Where do we stand on girls not being allowed to go to the loo?

[JandamiHash]

DD is 11 in year 7 and I reckon she will be staring her periods soon. Lots of signs and some cramping. Shes really nervous because her lessons are an hour long and they aren’t allowed to go to the toilet. She says everyone is always told no.

My periods were so heavy when I started mine aged 14 that I would have leaked everywhere if my lessons had been any longer than the 35 minutes. Even now when I get my period one days 1 and 2 I need to change sanitary towel at least once an hour.

What is the consensus about this? DD is my eldest so secondary is all new to me. Is this standard? I do get that gen school will have piss takers but do they think about girls in these situations at all?

Oh and I went to dr aged 13 for heavy periods after an incident in choir being sat too long during a concert. He told me not to worry it would all sort itself out after I had a baby

Most people most of the time can go an hour or so between loo breaks (I don’t think lessons even double lessons tend to go beyond an hour and a half or so?). So I do t think it’s unreasonable for that to the expected rule. Occasionally someone needs to go in the lesson, but really this so few and far between and needs to be treated as an exception. As a pp said, you can generally tell who is playing up.

"DD is 11 in year 7 and I reckon she will be staring her periods soon. Lots of signs and some cramping. Shes really nervous because her lessons are an hour long and they aren’t allowed to go to the toilet."

Sorry this idea kids are never allowed is total bullshit. School policy where I work is no toilet unless they have a toilet pass but the following sis what actually happens

1. Year 7 and 8 girls quite commonly get temporary toilet passes when their periods start. Write a note or phone the head of year to arrange it.

2. any girl that comes on unexpectedly can get permission to go. Usually this involves asking them for a quick word outside class and asking did you forget to go at lunch / break or is there another reason? Many girls are confident enough to say they are on their period / write notes on paper or similar. The class teacher then has to using an on call system to get a duty staff member to take them. ( Only staff/ office staff have toilet keys

3). Even boys / girls that are desperate to go can get permission to be taken. Realistically you have to ask them to "wait 10 minutes" / lecture them about going at break and lunch because if not when the staff member turns up about 6 other kids want to go to.

You cant let everyone who asks go because most just want to leave lesson meet up with friends

I am in my 50s and have bladder issues. If I need to go I can't wait. There will be others the same including teens

If all the kids used the toilets appropriately, there wouldn't be any issues.

In my school, girls often have toilet passes. Saying they're on their period is also a magic pass.

Sadly, I can't use this for myself, in spite of having a weaker bladder thanks to 2 kids, and having random peri periods so I have to wait for break or lunch time. Usually 2 hours, max, unless I've had duty, I'm which case it's about 4 or 5 hours.

It's always interesting to see which students are always desperate to go to the toilet and which ones quietly get on with it. My own dd has recently started her periods and seems to be coping fine.

The trouble is, lots of kids resent using break time to go to the toilet. Many other kids resent having to do work on lessons and prefer to go for a little skive. Toilet breaks are great for this. Especially if you've planned to meet your mate there.

I've been teaching almost a quarter of a century, btw. No child has ever had an accident in my lessons, despite loudly claiming they will, but I very nearly have.

"I am in my 50s and have bladder issues. If I need to go I can't wait. There will be others the same including teens"

This is rare for teenagers and the "others the same" can get toilet passes with any kind of medical evidence of their condition.

Teaching Staff in theirs 50 would also need to go at least 2 hours between toilet visits and often longer...

In my experience students say they are on their period, they have women's issues or "I really Need to go" with an emphasis on the need and have never known a teacher refuse. Failing that a letter for a toilet pass.

And there's really no excuse for kids to be scared of toilets in my school- we have staff on duty and break and lunch. Those toilets are run better than my local council.

Yes, a school near us had the brilliant idea of handing out bright red "period passes" to menstruating girls in front of their male classmates.

Secondary schools are increasingly becoming a hostile environment for girls, unfortunately. The only thing you can do is advocate for your daughters as much as you can, and make sure they know they have your support.

Yes, a school near us had the brilliant idea of handing out bright red "period passes" to menstruating girls in front of their male classmates.

Also calling bullshit/ disinformation on this.

Kids have all sorts of passes, time out, mental health passes to be taken to time out rooms. These are always handed out by head of year in private and kids told to discreetly show it to staff.

These are not distributed in front of peers whether male or female.

And very often it goes like this:
Miss, can I go the toilet?
No, you've just had break/ will have break in 30 minutes.
Yeah, but... period pass (smile, head tilt, pause).
shrug off you go then.

SLT: why did you let 3 girls go to the toilet during period 3 today?
🙄

I was ten and still in junior school when I started. Mum gave me a letter to give my teacher (MORTIFYING), basically instructing her that if I asked to go she was to allow me - or mum would be down that school like a greyhound out of a trap.

My daughter is at a private school. This hasn't happened to her ever. She has always been allowed to go to the loo whenever she has asked.

A long time ago now, but at my all girls grammar we certainly didn't go to the toilet during lessons unless there was an emergency. I only remember going during a lesson once in seven years.

I don't even remember if it was a rule or if we all just knew that was the expectation! I suppose some of my peers must have had heavy periods but I wasn't aware of anyone vanishing off during lessons so they must have dealt with it.

Incidentally we did still have vandalism in the toilets. They were set on fire once (happened during break time though).

My friend has a child with very heavy periods and the poor thing started in primary. She definitely doubles up with a towel and period pants.

She can do what I did and just walk out and go to the loo. At 14 my maths teacher said I couldn’t go, my period was heavy and I could feel it leaking. He gave me a punishment exercise o refused and eventually my Dad blew his top at them.

“Im a secondary school teacher and I’ve no idea why 11-16 year olds feel the need to trash toilets at any opportunity but they do. I don’t remember it being an issue when I was at school not sure when it became a problem”

Schools need to think a bit deeper and get to the root of the problem which in my mind is that more and more kids are becoming increasingly disengaged with the education system. This is evident in this very topic as well as other issues schools are facing.

"Schools need to think a bit deeper and get to the root of the problem which in my mind is that more and more kids are becoming increasingly disengaged with the education system"

Schools try and address this all the time but have to work within government guidelines/ curriculum ) inspection frameworks so yabu

And this is why mine didn't go to high school.
Too many rules and regulations.

I used to sign their school journal bathroom and time left lesson. If anyone challenged them about where they were going they had journal with my signature and time left lesson. Obviously I'd only let students go 1 at a time and if only 5 mins of lesson left I'd ask if they could wait but generally I'd let them go. They were supposed to go in between lessons but sometimes they just needed to go.

I agree with what you’re saying. I am an ex teacher myself. Education has become a political issue with far too much government power. One of the problems is though that too many SLTs don’t speak up. They go along with the ridiculous nonsense related to attendance, league tables and inspections like a bunch of sycophants. I do not understand why more HTs don’t speak up about why so much of modern education juts is not working.
I appreciate this would take guts and bravery but until nothing changes nothing changes. SLTs in schools need to stick their necks out more for children.

@picturethispatsy they need to push uphill, document and be vocal at advocating for both the disruptive kids who are telling everyone something by their behavior and for the quiet ones who should have reasonable access and safety within the school site.

use period pads in period knickers

DD2 had UTIs again on starting secondary school as she did on starting primary school, and periods and toilet policy definitely contributed to school avoidance and missing most of her education in Y7-10.

I think the education system needs a total rethink if it is failing lovely bright happy girls like DD2.

presumably you spoke to school about your son’s uti and arranged a letter from his gp and you are saying that they still wouldn’t let him go during lessons?

I call BS.