11+ 2025 support thread

[AquaPeer]

Hi all,
I really enjoyed reading previous 11 plus support threads and I think we’re probably ready for a new cohort of year 5s start their prep?

so I thought I’d set up one for next year. All welcome!

we are trying for dame Alice Owen. DD currently has group tutoring once a week but we are looking to increase to twice a week before Xmas.

i am trying to get her to do a cgt GL 15 min tests a day very unsuccessfully! This half term is going to be all about embedding routine 😀

look forward to meeting other parents preparing

We aren't considering private. I took DD to dinner at the restaurant of her choice after Latymer but she asked if she could have paint pens instead 😆. She ended up with both, cheeky meff.

Hello! Just to say good luck to all the Trafford kids (and parents - we're almost there!) sitting tomorrow. We've had a very chilled out day today and I'm almost wondering if DS has forgotten it's even happening!

Best of luck too to everyone else still waiting to sit exams or now in the long wait for results 🙂

Good luck everyone!

Thanks @IsThatYouPam was just coming on to say the same!
So pleased for those that will be all done after tomorrow! Role on Friday for us.
Ds very chilled as we are using tomorrow as more of a practice for Friday he had told me he’s nervous for Friday though.

Yes, I was also thinking good luck for everyone doing Trafford tomorrow. PS, mums this is your reminder to book yourself a treat for all of your hard work….I booked a spa day, but nails, massage, anything! You deserve it!

Us neither... a few girls we know are trying to go private via scholarships, but the exams are in Nov/January and honestly, I don't think any of us could cope with prolonging this agony! Dd would literally kill me... I'd be sleeping with one eye open!

My DD was so tired after the long day at St M, we got bubble tea, went home and relaxed!

I don't think scholarships give you that much off fees do they? Unless combined with a bursary and I don't think we'd be eligible for those.

Haha at sleeping with one eye open. We are going to local comp open days over the next couple of weeks. I already know them really as looked around with dd1 but will do the same with dd2. Trouble is most of them would be such long shots that it's a bit depressing if you like one. Our realistic choices are sit on the waiting list and hope for Highgate woods, or Hornsey School for Girls with dd1.

Good luck & strong nerves for those at Trafford today.

DS sat last year, and we were both quite overwhelmed when we got there and stood in the crowd, felt very out of our depth! Took him for Pizza Hut afterwards and made a point of not immediately asking him any questions, more focused on “well done for going through all that” and leaving it to him to talk about it if he wanted to.

What is everyone else doing wrt bribes/rewards etc? We've made a point of avoiding "if you pass we'll buy you [X]" as if he doesn't pass he'll be sad enough as it is without needing to be "punished" by being denied something he was hoping for, so we're going for rewarding effort (which is always within his control) rather than outcome (which is not). But I know that doesn't necessarily work for everyone, some parents at our school have promised their kids iPhones or whatever if they score 121 or above...

We have offered a no-demand December; outside of school hours they may do whatever they want by way of leisure, which I think will be a combination of roaming town like Dickensian orphans and unlimited screen time. This is a reward for effort rather than attainment; they sacrificed so much time to these exams and in December they'll get some of it 'back'. We did consider surprising them with flights somewhere hot but I've spent the travel budget on tutoring and mock exams... again that would be a reward for how hard they've worked rather than specific scores.

I really dislike the concept of rewarding high scores, but I come to the conversation from the perspective of a mother with a cognitively 'gifted' son and a smaller sister with significant learning difficulties whom is desperate to please and works just as hard as anyone, and harder than most. She won't pass the 11+ when her time comes no matter how hard she tries.

@DolphinOnASkateboardwe rewarded our son for effort, so bought him a couple of presents that were in the car when I picked him up for his last exam as a surprise. No need for iPhones ‘only if you pass!’

Good luck to everyone who’s sitting Trafford today! We dropped DS of at 9 and we were so impressed with how organised it was. No long queues or anything.

I feel sick with nerves…

We were really tough on our son with severely limited screen time in the last month prior to the test and a total screen detox in the final week. His reward when he got home from the test was a Switch 2 - for all his hard work.

The reward for a good enough score will be getting to go to grammar!

