Did I make a mistake choosing DD secondary school!

[Newmoon8]

DD is currently in year 9 and has an EHCP due to a mild/ moderate developmental language disorder. I spent quite a bit of time researching, reading and asking for opinions about school. We chose a school further away, 50 min door to door.

It is a girls school. We chose it as it seems like a nurturing school, behaviour mostly ok and we felt she will get the best support there.

DD has not been entirely happy since start of year 9; she feels the commuting is not worth it, feel a bit left out as all the girls live locally. She feels there is nothing exciting going on at school, eg international trips, the feels is an ok school but doesn’t really excel at anything.

As parents we don’t hear much from the school; the reports a bit useless, have no clue what her targets are and what levels she is working at. I think there is one person in SENCO for 400 girls with additional needs. We do chase the school but they appear understaffed, overwhelmed. They do seem to have lots of people in the office as every time I call someone different answer.

It is an 8 form school.

I feel a bit down and like I made a mistake sending her there. There is an outstanding school near by, but it is coed, occasional disruption in class and quite strict so didn’t feel it was right and that she wasn’t ready at 11 for that big move,

There is another where her best friend went to massive coed school; excellent music, arts, drama; however the feedback is that there is basically no support for kids with additional needs; they are completely overwhelmed. I think the school is good if your kids is excellent at something but not so good for the rest.

Thanks for reading. I got it off my chest

Correct. The commuting is one issue but the real issue is not having accurate information of what her targets are and what level she is working at. I keep chasing the school but don’t think they have this info from what the SENCO said.

I will chase the LA as no having much luck with the school

She needs to move school this year no matter what.

What sort of reports do other people received?

I wouldn’t move her. I think it would be very disruptive and the outstanding school doesn’t sound great to me.

That's the thing - it sounds as though this school looks good on paper but in actuality they've been awful if you can't even get accurate info.

I'd hesitate to move her to another good on paper school whatever the rating is unless I could discuss and get assurances that the areas she's struggling in would be helped.

Can you go to your local MP and council? Is there any local SEN parent group - you won't be the only one that's had issues with this school I bet - ask what they did.

I've seen friends in similar situations get a horrible shock when their dc fails all or nearly all exams when the school feedback has been lacking and at the level of 'fine' and then, their next stage is usually to suggest your dd gives up on any exams she's not had a pass in.

Regardless of where she is you want to get ahead of that old game by any and all means as you still have time to head that off.

And don't be overly reassured by tutor feedback as both of mine can do more at home in a calm setting than they can potentially replicate at school.

I know schools are under resourced and you feel at some points like you're torturing teachers but your dd is clearly at a stage where you need concrete info to make good decisions and it is going make her life harder and be stressful if she ploughs exams and you weren't prepared.

It is a lottery, isn’t it?

I worried a lot about secondary schools. They are so big, resources limited, teachers have to deal with all sort of behaviour, needs, etc so I spent hours reading, researching, asking for opinions, visited school twice, etc.

DD1 went to a private school from year 7 to 11 as we were too far from the good state school; she enjoyed it there and did well; she is now at the local state outstanding sixth form which is working for her; but she did say that a few days ago they had to ask one of her teachers to go and support another teacher in the lower years as the class was out of control. The Sixth form is fine though and not disruption, and they are really on top of things, eg kids needing interventions, etc.

DD2 didn’t get into the private school and her needs and wants are different so we chose what we thought was best for her.

hopefully she will get into the school that start in year 10 as I think it will suit her best, but if she doesn’t I will have a serious conversation with her on whether she wants to move to the local coed outstanding school or stay up to year 11 in current school; counting the years 😅

Honestly, I don’t think secondary schools generally are very good. I’m a secondary school teacher so I’m not damning my profession, it isn’t individuals, it’s a system I’m critical of.

I am coming to that conclusion myself

I despair. I just received a letter in the post from current school about attendance as it is 93%.

All they seem to be worried about is attendance and uniform. That is the majority of communications.

I am so disheartened about this school. I think even if I chase them every week to ask for targets and level she is working at they are not going to send them. They just don’t have them.

My daughter told me that there is lots of students movement, people leaving and joining. I am not sure if it is the school or they move house/country.

Most secondary schools will only send those out at certain times, once a term normally, and they are meaningless anyway.