Agreee @Oblomov25, they're so slippery and you obviously have been through this too 🙏.
Schools aren't on your side OP. They don't care, about you, your child, they give zero shits. They care ONLY about resources, reputation. That is all.
You've done great there so far. You have made them agree to something. But it requires going next level. If not now then shortly.
They are probably going to drag their heels here. They WILL leave out vital information about your child. This is a promise I make to you. How much it impacts her I don't know. It depends how big her struggles are compared to peers managing this in school.
Another poster here talked about an in school observation. When I went private and paid, the assessor suggested it because she knew it would show things no teacher will EVER tell you. That will be the same for you. That information gathered by an observation is helpful for 2 things:
- It completes the picture regarding the behaviour and impact in school that further corroborates the suspicion SHE'S ADHD (maybe more) and thus supports the diagnosis process.
- After diagnosis, you want clear concise clarity regards what the need in school is and how that can be helped. The school won't tell you that,their questionnaires won't. An observation by a professional you pay for, on your side, they'll show you and school everything she's struggling with ( if she is not aware and not masking, that helps for seeing things in the observation).
An education psychologist can also clearly assess her learning needs after diagnosis so that's a road to go down if you get the diagnosis sorted.
And don't let school find their own. If you can pay, YOU find the Ed Psychologist who works for YOU. They won't lie. School will. No I'm not paranoid, I've seen so much now, it's what is really happening across every school ATM.
During my child's own assessment observation, the assessor I paid for and sourced knew who to go talk to ( in the playground) what to ask,how to get info from them and what she saw.
Her report showed a child with a significant and I mean bloody significant amount of needs, socially, with peers,with focus, with staying still, with interaction with classmates with teachers,revealed tourettes tics I didn't even know he had!! I had no idea how much he was struggling.
And guess what, the school had been telling me for months ' all ok here, no problem '. They all do this. Your school will definitely do this. They might be nicely nicely the last week or so, don't be fooled.
I'd do whatever it takes to get an in school observation from YOUR professional,not theirs or whoever is on their books, but who is loyal to you and highly qualified and skilled. She's going to get the diagnosis I'm sure ( however long they drag it), but after that you will be left floundering. School will do nothing post diagnosis,I repeat NOTHING.
So then you're going to be looking at making them confirm how they will actually support her in school, now diagnosed, and what accomodation she will have for important exams that will be much harder for her compared to peers.
Don't let those arseholes whitewash you with platitudes. My senses are telling me that's what they're doing.
This sort of language I will write in a moment will help you get what you want. I'm writing an example of the sort of emails and language I now use and how magically school started falling over themselves to support after this style of Comms. Note, the absolute essential importance of the words disability and equality legislation.
Any lawyer will tell you what I am giving you here.
This below is my gift to you if you want it or want to take parts from it. ❤️
' Dear gaslighting twats ( obviously don't say that😆)
Thankyou for your continuing support in the assessment process for my daughter ( name); highly suspected ADHD/ASD.
As discussed, her learning needs, which I believe are based in disability and subject to Equality Act legislation, require assessment and appropriate accommodation in school so that she is able to achieve her full potential in the learning environment on a par with her non disabled peers.
I am grateful to have your full support in providing as much information as possible regarding my daughter's learning support needs to CAMHS as part of the ADHD/ASD assessment process.
I would really value confirmation with regards to how this process of assessment is progressing and will make contact regarding that within 4 weeks if I don't hear any more before then from you or CAMHS directly.
At some point, it will be beneficial to discuss how my daughter's learning support needs can and will be accomodated in school. I have sought legal advice regarding the feasibility of an IEP and how I can work together with school to ensure this process is applied post assessment for ADHD/ASD.
Once the ADHD/ASD assessment process is complete, we can discuss the specifics of something like an IEP and whether something like Educational Psychology involvement is needed to further establish needs in the learning environment and appropriate support in school according to the 4 SEN strands.
Thankyou again for your ongoing support in this process.
Kind regards ( stick that in your pipe you robbing arseholes, earn your money that I pay you for my child's education, peace out)
Mum
This probably feels too heavy,too much. But when the wheels fall off, ( they usually do), maybe this will help you. If not other mums reading this 🙏.