I think DD school are being absolutely ridiculous

[TheBlueHoney]

DD 16 and her friends were walking to class, a boy from her year walking behind them. DD had a very minor "wardrobe malfunction" due to wind and when turned around the boy behind them quickly turned his head to the side as if to act like he was not looking. Which resulted DDs friends all having a laugh and teasing the boy. At end of class on way out boy approached DD and apologised and he explains he genuinely wasn't looking and turned his head as to ensure he was not looking as dd was directly in his line of sight and said he absolutely did not look away as to "quickly act as if he was not looking" someone reported this anonymously and the school are now saying the boy will recieve re-education in "behaviour towards girls and women"

This is just absurd if you ask me and a step way too far. I don't see any wrongdoing at all weather he was or wasn't looking dd was directly in his line of sight as he was walking behind them.

did they actually used the term Re-education??! 😳

sounds ridicolous. I honestly though it was the girls going to get reprimanded for the skirt length and making fun of him for not looking at their bum cheeks.

3 days in and im already sick of telling girls to unroll their skirts as their bum cheeks are showing.

the school are now saying the boy will recieve re-education in "behaviour towards girls and women"

How do you know this?

Poor lad-seems to have been completely misunderstood. If I was your daughter, I’d have a word with the head of year.

It's what my daughter and I were told. I spoke to head of year and she said regardless of intent to be sure it can't help but to just have a chat about the topic in general.

The boy sounds incredibly respectful is this was the true description of events .

it would be wrong to punish him

This is where some boys get disillusioned. They try their best to be respectful & instead of being thanked & admired for mature attitude, they're treated like children and still told (implied) they're in the wrong. They can't win & it doesn't do anything for them being respectful going forward.

So he’s getting into trouble for something that couldn’t be helped? He looked away, he apologised and he sounds very respectful yet the school are punishing him for it?
Sounds like the school is taking things too far and if he furious if I was his mum.

I mean I wasn't there and dd isn't sure enough to say weather his actions were completely of Innocent nature. He could have been intentionally staring at her and made up a load of bollocks about apologising and wanting to be respectful and turn his head away. Either way I think school are massively overreacting.

I’d be really pissed off if I was the boy (or his parents!)

Me too, I can't think of what more I can do though I stressed to head of year to just drop it

It seems to me that boys get “villainised” whatever they do.
When my boys were at senior school, their lives were made a living hell by girls.( To be fair, so was my daughter’s. She had better friends amongst boys than girls.) It seems to me girls get away with all sorts of behaviour, but if it’s a boy, they are slapped down and treated like complete pariahs. We talk a lot about “misogyny “, but what about the rampant “misandry”? If being a girl/woman is considered a “protected characteristic” these days, why can’t the same be said for being a boy/man? It just doesn’t seem fair.

And how, if something happens in front of you does that make you guilty of seeing “something “ ? How many people wouldn’t stare to begin with? It’s human nature. As long as it wasn’t prolonged, no harm , surely?

Did the head of year say she was going to ‘re-educate’ him or did she say she was going to have a chat about respectful behaviour with him?

because the second one seems sensible. If it was all innocent he can say that during the chat and that’s that.

Initially the phrase "re-educated" was used towards my daughter, when I spoke to head of year on phone I stressed that I really don't believe thats necessary as there is no evidence of any intentional wrongdoing or inappropriate behaviour the entire incident is purely subjective, the head of year then used the phrase "it can't help to have a chat about the topic".

Agree about the second point if it's done in a group setting with other students. I don't believe based on this incident it's appropriate for this individual to be singled out.

My girls’ schools recommend cycling shorts at all times when not wearing tights. It’s a thing in primary too now.

They introduced this when upskirting became a crime.

damned if they do damned if they don’t.

sounds like a head of year who is trying to reassure you and your daughter that she is safe in school. You don’t/want need the reassurance and that’s lovely, but I’d say your reaction to this whilst rational is quite unusual.

Thanks for advice, although would you mind clarifying what's unusual about it?

@TheBlueHoney

i guess it's quite unusual these days for parents to be fair minded & stick up for other children (especially boys).

good on you.

Exactly that. My instinct is the head of year expected you to go off the deep end about how your daughter has been sexually harassed at school.

Oh God, this is my nightmare for my son, well done for taking a sensible approach, I dread to think how being "re-educated" might affect that boy's mental health.

Aside from the re-education nonsense, what kind of "wardrobe malfunction" could have triggered such a reaction? Wind blew her skirt up and her knickers were briefly visible? Hardly Basic Instinct territory, is it?

Yeah I mean I can see it from that perspective, maybe It's because I trust my daughters instincts completely. She came home saying it was a complete nonsense reaction from the school so to me that's what it was.

wind blew her skirt up and it got caught under her bag straps. Yes just that, knickers exposed for a brief moment.

My goodness, what a complete overreaction!

Thanks 😊

I feel sorry for him, and makes me worry as a boy mum. They can't do right for doing wrong!

Even if he didn't look away, it was one of those momentary accidents that no one can help! He's a teenage boy! He's only human, it's not like he whipped his phone out and filmed it! YANBU the school is overreacting.