Did I make a mistake choosing DD secondary school!

[Newmoon8]

DD is currently in year 9 and has an EHCP due to a mild/ moderate developmental language disorder. I spent quite a bit of time researching, reading and asking for opinions about school. We chose a school further away, 50 min door to door.

It is a girls school. We chose it as it seems like a nurturing school, behaviour mostly ok and we felt she will get the best support there.

DD has not been entirely happy since start of year 9; she feels the commuting is not worth it, feel a bit left out as all the girls live locally. She feels there is nothing exciting going on at school, eg international trips, the feels is an ok school but doesn’t really excel at anything.

As parents we don’t hear much from the school; the reports a bit useless, have no clue what her targets are and what levels she is working at. I think there is one person in SENCO for 400 girls with additional needs. We do chase the school but they appear understaffed, overwhelmed. They do seem to have lots of people in the office as every time I call someone different answer.

It is an 8 form school.

I feel a bit down and like I made a mistake sending her there. There is an outstanding school near by, but it is coed, occasional disruption in class and quite strict so didn’t feel it was right and that she wasn’t ready at 11 for that big move,

There is another where her best friend went to massive coed school; excellent music, arts, drama; however the feedback is that there is basically no support for kids with additional needs; they are completely overwhelmed. I think the school is good if your kids is excellent at something but not so good for the rest.

Thanks for reading. I got it off my chest

No school is perfect but it might be that a different school now would tick more important boxes for you. Does you daughter want to move?
I do think commuting time (when it is substantial) is a big ask of children.

Thank you; yes, we are looking at moving for year 10. Perhaps things change and what it was important on those first years is not that important anymore. The school she wants to go to is selective; hopefully she will get in but if she doesn’t not sure what we will do. The big school her friend is at already started GCSEs. Will have to decide depending what happens I guess.

It’s not clear (sorry) if the commute is your DD - walk, bus, walk; or is it you driving her? If the latter then that is a long way (for reference, a 50-min drive for my DC, even at rush hour, would take us out of our city and well into the next county – let’s say 30 miles at least – whereas if they did a walk-bus-walk to a very popular school in the village up the road, it would actually take them at least 40 mins (the bus stop is a bit of a walk away even tho we live in a city), even tho it's only about four miles away, if that.

What I am saying is, if your DD's commute is actually 20-30 miles, then it's not surprising she is feeling there is no one local. That can be a big factor as independence becomes more important.

But don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s hard to weigh all the factors up.

If I were you I would make a big effort to chase targets and current levels – is the information really not supplied all year? Do you get any kind of report?

How was DD in years 7 and 8?

How would she feel about a possible move to the nearby school? Would it have a space (not sure how it works with EHCP – can you rename your choice of school?). If you are going to move her I would deffo do it now before GCSE courses start.

Just wondering if you already posted on this subject as I'm pretty sure I can identify several of the schools.

If not, then there was another parent in your exact same position.

If your DD is in Y9 and any of the schools do a 3 year GCSE programme then don't try and move for Y10 as she will have missed far too much.

Also bear in mind that once you get into GCSE years, the amount of trips go down hugely as they don't want children missing class. DD does Geography and had subject associated field trips and it has been a pain doing catch up around those.

International trips also come at a big cost, and very few children in any school realistic go on those. DD's school does a big French trip for Y8 every year, but not other year groups.

Yes I agree, international trips would be massively low down on my priority list. My DC did go on some and remember them fondly but it’s not the be all and end all - and they will become less common IMHO as it’s such a lot to ask of overburdened staff (speaks from experience)

Commute is 10min in the car, 20 on the train, 15min walk after train. We drive her to the station and pick up from station

Ah so that sounds like quite a long way. Are you perhaps quite rural? Again where we live that commute would take you to a school in the next big city which would be unusual tbh. What I mean is, if you did that commute, I am pretty sure you would be the only child at your school that lived in our city.

I keep chasing for targets and current levels but they just don’t seem to have them. We spoke to SENCO last week and she said she has been trying to get those from staff but they have not provided them.

