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Secondary education

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Original poster

Take DS out of private? as bad yr 9 results will they translate to good GCSE'S?

56 replies

sef23 · 25/08/2024 13:49

Hi everyone

DS is performing poorly in private. Generally B's, C's and D's.

He has had a few A's here and there over the years.

He is undiagnosed ADHD. The wait is too long so never got him on meds which i don t believe in, as boys will be boys, he fidgets cant concentrate and is away with the fairies, plenty of herbs out there he can be on, but school needs a diagnosis to help him. Can anyone guide on this point?

Took our DD out of private to rejoin normal secondary as she hated private.

Both switched from normal primary and have been in private for about 2 /3 yrs.

Shall I persevere and keep him in? in the hope that 30k spend over next 2 yrs will translate to good GCSES or put him in local secondary with his sister and where most of his local friends are. He also has good friends in private, who live all over the place.

If all hes capable of his B's and C's he can get that in local school.

Lost again and dont know what to do, term starts in 10 days.

Will he be happier to be with his 'real' friends in local will this help him more, or lower him and drive him the other way and push to his 'naughty tendencies'?

thanks xxx

OP posts:
JohnCravensNewsround · 31/08/2024 13:33

I really doubt that taking a year 9 kid out of a school he is happy in will translate to a happy child. You see b and c as poor grades, they are not. He is best in the environment that can keep his attention and focus for the next couple of years.
I think it's a terrible idea to move him now. He is a child, not a performing monkey.

qwertyasdfgzxcv · 31/08/2024 13:34

sef23 · 25/08/2024 14:22

The post is being sidetracked by the adhd issue, everything cannot be about mental health hes very happy, but happiness doesnt pay the bills, for us its about his grades, thats why hes in private, paid 2k for a dyslexia assessment for daughter - chap said she has it, later on another school assessment said shes fine moral - you get what you pay for, herbs are things like saffron, magnesium , L theanine etc noortropics etc . My Q is that now, hes getting poor grades, will they improve later on, or is local school better, local is not a grammer but an okayish comprehensive

This post is about his education, it isn't being sidetracked by his potential ADHD, it's about us offering advice about how to help your son reach his potential, which is more that just which school to send him to.

Beth216 · 31/08/2024 13:46

sef23 · 25/08/2024 14:22

The post is being sidetracked by the adhd issue, everything cannot be about mental health hes very happy, but happiness doesnt pay the bills, for us its about his grades, thats why hes in private, paid 2k for a dyslexia assessment for daughter - chap said she has it, later on another school assessment said shes fine moral - you get what you pay for, herbs are things like saffron, magnesium , L theanine etc noortropics etc . My Q is that now, hes getting poor grades, will they improve later on, or is local school better, local is not a grammer but an okayish comprehensive

This is a really scary post. School is not qualified to diagnose dyslexia and should not be questioning a diagnosis from a professional and retesting her themselves. Mental health and ADHD are two completely different things argggghhh I feel really bad for your kids with such an ignorant mother. Please, please read up properly on these conditions as neurodiversity obviously runs in the family.

KerryBlues · 31/08/2024 13:56

sef23 · 25/08/2024 14:22

The post is being sidetracked by the adhd issue, everything cannot be about mental health hes very happy, but happiness doesnt pay the bills, for us its about his grades, thats why hes in private, paid 2k for a dyslexia assessment for daughter - chap said she has it, later on another school assessment said shes fine moral - you get what you pay for, herbs are things like saffron, magnesium , L theanine etc noortropics etc . My Q is that now, hes getting poor grades, will they improve later on, or is local school better, local is not a grammer but an okayish comprehensive

It’s a pretty bizarre question, to be fair.
No, unless you get him some help his grades won’t just spontaneously get better later on.
HTH.

PeachSalad · 01/09/2024 08:41

Janedoe82 · 25/08/2024 13:53

Have a daughter with adhd who was at private and moved to a grammar- has just ended up with better results than private friends.

personally I would get a private diagnosis and medicate. My daughter only takes her tablets at certain times- she doesn’t like it as she is less ‘fun’ but she can focus.

Yeah, as if he will be moved to grammar 🤦🏼‍♀️

WilmaFlintstone1 · 01/09/2024 08:54

FFS OP. what an amazing parent you are…not;

Dyslexia is very different to ADHD/ADD, letting him try medication might allow your DS to reach the A grades you are paying for. Still never mind, am sure your herbs bullshit will have the same effect Hmm. Honestly parents like you do my head in.
You pay thousands for education but won’t pay for him to see a private specialist who may be able to suggest well researched medication.

Your poor son, I pity him.

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