Detentions as a punishment

[SweatyLama]

I didn't grow up in the UK, but my children were born here. This year, my DS started secondary school for the first time, and I discovered that they have a system of punishments in place. Is this a common practice in all state schools in Britain? I really don't like this system ( I mean punishments) and find it degrading and outdated.

Look OP. We are really short of teachers in this country, in part because of working conditions and some of those have been exacerbated by parents who don't uphold the school's rules (a minor part perhaps, but definitely there).

Be part of the solution not part of the problem.

Schools are not going to prioritise the needs of one violent teenager over a member of staff teaching hundreds of them and nor should they - it's a workplace and it should never be acceptable to risk injury in the workplace, barring some very particular situations like enlisting in the army. Which has been voluntary in this country since National Service ended anyway.

@Phineyj
OP, do you acknowledge that messing around and disrupting other people can be fun? More fun than learning tough stuff not of your choice?
The value of a teacher is that he can make studying his subject interesting. Have you ever noticed that some teachers make even interesting things boring, while others make even difficult things interesting and arouse a desire to study.
Another thought is that such fun is an attempt to cover up one's own ill-being. There is always something deeper and more tragic behind such fun. Happy people do not offend other people.

Define ‘punishment’.

If your teen got in with a bad crowd and was drinking very heavily/taking drugs, how would you deal with that, after the gentle parenting and therapy hadn’t worked? They’re stealing from you and their siblings. Are you saying that you wouldn’t ground them or stop their allowance?

Nope, It's not my logic.

Why don't panish your child?

I thought the whole point of this thread is that you disagree with punishment?
And now you support it?

The same as yours system.
How many people in your country are unemployed and living on benefits? You pretended to teach the children, and they pretended to learn, but in the end, they have no skills or professions and just sit at home doing nothing. I’m talking about those kids who don’t want to study and don’t make any effort to learn. My experience is 25% is a school in a poor, criminal area. But the rest of the lack of punishment didn't stop them from getting an education and becoming law-abiding citizens

Exactly what I was thinking! Even in my worst lesson, I didn't have as many as 25% of the students sent out for poor behaviour.

It is difficult to imagine a situation where a child in a family of adequate parents who respect and accept their child would become part of a bad crowd whose principles contradict the principles of the family.

And yet it happens every single day.

OP I think there's a reason why you've repeatedly refused to say what country you are from/holding up as a model in education. It's obviously not because you think it'll be identifying as you are hardly going to be the only person in the UK from that country.
I think it's because you know if you said where it is people would either be able to point out that the schools they know there are not quite as you've described or they'd be able to point out the negatives of the education system there.

You are drawing the wrong conclusions.I ask you. What are your reasons for not using punishment?

@SweatyLama - I never really needed to punish my DC ) and they're certainly not ones who were afraid to push boundaries ) Natural consequences always seemed to do that for me. I would ask them to go to their room if their behaviour was getting out of hand so things didn't escalate, but it wasn't a "punishment".

Maybe they’ve moved to a new area and the child is keen to make new friends? The bad crowd may have been welcoming towards the child. Children do not always make the best decisions.

Or perhaps the child has experienced a trauma and is acting out?

Maybe the child has ADHD and is behaving impulsively.

There are countless reasons why the children of loving, supportive parents can go off the rails.

don't forget it was a school in a really bad criminal area. There were 30 people in our class and 5 people would sit in the lobby from time to time. when they came to class they would sit quietly, i don't know what they were doing, i suspect they were just sitting. it was y10 and y11. 3 of them were drug addicts. 2 others went to college. I don't know the statistics of the other 8 classes that were in the same school with us.

You don't know what is happening in family, where children make sush a choice

I wrote, you missed it.

Actually we do know a lot. Significant research is undergone in third level institutions at PhD level continuously.

You are very naive.