Where do we stand on girls not being allowed to go to the loo?

[JandamiHash]

DD is 11 in year 7 and I reckon she will be staring her periods soon. Lots of signs and some cramping. Shes really nervous because her lessons are an hour long and they aren’t allowed to go to the toilet. She says everyone is always told no.

My periods were so heavy when I started mine aged 14 that I would have leaked everywhere if my lessons had been any longer than the 35 minutes. Even now when I get my period one days 1 and 2 I need to change sanitary towel at least once an hour.

What is the consensus about this? DD is my eldest so secondary is all new to me. Is this standard? I do get that gen school will have piss takers but do they think about girls in these situations at all?

Your dad sounds delightful.

I mean if there is an issue you will be able to write to the school and get special measures. As a school wide rule I don’t think it’s that unreasonable to tell teenagers to go before classes and in between.

You need to establish what the school policy is on this. A child saying "no one is ever allowed to go" usually translates into "we've had to stop all the time wasters automatically being let go because it's disruptive"

Hate it. It’s ridiculous. DD’s school actually lock the toilet doors during lesson time and then only open two of the toilet in the entire school during break times.

The first few posts have good advice - do all that.

All I can say re the human rights aspects is you do not want your children at a school that is overly lenient about toilet visits because a) no-one will be getting much education as the teachers will be supervising that, not teaching b) the corridors will be unsafe and c) a small but persistent minority will be getting up to bad stuff in the toilets.

I've been in teaching 15 years and can assure you all absolutely no-one enters teaching to be the toilet police!

Also I don't need to read the thread to know someone will have said none of this happens in private schools, grammar schools etc.

Yes. Yes it does.

Kids are kids!

I 'applied' for a toilet for my DD12 and it was rejected based on the fact that there is no medical grounds.

She was coming home with wet pants frequently.

*pass

And why do you think they've had to do that ?

I would just see how it goes. She might not have heavy periods. If a child is having to change a pad every 35 mins then please take them to the GP as they don’t have to suffer like that.

Why were they wet? Could she not go on break time/ was she anxious about going in busy times?

I've been in teaching 15 years and can assure you all absolutely no-one enters teaching to be the toilet police!

No, but there are plenty who enter with a power trip. I’ve also been in teaching for a long time and have come across a fair few. By no means the majority, but certainly enough for it to be an issue.

I’m a teacher. I am very aware of the issues with toilets and the disruption it can cause. That doesn’t make it ok to lock the toilet doors and leave 8 cubicles open during a 20 minute break for a school with over 500 girls in it.

It's not acceptable. If children need the loo they should be allowed to go.

@GretchenWienersHair well all I can say is there's no-one in my particular school on a power trip.

But we can't let kids smash or deface the toilets nor do we want them vaping or worse in there.

What parents need to understand is that the toilet access issues have got very little to do with students actually needing the toilet.

Sad for students who need the toilet of course.

Schools need to think a bit deeper and get to the root of the problem which in my mind is that more and more kids are becoming increasingly disengaged with the education system. This is evident in this very topic as well as other issues schools are facing.

Schools are constantly 'thinking a bit deeper' about how to solve their various problems. Schools don't get to revamp the curriculum and set the GCSE syllabus. However much time and effort we put into trying to make lessons accessible, interesting and useful, and trying to engage disaffected learners (why wouldn't we - success would benefit us and our results), I'm afraid a large number of students would always rather be elsewhere.

It was ever thus. There is almost nothing which would make some teenagers rather be doing equations or French grammar (however engagingly presented) than be scrolling TikTok, vaping or chatting to their mates.

I find it astonishing that so many people seem to think that teachers and schools just think 'Oh well' and are not constantly working hard to improve things.

The Education Minister could be thinking about that, certainly.

Plus it's been 15 years now since the Coalition cancelled Building Schools for the Future.

Newer academies have got better designed toilets in some cases.

The majority of the pre 2010 buildings are direly in need of a refurb.

I think it's tricky when schools are so big. As a teenager I would have been mortified to talk about my period or urinary issues with teachers that I didn't know well. There's no way I'd have been getting out a red pass in front of my peers.

I was one of those that just didn't drink anything at school and luckily didn't suffer period poverty so I could wear some "just in case" protection. Period pants might be a good solution in some cases.

@GretchenWienersHair so if you're a teacher how do you propose stopping the vaping, vandalism, assault, bullying, drug taking etc that happens ?

It is a really tricky issue.
I suspect the whole education and school system needs a overhaul. Complete restructure of buildings.

Maybe every classroom could have its own toilet. Cleverly designed and positioned to feel safe for everyone. Ask students what would help. The ones with medical issues/ most need for the toilet could have the most say in designing them.

There will always be kids who want to disrupt. The ideal would be for them to be part of a school that they genuinely care for and want to be part of. I know there isnt the funding to help with this.

I missed lots of school because of my period. It's still a issue for me now at work. I much prefer to work from home. Period pants have made life a lot easier.

Maybe schools could do surveys to identify those that need the most support. There was no way I felt comfortable in school to talk to anyone.

There isn't the funding to completely redesign every classroom in the country, that simply isn't going to happen.

When I was at school, we started at 8.45, had a morning break, lunch break and afternoon break. Finished at 3.45.

DD had a similar routine, she's 26.

In my opinion if a person routinely needs the lavatory more than every couple of hours, there is a health problem. If a pad needs changing every half hour or hour and floods and leaks, medical advice should be sought.

I went to a super grammar in the 70s. I often didn't use the lavatories when I was there because they were so decrepit. One lavatory block was in the playground and had the same streak of menstrual blood up the wall from 1971 until 1976. Unless I had my period I hung on until I got on the train on the way home when the lavatories in the old fashioned slam door slows were cleaner.

DD went to an elite cofe girls school in y7 and 8. Again the lavatories were filthy and she did much the same as I had done, except she also avoided the lavatories because that's where the nasty girls hung out. When she transferred to the independent sector, the lavatories were clean and it was generally a nicer environment all round.

DD is now a secondary school teacher. I just asked about using the toilet and she rolled her eyes and said if there was a pastoral reason she usually asked that child to run an errand for her. She said it wasn't something that was an issue in her classes. She also said that since September when a poor head was replaced with a good head, the toilets have been cleaned.

I remember not being allowed to the loo at school, aged 14, and I had my period.
my teacher wouldn’t let me go as I guess she thought I was going to have a chat/loiter/fag, which was fair enough as usually I would 😂

I went up to her desk and discreetly showed her the san pro in my hand (on advice of my friend) and she let me go.
had a quick fag in the loo obviously.

No one should have to disclose the reason for needing the toilet, they're all private reasons. If children had more autonomy, choice and free time during the day then the toilet wouldn't be seen as a place to escape/socialise etc. It wouldn't be so enticing.

Fern95 - What if your "private reason" is to fulfil your budding arsony leanings? Or to give someone a bj?