Girls schools

[BadgerHawk]

Hey all,

My daughter has been allocated a place at a girls school as she didn’t get her first few preferences. She wasn’t keen on attending a girls school. I went to a mixed school (many moons ago and in a much quieter part of the country) so I am struggling to imagine what the dynamic is like? We did attend the open day and the head was very keen to tell us all the benefits of a girls only school.

Just wondering what your experiences of all girls schools were like for yourself or daughters? I probably have some preconceived ideas so would like to get a more balanced view.

We live in a part of london where after school violence and anti social behaviour isn’t unheard of. This tends to be at the mixed schools so maybe the allocation of a girls only school is a blessing in disguise as so far touch wood there hasn’t been any big incidents at this school.

Thanks in advance for any input!

I think with any of these discussions experiences vary due to the child and the school. I was completely all girls educated and didn’t know anything different. Didn’t have any experiences of negativity and I know that we were free to choose whatever subjects we wanted without feeling like we had to ‘perform’ to stereotypes. Many girls did end doing STEM subjects as a result. Also when it comes to things like sports the schools can give far more opportunity as they can hire teachers that only cater to girls rather than splitting the teachers across boys and girls sports and dilute too much. And what happens at mixed schools is a lot of the girls all end up playing football rather than sports they would perhaps have preferred.

I find it odd that people think that if you go to an all girls school that you miss socialisation with boys. I didn’t find that at all. I suppose I had a brother but aside from that I didn’t even think about that when I went I university. I just took people as people and started normal relationships when I got there.

I actually hate the tide of schools now becoming mixed. I hear people say ‘but the real world is mixed’. But the fact is school is only 8 hours a day and only part of your life. I think people who go to single sex schools are very lucky.

I went to one and I hated it from start to end.

BUT it was the wrong school for me. It was run by nuns and we did not do 'boys' subjects. This was in the 1980s. It was bitchy central.

Were girls 'boy mad' well we went on a school holiday, on the ferry there was another school heading to the same place. Girls were literally running after the boys. Not every girl, but quite a few.

The question is will DD be happy there? Will she achieve and hopefully thrive?

DD moved from a mixed school to a girls school in year 10. That wasn’t the reason why we moved her but she says the difference is astonishing. There were a lot of very boisterous boys in her old school and I think it really did impact her learning. I’m kicking myself we didn’t choose the girls school for year 7.
The curriculum may also be different - in mixed schools it’s often skewed more towards boys interests.

I now work in IT, where I'm the only woman in the department, as has been the case for much of my career. I can assure you that being bitchy isn't a trait exclusive to women.

I think things like that are down to individual schools, single sex or mixed. Whatever the type of school, you have to look at whether that school will be a good school for your child, because even if there are overall trends around behaviour or academic achievement, that won't always make it the right place for a particular child.

(Though as I said, I grew up in a small rural town - there was, and still is, only one secondary school, so there was no choice unless you could afford to go private.)

BSG?

My experience of all-girls education is mixed. It's not perfect, but I think on balance the benefits outweigh the negatives.

On the plus side, there is definitely less disruptive behaviour (although not zero) and classroom activities are more accessible to the quieter and less confident pupils. There is better engagement with subjects that have been seen as "gendered" towards maleness eg Physics.

On the negative side, these schools can be really cliquey and the social side can be very difficult to navigate with the seething resentments and drama of some strong personalities who build themselves a "queen bee" position.

Have no fear of lack of interaction with boys. There will be interaction. These are teenagers with hormones. Friends have brothers. That side sorts itself out.

A girl who has been nurtured and supported and has developed confidence in an all-girls context is perfectly able to keep that confidence and continue to thrive out in a mixed-sex context after age 16.

I am not female (relevant here!) but I did teach at two private schools, one girls and one mixed.

i think the girls were far happier and freer in the girls school. The biggest example was use of outdoor space. The girls were always playing catch and as hoc games of netball in break and lunch. In the mixed school, the boys dominated the outdoor space and the girls just sat on benches and chatted.

And try as I might, it was really hard to get girls to do physics A level in the mixed school, whereas we had decent sized sets in the girls school.

Clearly this is anecdotal but research also backs up that girls do better in a single sex environment.

I guess what I struggle with is, does attending an all girls make it harder to socialise / work with boys/men later in life, for example at uni or work? She has two sisters so other than her adult male relatives she won’t really know any boys. I did say she might want to join some mixed clubs once she starts secondary but she said she’s not bothered.

My experience is that it really doesn't. There will still be plenty of opportunities to interact with boys both at school and outside of it. The bonus is you don't have to put up with them nicking all the science practical equipment or a teacher sitting you next to the most disruptive boy in class as a means of making him behave.

And on the cliques/ bitchiness front I have seen far more of that when my DDs were at a mixed school than single sex , because some girls will inevitably look to impress any boys by putting down other girls.

Depends on the school and DC. The single sex vs coed is not the factor but the school and the curriculum taught and the school culture.

I think the girls were far happier and freer in the girls school. The biggest example was use of outdoor space. The girls were always playing catch and as hoc games of netball in break and lunch. In the mixed school, the boys dominated the outdoor space and the girls just sat on benches and chatted.

