there would be behavioural and bullying incidents from time to time but on the whole it was probably the most accepting environment I've ever been in.

Both my DDs started at an inner london girls comp with a very 'vibrant' reputation and have been extremely happy. Younger then moved for a very specific extra curricular reason to a mixed rural independent boarding school.

She's gutted to have left all girls behind- loves the new school otherwise but the boys dominate the space both physically and in terms of the airspace, the curriculum is more 'boy heavy' (history topics all war and no witch trials, she says) and there is far more pressure to have 'a boyfriend' and the debating team is skewed towards boys as well.

Of course, they are very different schools in lots of other ways, but as both girls are now in mixed environments because DD1 is now in mixed sixth form, they think back very fondly on being just with girls. We weren't looking for girls schools at all - they are just the norm where we are, but if we'd known how good the environment would be for them we'd have actively sought them out.

I had all my schooling (including primary) in girls school. I found it excellent - great friendships, no aggressive violent behaviour, everyone chose subjects they liked (no stereotypes around subjects). When I went to college/university, I had a great mix group of friends. Never had problems communicating with boys.
There is research which shows that single sex schools are better for girls. Ofcourse a lot depends on schools and the culture of the schools as well.

I went to a girls' school and really liked it. I now teach at a girls' school and it's lovely. The girls generally really like the fact that it's girls only. It's a very nice, supportive atmosphere with virtually none of the behaviour problems that other local schools have. Some of our students want to go to the mixed sixth form of our equivalent boys' school (where my ds goes), but they are often put off when they go to the open day, as they are used to a calmer, kinder environment!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c1w0l414rv4o.amp

This article suggests that girls schools maybe better for maths and science at least, although it doesn’t explicitly say that.

My daughter went from a mixed primary to a girls school, this is her first year an so far its been a great experience. she's had a few minor friendship issues mainly based I think around trying to keep her friendship with the girls from primary and making new friends. Apart from that she's had a great start all positive at parents meeting, I've noticed she's matured a lot.
The school itself I am very happy with, they have high standards for the students and i think the structure is what she really needed, They used to be a grammar school and still run the school the same way.
As previous posters have stated the school is very big on STEM and pushing the girls towards areas they may not be encouraged to look.
They have a whole laundry list of extra curricular activities which are encouraged.
This wasn't her 1st choice although it was mine I let her chose she didn't get her 1st choice which was mixed,
They did offer her a space at the mixed school 2 weeks into the term but she was already settled and happy where she is.

I went to an all girls school.

I agree with a lot of stuff that has been said, I think all of my peers benefitted from being able to speak up more, not exposed to damaging stereotypes (I literally did not know until I went to university that women were supposed to be less good at maths/science)

However, I can think of several of my peers who did have difficulty forming relationships with men and weren't very comfortable with men. A couple took a very long time to find a life partner, and one has never dated at all and did attribute this directly to going to a girls school. Now maybe they're wrong and it had nothing to do with going to a girls school but I don't know anyone who went to a mixed school with these issues.

I had sort of the opposite issue and put myself in a lot of risky situations at university because I found finally being around men and being found attractive so intoxicating. But my parents were quite overprotective.

I think you can mitigate this by encouraging activities that are mixed sex, especially as your DD doesn't have brothers.

Overall I think it sounds like the best option for your DD but I do think the social element is worth thinking about

The article compare to US, New Zealand, Australia and another also Singapore where predominantly schools are coed. So not a single sex issue but curriculum or teaching style. Maths in Singapore is not as wide in topics but more indepth focus so no one moves to another topic until it really gets embedded.

“A gender gap has opened up in favour of boys since the last report in comparative countries too, such as Australia, New Zealand and the United States.”

If these comparative countries have predominantly co-ed schools and their gender gap is opening up then it may be something to do with the co-ed environment of these lessons.
I am not saying it definitely is the case, I don’t have data to support this but those who have daughters in mixed schools do talk about boys dominating lessons.

“Jennie Golding, a co-author of the report from the Institute of Education at UCL, believes issues around confidence and a sense of belonging could be possible reasons why girls' performance has suffered.”

I am not sure what the co-author means by this.

Thanks for all the posts.

Me and DD have been talking loads about the pros of a girls school and spending time watching last years induction videos etc. Shes now really excited and said even if she was to get one of her higher preferences via waitlist (they automatically get added to higher preference schools list) that she’d probably stick with what she’s been offered.

So she’s gone from tears to excitement in a week which is a huge relief.

I genuinely appreciate everyone who took the time to share their experiences as it’s definitely helped me to navigate the conversations we’ve been having 😊

I like seeing girls deciding to have a kickaround with a football without having to fend off boys taking over. I like them not having to avoid certain areas on site because they're where groups of boys corner girls. I like them not being sent flying by boys charging through them like they aren't there or being physically overwhelmed by the Y10 boys. I like not having to constantly keep a watch for forcible touching. I like them not having to worry about having their bodies commented upon, judged and objectified for shits and giggles just for walking past or taking part in PE. I like girls being able to collect a sanitary towel and walk to the toilet without being in mortal fear that some boys will grab their bag and empty it out looking for the things and then starting howling with laughter that 'she's not a virgin because she's got tampax'. I like them not having to worry about boys and men for eight hours a day.

I also rather like not being barged through, shoved around and not having the potential for a huge 16 year old male corner me in a room with his mates after school because I'm just an average height woman who wouldn't stand a chance against them if they decided to get their own back for a detention. When I've worked in mixed schools, that's happened - never in a girls' school - and when they were more than happy to be physical with adult women, I think you can get an idea of what they're like with girls.

Thank goodness not all coed schools are like it or boys. Just as not all girls are mean or queen bees. It is all depends on the school culture and values.

DD loved it despite being friends with more boys in primary. She said it was like being with loads of sisters each day. She is 20 now and friends with girls she met in Year 7.