The school is terrible - WWYD?

[SleepForTheWeak]

I have two DDs, one of which is due to start Secondary school in August 2026, and one who will go there from August 2029.

We live quite rurally. There is only one secondary school in the area. The next one is 45 mins away but it's a small school at capacity.

Unfortunately, the school in our area is terrible. They have really struggled to get a head teacher since lock down, and teachers in general in fact. The exam results are below average and the options are limited. Teachers are off sick long term. Children are having to do most of their work on google classroom supervised by a sub teacher. There's a lot of behavioural problems in the school.

I'm worried about our DDs going there. They are both bright children who under normal circumstances would no doubt do very well at secondary school. I'm worried though that the lack of teachers, guidance and options will have a detrimental impact on their future.

I just don't know what our options are though. Both DH and I have good careers that we love which aren't transferable. DH is on track to becoming the MD of the company he works for and we have both worked for our companies for 15-20 years. Our DDs are happy here, it's a quiet and safe community, and they have strong roots here. It's a lovely town, and the kids have good opportunities and activities outwith school.

We could supplement with tutors if necessary, but even they are few and far between.

The next town/city which has an option of schools is 3 hours away.

I think we will have to bite the bullet and see how DD1 gets on before considering uprooting our whole life - but it's something that I find myself worrying about a lot. I have a lot of friends with children in the secondary school and I have never heard any positive feedback regarding it.

But I'm interested - WWYD?

In your position I would look for a good online tutor for maths and other key subjects. It can make a huge difference

Do you think they will still love living there when they are teenagers? My niece can't wait to leave for university because she is sick of all the time wasters with no ambition at her rural school. And sick of having very few friends who are interested in actually working. Most of her friends are people from other towns who she has met through extra curricular activities.

I would definitely move. The “lovely friends” from primary school stuff doesn’t always last and lots of kids have to make a new start for secondary school. They will cope. The school sounds shocking.

Send them to the school but have tutors for core subjects?

I'm really not clear why you wouldn't just move close to the school 45 minutes away. It's that, or home school, or give your kids the gift of a shit education.

If you have such a great sense of community where you live, what do the other parents think about the state of the secondary school? You can’t be the only ones. Why not form/join some sort of parental action group to push for change/ better standards? if the others don’t care, maybe the community is not as great as you think it is.

And what about the teachers in your DDs primary? Do they have any views or suggestions? They can’t like the idea of the kids they have taught so well being at a sub-standard secondary.

Other parents think the same - but I think they are all like me in that they don't feel they have that many options without huge upheaval.

There's a parent committee that are trying to address some of the issues I believe but I don't really know the ins and outs of it.

There's no towns between here and there. A couple of villages with a scatter of houses, but no actual towns.

Even the town I'm talking about is smaller than the one we are in (which is small) so local amenities aren't great.

There's no train line, and no regular bus routes either (there are buses but they wouldn't tie in with school/work finishing).

Neither DH or I want to leave out jobs. We are both on good career pathways that we have worked on for 15-20 years, in a secure industry that we love. Our jobs are safe and we get paid fairly well, so it's not just as easy and moving and finding new jobs.

Yes, I see what you mean about the friends as I didn't really stay friends with anyone who moved to secondary with me.

However it's maybe slightly different here due to the nature of where we live and the amount of extra curricular activities both DDs do - they will know about 80% of the children in their year.

I'm not ruling it out completely though, I think it's something we should at least look into and see what the options are.

The school isn't great at all. Don't get me wrong, there's very little violence or crime and I've not heard of any massive drug issues etc but the quality of education is sub standard.

Well then send your daughters to the terrible school. Then you get to keep your great jobs and great community and great town.

Well, there you go then. Step one, get in touch with the group and find out more. You have the luxury of a bit of time before either daughter has to go there, and even longer before either of them has important exams. A lot could change in that time.

It also sounds, reading between the lines, like there is one single employer in your area, who pays well to attract people to an otherwise challenging part of the country to live in and retain them once they get there. Maybe that employer also has an interest in the local educational provision and might be willing to get involved eg by way of sponsorship of some sort of school facility/post?

Finally, it sounds like you earn well, so that means you should be able to supplement your daughters’ education with tutoring, which can be done online. You may have to accept that you have to pay from day one to supplement their learning with online (but one-to-one) tutoring. Best to plan for that from the get go so they are aware they’ll need to be doing schoolwork outside school hours, in return for being able to continue living where they and you want to live. If they see it as normal from day one it will be easier than if you suddenly realise they are failing and have to bring in reinforcements.

But step 1, speak to as many current parents as you can.

@HotCrossBunplease

Thank you - there is a parents Facebook page which might be the easiest way to get a broad spectrum opinion.

There aren't many tutors in the area but I hadn't thought of online tutoring so that could definitely be something we do.

There's not just one single employer in our area - but this is the only town they employ in. WFH isn't an option.

Beware of basing your entire perception on a Facebook group. These groups always attract vocal minorities. Don’t your daughters have any friends with older siblings at the school? What about colleagues whose kids go there? By all means use the Facebook group as one part of your information-gathering but not as a substitute for real-life conversations with real people. And I don’t mean passing superficial chats I mean asking someone to sit down with you and talk it through in detail.