Agree reg international trips. They are not not that important but the rest of the things are so disheartening. We are supposed to have termly meetings but they don’t happen. No interventions in math, english or science. The only thing happening is the speech and language therapy and a social skill activity with other kids once per week.

I feel the school is resting on the laurels.

No rural, school 6 miles away but big city

No school is perfect.

I'd look at broadening her horizons outside of school. She's old enough to join cadets now, even if she has no interest in joining the forces they are fantastic for week long adventurous activity trips in the UK, sports competitions, overseas trips (I went to Gibraltar, some friends went to Cyprus). She'll increase her friendship circle outside of school. Community projects, DoE, learn to fly and get Pilots license if she joins Air Cadets, I image similar for watercraft for sea/Navy cadets if you are close to water.

She was mostly happy in year 7 and 8 but I guess the novelty passed and the commuting and not having local friends is taking its tall.

For us as parents we still don’t know or will not know where she is academically. We pay for math, science tutoring and will probably add English.

Thanks. That is a good idea. Will look into it.

If she has an EHCP, you should have an annual review. Particularly important at transition times and Year 10 is the start of Key Stage 4. That is certainly when you should get information on current progress and meeting targets, as well as setting new ones.

Bear in mind that another school may not have the same option blocks as the one she’s at, so you may want to think about a move ( if you do move) before options are chosen.

You also nee

i might be picking this up wrong but the issues you mention not are not conflicting with the original reasons you picked the school except for the lack of contact. Trips etc might be something that could come via her hobbies? Not all pupils take part in these even when they are on offer. Maybe before making a final decision you should make an appointment to visit the school and have an in person conversation with the year head or whoever is best suited to give you feedback. As girls mature their what they need from a school changes and perhaps you had sound logic when you made your original selection.

We had a call with SENCO and I sent them an email this morning copying in the head of year. The head of year confirmed receipt but really nothing changes.

They promised things likely additional tutoring paid by the school but they don’t materialise.

We do have annual meetings but the LA has not been involved; and last time I called them they took awhile to find her records; she was lost in the system.

I will start chasing and copying the LA but I am loosing hope in the system.

It took me quite a few emails and attempts to get the meeting last week with SENCO.

Do I need to call/ chase both every week/day?

That commute time is wild unless I am misreading! Drive train and walk, 50 mins total, to move six miles? She could cycle it in 30 mins (I mean that may not be practical but still). 20 mins on the train even a local train where I live gets you about 20 miles. Can you not just drive her the whole way in 15 mins? I realise that’s not the main issue tho

Surely regardless of moving or not, you need detailed feedback on how she's doing on her subjects? You could make a poorly informed choice to move her based on not knowing this...

I'd be pursing that to death and once I had it and compared it with what her tutors say, then you'd be in a position to think about next steps such as a move.

With SEN, knowing where they're at accurately is problem 1 surely? Sounds maddening - I've been there a few times.

IMHO and experience - yes. Squeaky wheel gets results.

You do not need to be friends with the SENCO, you need them to deliver for your child.

Thank you. I always feel a bit bad knowing how badly staffed and resourced states are. I am going to make my task chase every single week until I get what we need.

That's an awful commute. Probably the worst of all worlds in that she can't even do it independently and there are lots of different sections. (And I suggest is nearer an hour by the time you've factored in a late train and some contingency).

It doesn't sound like the school is actually providing any benefits to make this commute worthwhile, so, if your DD is keen to move, I would definitely look at moving her. Yes, the school might be no better, but it might be that a change will be good, and having 2 hours extra a day and closer friends will be hugely beneficial to her.

No harm in looking around other schools and considering a move if the school is not working out for her. No need to wait until Y10 if you feel the other schools would be better and they have space now.

Yeah I would call the local Outstanding school. See if they have a space and also what their SEN provision is like

Thank you. I sent them an email but have received no reply yet. I will give them a call

But you need to find out how your daughter is actually doing to know where she's needing extra support don't you? I'd be really concerned at her age not having accurate info on how she's doing in her subjects.