The school is terrible - WWYD?

[SleepForTheWeak]

I have two DDs, one of which is due to start Secondary school in August 2026, and one who will go there from August 2029.

We live quite rurally. There is only one secondary school in the area. The next one is 45 mins away but it's a small school at capacity.

Unfortunately, the school in our area is terrible. They have really struggled to get a head teacher since lock down, and teachers in general in fact. The exam results are below average and the options are limited. Teachers are off sick long term. Children are having to do most of their work on google classroom supervised by a sub teacher. There's a lot of behavioural problems in the school.

I'm worried about our DDs going there. They are both bright children who under normal circumstances would no doubt do very well at secondary school. I'm worried though that the lack of teachers, guidance and options will have a detrimental impact on their future.

I just don't know what our options are though. Both DH and I have good careers that we love which aren't transferable. DH is on track to becoming the MD of the company he works for and we have both worked for our companies for 15-20 years. Our DDs are happy here, it's a quiet and safe community, and they have strong roots here. It's a lovely town, and the kids have good opportunities and activities outwith school.

We could supplement with tutors if necessary, but even they are few and far between.

The next town/city which has an option of schools is 3 hours away.

I think we will have to bite the bullet and see how DD1 gets on before considering uprooting our whole life - but it's something that I find myself worrying about a lot. I have a lot of friends with children in the secondary school and I have never heard any positive feedback regarding it.

But I'm interested - WWYD?

My family live in a rural Scottish area with a very similar sounding school. They have supplemented their children's education with online tutors and the parents have done a lot of work with their children themselves. They drive to local big city (2 hours) at weekends to do extra curricular activities. Other people in the community send their children to boarding school during the week. Rural Scottish schools are in a bad way, unfortunately.

Presumably you looked at local schooling options before you decided to settle where you are?

I would move if the local school is terrible. Of your children are quite shy/sensitive they don't sound like they would thrive in a crappy school.

If the next one is 45 minutes away , could you move that way and commute 20/25 minutes each for work.

If the local school was that bad I would have to move. No amount of tutoring will help with student behaviour, staff moral and retention, the offer of residential school trips and after school clubs amongst other things - if all
of these things are good the students are generally happy and do well (better than they would in a bad school anyway). However bright your children are, being in a bad school could impact them socially and emotionally especially if they are quiet/shy.

Local school plus tutors. If the school is on the doldrums now just hope that there is an intervention between now and when your older DD starts.

No I didn't - I was 21 and kids weren't on my radar 🙈. My husband is from here and not lived elsewhere.

Also, the school hasn't always been as bad. It's never been AMAZING, but has gone downhill since lockdown

Just to put the commuting in perspective, I live on the edge of London. My DD and I commute an hour to school each way (she attends the school where I teach) and this kind of commute is absolutely normal round here.

Obviously it's convenient to have public transport transport available but plenty of people drive too if they need to get to work after.

What are the odds of a placement request being successful? Can you look them up?

Both of our DDs are fairly outgoing and confident.

However, it's hard to say what they'll be like as teenagers. Hopefully the same. They both have a desire to do well, so hopefully that continues as well.

They would both be incredibly upset at the thought of moving away.

They both compete in different sports which they are doing so well with, and play regularly with the local football ball teams. They both get musical tuition both in and out of school too and have a great group of friends and family nearby.

As mentioned previously, there are a couple of tiny villages between here and the other school. We are talking a couple dozen houses at most, no food shops etc. It would be a bold move to a school that might also be going the same way as ours (if rumours are to be believed)

I thought we had ages to think about it but it's really crept up on us. Soon DD1 will be in her last year of primary 😢

Yes I think talking to the other school and maybe locals might be a good move.

Poor DD1 gets horribly travel sick too, between here and the next school she can easily be sick twice without medication. They are awful windy roads. We travel often and she's sick even if she's taken her tablets sometimes

Poor child :( I was just like that although I grew out of it eventually.

If they have lots of friends through extracurricular activities then online school could be a good solution

I was the same. Although it's just unfortunate where we live as you can't leave without 2 hours of bad roads 🙈

How would that work? Wouldn't one of us have to be here with her? DH and I are out of the house 9am - 5pm. WFH is not an option.

If you can’t stretch to private, I’d move.
If your dh is an MD, how is his job non transferable? How niche is the industry?

Weirdly that isn't unusual regarding not passing higher maths prelims. My children go to what is considered to be a decent enough school (Scotland too) and everyone uses tutors for maths. The quality of maths teaching is atrocious and most pupils fail their higher prelim but results do tend to improve dramatically for the final exam
I would expect bright pupils to be able to do well in any school with some additional tutoring and support at home (using past papers etc and helping them understand marking schemes is key)

Don't want to say too much - but fairly niche.

He's not MD, but that is hopefully where his career will end up all going well

Also - none of us really want to move away from the town we are in. As mentioned, it's very safe, and beautiful. Huge sense of community etc.

It's whether or not trying to improve their secondary education by moving away will have a worse effect on their mental/social wellbeing.

Its hard because without a crystal ball I have no idea what the best thing to do is

Honestly, I home ed my dd because the local secondary school is awful. Admittedly, our case was more nuanced which made us take that decision. It doesn't sound like your situation will allow that.

If you did decide to give the school a go then you may need to consider tutors, etc. That said, you can't get around the bad behaviour issue unless the school has a zero tolerance policy on bullying.

Have you visited the school so you can a feel for the place? I found that very illuminating

From what I've heard, no such bullying policy exists in the school. And if it does, it's not adhered to.

I've been in the school many times for a few reasons. It's a nice building, only a few years old, so isn't run down or anything.

What do the girls themselves think? They may want to stay with their friends and have private tutors input. I had to move schools and counties after my standard grades and did not do as well as I would have but not too badly. I made new friends and it was fine but I am mostly in tough with my old friends. I will say that if you move do it from S1 as I found the curriculum taught in both schools was different and that’s where I fell down. I moved after S4 and S5 year was affected. I didn’t stay on for S6 as started my career pathway.

I am really happy with my kids school and they are very happy going there, but it gets a lot of negative commentary locally. I don't really understand it as I've found the teaching high quality and I'd say my kids are thriving there and working above their expected level. All this to say, I'd give the local one a go. People are quick to be negative and people can have vastly different experiences in the same school. If they fall in with good friends it can be very positive.

Before uprooting everyones lives I'd see for yourselves how you find it. You can supplement with home workbooks or make other life changes then if needed.

They would HATE the idea of moving away.

They don't even like us taking about replacing the car 🤣.

Ok, from reading yours and others' more recent posts, it sounds as if you definitely shouldn't move and give the school a try. Especially if your kids are bright and confident I'm sure they will be fine and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about!

I'd move house and get my DH to commute. Education is so important.