I wasn't planning on any further rewards over and above the meal out and pens she's already had which was an acknowledgement of all her hard work. But DD wants to get into one of these schools and has been self motivated to practise. She asked to do a mock "at a real place" and thanked me for buying her the books etc. So I've really been supporting her ambitions rather than the other way around. She's a love quite honestly, and I'm very proud of her, but will be sad for her if she doesn't get in. Adding bribes etc would just increase the stakes. Would be a diff situation if I was trying to get her to take it more seriously. Dd1 for example is doing GCSEs next year and all her chat about ambitions doesn't translate into actual effort put in. But I'll probably go more down the route of taking her to nice places to study, or small treats along the way, rather than big longer term rewards. Apart from anything else she is AuDHD and has some trouble connecting actions with consequences.

We gave DD1 a duvet day that she could cash in at any reasonable time during Y6 (reasonable as in “not during your SATs!”), in recognition of her hard work and how much time she’d given up.

We also did a family holiday in October half term as recognition of the fact that the hard work had impacted us all, and this was drawing a line under it. Obviously that was booked well before we knew the results, so was very much celebrating effort rather than achievement.

I once said something along the lines of "the reward for a good enough score will be getting to go to the grammar school" and then immediately regretted it as it made it sound like going to a regular upper school instead was a punishment!

I remember that wait - didn't get any easier even by child three! Glad the entry was calm and organised - it does help. Stretford staff are lovely.

Good point! Grammar is our nearest school and the only way to have control over where he ends up though (we're in an awkward location for all the comp catchments) so it really does feel like a reward if he gets to go there.

Thank you! Wow three times, fair play to you. This was our first time and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to do it again lol

We're also rewarding for effort, not results... she put so much effort in, that i couldn't ever say she didn't try her best. And for a 10 year old, that involved lots of sacrificed weekends/play dates etc. Once we know if she gets second round at DAO, we'll fix a date to go for a nice meal of her choice/day out... I want to wait until we know all exams are officially over before we let our hair down :) She had a whole weekend of freedom and really enjoyed it - we spent the day with some friends eating and laughing and relaxing at home, watching movies, etc. Today she has Scouts starting up again... I'm not having her do anything until Wednesday (although I'm secretly hoping DAO results are out by then, so we know whether to carry on or not).

I've sorted of decided not to mention round 2 until we know if it's happening. I feel like building it up again is only going to make the results feel like a bigger deal if she's not through. I know that's a risky approach but I'm feeling like HB is a bit of a long shot anyway. Most of my eggs are in the Latymer basket and that is done and dusted though they mark it in two tranches.

I do want the results ready badly though. Am thinking about them A LOT. She's got brownie camp and y6 residential to look forward to though, and her usual activities and friend stuff. I should really sort some playdates out though. Especially as she's just found out there's a clash between brownie camp and a party

Yeah, I know what you mean. Ideally, it'd be great to just know if she was in at St M and not even make round 2 DAO. I do feel like the DAO maths and English is harder though looking at the papers, so part of me thinks that if she hasn't made the cut at St M or Latymer, she won't pass round 2 DAO anyway (round 1 was VR only) - although, I do think sometimes it's a bit of pot luck on the day too, how she feels, etc - so who knows! She could pass round 2 DAO and have flunked the others! I just go around in circles! When do we find out about Latymer? End of Sept to know if they're in top 700? And then?

@DolphinOnASkateboard we rewarded for effort. We've got them a Switch (not switch 2).
If they get 121, we'll probably get fish & chips
If they don't get 121, we'll probably get fish & chips.

My DC1 tutor, a few years ago, made a point of saying: use bribery for effort in the last 2 months rather than an award for passing.

@teachermum26so glad you had a nice calm drop off…. Alty boys was carnage. Queue of about 1500 people at drop off and obviously similar at pick up. It took and hour to collect. The man at pick up who put his hand on my back try and push past me was very lucky he didn’t get a mouthful rather than a filthy look!!

Ds said the NVR was tricky (he hasn’t done loads and loads but knows the basics) and the second comp was also a bit tricky but fine.
That’s all I got. It was a good experience for him and he says he’s not nervous for Ambrose at all now because he knows what to expect so hopefully my plan was the right one.

Hope all the other Trafford kids found it ok.