@HotCrossBunplease yes I've spoken to many parents and a couple of colleagues with secondary school aged children. It's all been pretty negative.

However, none of them have taken the step to take them out of the school.

Well, presumably that’s because they are tied to the area in the same way that you are. The question is, what CAN be done other than moaning?

I don’t really get it, you seem very set on this idea of a great community but you also sound like you don’t really identify with how the other parents think.

It sounds like the parent committee needs to go to the papers and do one of these "our lovely island/rural community needs teachers - want a slower pace of life, with beautiful surroundings and a community who will appreciate you.... come and live here," media stories. It sounds like a nice place and a normal school with a lack of teachers.

Can you contact the universities who do teacher training and try to get some interest from the graduates, or at least placements.

I do know teachers in our city who are unhappy and I can imagine that a school with very little bullying, less pupils and the kind of environment where you recognise the parents in the street would be very appealing.

I'd stay where you are. Schools generally give online links to the subject they are covering when it gets to GCSE/A Level and right the way along for maths anyway - it just depends if the student actually makes use of them. Most schools probably use Heggerty anyway. So many great resources for maths & if you have some knowledge yourself even to start with, that really counts whichever school they go to

My kids went/are at underachieving state school. As long as they are happy & have good friends, then as your kids are bright, they will learn independent learning & motivation (invaluable for later life) and will benefit from contextual offers from Uni (which they will probably beat hands down if they are bright and in any way focused).

You sound a happy family right where you are. That counts for a lot!!!

Travelling for hours each way everyday is exhausting - don't do it to them. That's time they can spend at sport, with friends, getting homework out of the way. And finally, don't stress about schooling or push them. Parental support is great, but pushing them is counter productive, they'll either switch off or never get out of the habit of relying on you. That's my 2 pennies worth anyway. All best.

My kids are/have been at underachieving rural secondary schools. My eldest got a top set of GCSEs, my middle child is thriving. I would try it.

Try tutoring groups on Facebook. Most tutors are working online now and it’s just as effective for secondary age students as face to face.

Online tutoring and courses are brilliant.

My DD (15) has one extra-curricular that she has done with a school in Los Angeles for nearly 4 years now.

She has tutors in different things (both school and extra curricular) all over the world as it works for both timing, cost and because a lot of the lessons are also recorded so she can look back if she needs to revise something. It's also given us lots more choice so we can find teachers she really clicks with and who are very well qualified rather than just what is available locally.

Have used for everything from music theory, to maths, to drama.

There are lots of tutor portals where you can read reviews and find the right people. Some you pay direct, and some via a company. All very easy to manage.

I would not move, sounds like you have a lovely life apart from concerns with the school. Use the local school, do what you can to shake things up, but most of all you will need to invest time and probably money in ensure your DDs have an aspirational approach to learning and access to resources that the school is unlikely to offer.

That might mean online tutoring, particularly by experienced qualified teachers who know what the SQA expects at every stage.
It might mean looking at residential summer schools at universities or programmes offered around the country, depending on DDs interests - space schools, science, drama etc, so they are exposed to other strong students with similar interests and a range of different teaching techniques.

Find out about every possible widening participation programme that your DDs/others from their school might be eligible. LEAPS is likely to be one, but every university has a different approach to these things - make use for your DDs but also make sure the school is aware of everything they can access for their pupils, a lot of schools are seemingly unaware that their pupils may qualify for additional support programmes or lower university entry requirements. Do not wait until your DDS are considering university before finding out about these things.
When your DDs are starting to make subject choices, make sure you understand entry requirements for universities to ensure they are properly informed choices, about the number of subjects at each sitting, the pre-requisites for particular degrees etc. You will need to do more work than parents at better performing schools might have to, but all for the benefit of your DDs. I would probably start going to Open Days earlier than normal to get answers sooner rather than later.

I completely understand your worries about this school. I went to this type of school and taught for many years in this type of school. My own DC went to a high school that had its issues. What I have learned is that there will always be a cohort of committed students with supportive parents who get top grades. Especially as you are prepared to support with tutors. Believe me, online tutors are not in short supply because there is an exodus of highly experienced teachers leaving the classroom to set up as tutors.

I would move house to somewhere with better school options.
By the time your daughters are 14 they will hate living somewhere where the only way to get to anywhere else is 2hrs driving on bad roads. By the time they are adults if you are still there they will have to choose between pursuing the university and career they want with hardly ever seeing you, or staying where they can see you and having vastly reduced career options.

Find somewhere to live that has a train station at least. Then there's lots more options for schools in other towns along the same train line.

Given how happy you all are where you now live, and the kids' great friendships and extracurricular activities, home ed seems worth considering. It offers great opportunities for bright ambitious kids, as they can work at their own level and study whatever interests them.

It's unusual but not impossible to home ed with both parents working full-time away from home. Quite likely even when they are teens you wouldn't want to leave them on their own all day every day. What about hiring a nanny or using a childminder, at least part of the time? Just someone to keep them company and keep a bit of an eye on them. You don't have to go the whole hog with a highly qualified full-time tutor 30 hours a week. They could do some independent learning combined with some online school, or use some in-person or online tutors.