I think DD school are being absolutely ridiculous

[TheBlueHoney]

DD 16 and her friends were walking to class, a boy from her year walking behind them. DD had a very minor "wardrobe malfunction" due to wind and when turned around the boy behind them quickly turned his head to the side as if to act like he was not looking. Which resulted DDs friends all having a laugh and teasing the boy. At end of class on way out boy approached DD and apologised and he explains he genuinely wasn't looking and turned his head as to ensure he was not looking as dd was directly in his line of sight and said he absolutely did not look away as to "quickly act as if he was not looking" someone reported this anonymously and the school are now saying the boy will recieve re-education in "behaviour towards girls and women"

This is just absurd if you ask me and a step way too far. I don't see any wrongdoing at all weather he was or wasn't looking dd was directly in his line of sight as he was walking behind them.

Who even thought this was worth telling the school about??

This world is going to pot!!!
Schools have uniform rules (I'm assuming your dd was abiding by them?)
The weather (unpredictable, especially in the u.k) changed and blew her skirt up.
Yet, the school have decided to punish what sounds like an innocent student that was walking behind her at the time? Would they do the same had a girl been walking behind your dd? What about a a person going to work??
As I'm writing this I'm finding the schools behaviour stranger!!

Yes completely my initial reaction

This is craazyy!! Demonising a boy who's done absolutely nothing wrong. Glad as mother of the DD you contacted the school. Its up to all of us to make sure everyone is treated fairly and respectfully....

🙄🤦‍♀️ OP didn't tell the school. Read the OP again

If this were my son, I would be at the school complaining and would. If someone lifts a girl's skirt, that is clearly a problem, but this is just nonsense.

@TheBlueHoney

What this 'Head of Year' is going to do here, is totally change what is, by the sounds of it, a very well raised & respectful boy with manners (and seemingly some integrity too) into a boy terrified to ever trust his own judgment and ability to use his own critical thinking skills again when it comes to girls & women. Fearful of being seen as a 'pervert' etc.
In some cases, this sort of thing can be where it starts with young men who grow to be resentful (& hateful) of women. All it takes is one or two encounters like this.....

Perhaps I'm being a little dramatic but many vile, abusive men who despise women (inc incels) have said it was one or two apparently trivial issues in adolescence, resulting in situations like OP describes, as being what triggered a life long hatred or resentment of females for them.
Shit like this stays with them in other words.

I accidentally walked into a guy in my bathroom when i was definitely not expecting anyone in there. My reaction was to stare for a good 2 seconds before I realised what i was doing , apologised and closed the door. Thinking back, i should have closed the door then apologised and no staring! Sometimes you need to wake your up brain up do to the correct reaction

I have sons, if this happened to one of mine I would be making a complaint and he wouldn't be doing anything that implied he had done something wrong. It's unacceptable for the school to assume he was somehow at fault because he happened to be walking behind. If anything, it sounds like the girls made it into something that got around, by teasing him in front of other people.

Yes it was the teasing him from her friends that caused a bystander to make an anonymous report

I thought this would be about farting, not weather.

???

It's still my initial reaction!! That poor boy (and your dd) the school have majorly over reacted and made something normal into a massive issue for both of them. I would be complaining and I hope the boys family do aswell. X

Me too. I misinterpreted "wind malfunction" and then realised that made no sense.

Even if the boy hadn't looked away still no harm done surely, albeit not best manners.

Friends maybe need "re-educating" too.

Absolutely ridiculous and very stupid that it’s assumed someone has done something wrong because they looked away. The key things are that something was on show by accident and that someone was seen to look away. He did the right thing. Girls who teased him are a bit in the wrong but hardly more than a quick tell off

Yeh, write out an account of what actually happened and explain why this bystander sought to complain, but that it is misunderstanding

If they continue to punish the boy, speak to the Governors

I don't really blame the girls though either, they were just having a laugh which maybe the best way to handle stuff like this, dd says they weren't teasing him in a nasty way just "winding him up"

Being reminded to be respectful to females shouldn't affect his mental health.

I do blame the girls though. Mother of a mix of boys / girls who are teens and young adults. Sounds like the teasing was enough to stress him out so he came and apologised afterwards to her. So them making a huge deal and essentially 'banter' (which we all hate when it's men doing it?) has triggered a bystander to make a complaint.

They'll have to learn though that if disrespectful behavior to women and girls is being taken seriously, as it should, then "teasing" someone about something that could get them punished if misinterpreted (as happened here) is no longer appropriate.

I don't think it's a great loss for them to remove winding boys up about non-existent sexual misbehaviour from their repertoire.

But , what about the disrespect of girls for boys? It truly happens. Both my boys suffered at the hands of girls who would ridicule and belittle them for fun.How is that fair? My eldest ,in particular ,has gone into adulthood scared to death of doing or saying the wrong thing around women.

He sounds like he was perfectly respectful, he got caught up in something by pure chance, he doesn't need reminding about anything.

So he gets reminded about something he doesn't need reminding about. Still shouldn't impact his mental health.

I mean it's normal boys will look at girls even if theyre young actually ESPECIALLY uf theyre young are they trying to make him hate women or something?

Whatever you want to tell yourself, my son would be mortified at the suggestion that he shouldn't be looking at a girl's exposed knickers when it was unavoidable, he would definitely not be able to brush it off.