This is exactly what I mean by boys' domination of space. We are moving area in order to dodge the super strict mixed academy that DD's primary feeds into (complete with exactly the kind of prison-style architecture you describe @BadgerHawk!)

This school actually teaches boys and girls separately in the core subjects, as they've cottoned on to the fact that boys and girls often have differing learning needs. But when we did the tour of the school last year, I noticed that there wasn't a single girl outside during break time. I asked our student guide whether break times were also segregated by sex, and she said 'Oh no, the girls just don't go out there - they sit in the cafe area'.

Obviously girls' schools, like all schools, will vary hugely, but I really like the fact that girls in a girls' school won't develop the notion that particular activities, subjects or parts of the school site aren't 'for them' just because they're female.

yeah I’m hoping for more sports opportunities too. The girls at her primary have one very small football team that’s mixed age (that she didn’t get into and was very upset) but the boys have quite a few teams, a few per year group 🤦🏽‍♀️ seemed so unfair.

My DD is retaking Y10 at a girls school having been to only mixed schools beforehand. She hated the idea at first but said she loves it. This is a normal state school as well. There's so much less boy drama as they're just not there. Yes there's bitchiness but that was present aplenty at both the mixed schools she was in before.
She's not cooped up in one tiny part of the playground. Her friends were playing tag on the grass yesterday in the sun, these are 15 year old girls. Classes full of girls involved in computer science, maths, physics. All the stereotypes are true I'm afraid and I wish I'd sent her there in y7 and not listened to all the negative propaganda about bitchy girls schools.

@badgerhawk ah no not BSG but we did look at that as well as we were thinking about moving to that area. Also a lovely school.

DD is at a state girls school in outer London too. I have been pleased with it - we both went to mixed schools and were unsure initially but both of us and DD loved the feel when we went round.

I also went to an all girls' school many years ago and loved it. The only bad thing I took from it was that I couldn't speak to boys without blushing at 16. If your DD has other hobbies, interests and friendship groups where she mixes with boys that could help with that, but honestly, I think single sex schools have a lot of benefits, for both boys and girls.

As others have said, I loved not having the distraction of boys and the difference was made very clear when I went to a mixed school for A Levels and the boys dominated the classrooms, despite getting lower grades. I feel if I had stayed in the all girls school I would have got at least a grade higher in every subject. At one point the boys were setting off the fire alarms to avoid certain lessons and blocking loos so they flooded. It was a completely different environment to the calm and adult one at my girls school. There was a bit of bitching but usually in lower sets where girls probably had other issues and were lashing out in the wrong place, but you get that everywhere. Girls in the top sets flew high and I think we were all quite shocked when we began work and realised men still controlled so much, despite not being particularly well equipped to do so and often with poor attitudes.

Echoing what the majority say - my DD went to a girls school, it was excellent. Being in an environment where they are the default rather than the ‘second sex’ has so many advantages. She had no problems whatever socialising with males - she did a very male dominated degree so lots of her uni pals were blokes.

I felt the same about single sex schools but ended up in a town where there was only a girls school, a boys school and a new mixed school which had terrible results. DD went to the girls school and it is excellent. She is very happy there and the girls do so much better academically with no boys to distract & disrupt classes.

I actually feel quite sad reading these comments that there are so few purely girls schools left. I also think all boys schools can be a really great environment as well but I think boys get the advantages whichever they attend.

my children went to a fabulous mixed primary state school. They were very happy there but it always irked me that they had a very limited sports budget and so all sport had to be mixed and what so what did they mainly play? Football and basketball! We asked if they could perhaps have a netball team and we were told none of the boys would do it so it wouldn’t work!

My dd is now in year 10 and she is SO much more confident in a girls school than she was in a mixed primary. Even in her not favourite subject she is doing really well as will happily ask questions etc. We've just had parents evening and another thing I noticed is how lovely and enthusiastic the teachers were...like they genuinely enjoy teaching there.

I went to a mixed school then all girls for 6th form. Much preferred the all girls

I went to all girls and it was great for me.

Having said that I was lucky to be in a nice form - one of the other forms was quite bitchy. I suspect that could happen in a mixed school too though.

DD is at a mixed school and she has mentioned disruptive behaviour from (some of) the boys. Occasionally wonder if we made a mistake although the school is great otherwise.

All these posts are making me wish I went to an all girls school tbh and how different my secondary years could have potentially been. I got on well with all the girls from all the different groups. When I think about times where someone said something very unkind it was usually a boy. It was their go to retaliation in a disagreement with a girl “yeah well you’re fat/ugly/frigid” obviously there were some lovely boys in my year group too who would never have made such comments even in a disagreement.

Thanks so much for the insight so far.

This school has so many extra curricular activities. The girls are encouraged to attend and can collect points which they can convert into prizes such as online vouchers etc which I think is pretty cool. At the open day the girls spoke very positively about this and it seemed that most engage with it. These posts have really made me realise that she’ll feel more able to access the clubs without feeling self conscious about gender stereotypes etc and certain clubs that are usually male dominated won’t be.

She is perhaps too young to realise what utter arseholes teenage boys can be. Also it's not like girls and boys interact all that much in the early years of secondary school anyway; friendship groups tend to be rigourously single-sex.

Doubtless some girls struggle socially in single-sex schools but there's no guarantee of being accepted by the other girls in mixed schools either.