DS1 thinks he has done badly in his GCSEs

[winterrabbit]

DS1 sat his GCSEs this year and we'll get the results next month. He missed a chunk of time in year 10 as he was excluded from school and it took us ages to find him another place. He has ADHD and really struggles with focus and behaviour. He would only revise with tutors which he ended up having pretty much every day in the lead up to his exams but only for a few hours. The exams themselves seem to go ok, or so he said at the time. No disasters where he forgot to answer half the paper although he mentioned a few were tough (Biology paper 2 for example). He finished all papers so I thought/hoped he had done ok but he casually mentioned the other day that I shouldn't get my hopes up as he thinks he did really badly and failed at least a few. Obviously I'm now super worried. He only failed one mock and scrapped by with 4 and 5s in most subjects plus a 6 in French although he did literally no revision. Surely he can't have done worse in the real exams than he did in the mocks? If he has done badly then what options are there for him? Can he resit or do you have to get certain grades to be eligible to resit, e.g. a 4 in Maths and English?

The other option is ask for reviews of marking. If he’s close to boundaries in some, it might be worth it

Reviews do not look at grade boundaries, and there has to be clear evidence of marking being unjustifiable. It's only worth reviews in English if someone experienced has looked at the paper and considers it worth a review. Small mark changes are highly highly unlikely.

Reviews are also very expensive.

I think you need to do some research on A levels - kids mostly do these to get into uni. Where we live all the A level programmes in the government schools require a min of a 7 in that gcse to that subject - its only the colleges and the private schools which take students with lower grades.

Its not about your son getting into an A level programme...its about him coping in an A level programme. With the grades he got in his mocks I am sorry I can't see how he would cope in an A level programme.

I think as well - its super important you feedback to your son whatever he gets it will be OK. There will be options for him. If you make out you are worried or that its a catastrophe - he will become very down on himself.

Have you considered ADHD meds - we put our son on them specifically for his GCSES (a month beforehand) and it pushed his grades up massively,

sorry but we have a lot of ADHD in our family - including me and my two kids. I went into a school programme to condense my high school into three years and enter uni at 15...probably because I have ADHD and my brain thinks of several things at once. My children with ADHD are doing A levels and applying for Russell Group unis - at my son's grammar school lots of kids have ADHD in his A level programme and also expected to go to Russell Group Unis.

Whereabouts are you as those grade requirements seem higher than usual? Most places in London you need a 6 in the subject although oversubscribed schools ask for higher. Private schools tend to set higher entry requirements, not lower.

Why did you assume he is not medicated? He did take ADHD medication over his exams for that exact reason.

Two other things - his mocks are not his real exams. Secondly, it's completely wrong and discriminatory to say that if you have ADHD then you are not A-level materials. Students with ADHD need reasonable adjustments to allow them to learn and access learning in the same way as other kids. It does not mean they are not capable cognitively or academically or that they can't achieve the same as their non-neuro diverse peers. Your and other posters attitudes are about 20 years out of date.

If he’s neurodiverse, are there things he could do that aren’t academic? We’re an ND family. DS is too young for this atm (still at primary) but we’re working on giving him skills that aren’t academic so he has a range of options as we know he may not go on to higher education, at least not straight from school. We’re lucky because we’re both self-employed so DH has been teaching him how to use tools.

Most of all I’d say make him realise there’s more to life than grades. I wish I’d known that as a ND teenager.

And I’m not at all saying he’s not A level material - just that I probably would have benefited from a wider range of learning options at that age. DH and I are both ND, both went to uni and crashed out at 18, went back and did well in BSc/MSc/MEng in our 20s and 30s. I often feel the education system is too linear for ND people and by the time they’re 16/17/18 they’ve been in education a long time. We’re focusing on teaching DS to live as an ND person without burning out - something DH and I are still learning the hard way as we were diagnosed as adults.

Oh - and unis are generally very open to and value ‘experience’ rather than qualifications. There’s so much pressure on the ‘traditional’ route. What’s he interested in?

Have you both looked at alternatives to school such as a local college that offers A levels ( I appreciate that this will depend on your location). It would worry me if the plan was for my dc to stay at school, if he had said he hates school. It’s difficult when they don’t really express an interest in the next steps because at 16, they do need to be doing something! I think at this stage, I would just wait for the actual results coming in. There will be people at school ready to advise if he doesn’t get the grades he needs. He also has you to support him, so he’ll be okay .

I don’t think you are seeing how you are coming across. Many people have given up their time to consider what you have written and give an educated opinion. Based on their own experiences either personally or in the world of education.

You are being very defensive. Maybe if you look back at this thread in a week or so, you will realise how badly you have taken this pretty good advice.

You asked for options and are telling people to shut up when they are trying to help you.

On threads, conversations can go slightly off topic. It doesn’t mean you have to be rude to people.

I wish your son all the best. But be careful that by being so prickly and defensive, you’re not being open-minded to all the different avenues he could pursue, including A-levels.

Your anger is blinding you to what is being written. This poster said that his mock grades might mean he will struggle with A Levels. Not because of discriminating against his ADHD.

For what it’s worth I know three kids who are at Russell Group universities with ADHD. They all struggled a bit at A-level and they didn’t get their first choices. However, they are coping okay now. They had extra time in A-levels. I know that none of them got below grade 7 in their GCSEs.

It is crucial that you listen to your son and do not pressurise him to do a levels unless he really wants to do them. Speak to him and the school and make an informed choice after you get your results.

Why would I care how I am coming across? I honestly could not give 2 hoots what strangers on MN think of me when they don't know me or my son! If I am defensive then it's because the last five years has been a battle in many ways and I was told (on Mumsnet) that DS shouldn't even sit 9 GCSEs given how much school he had missed. Glad I didn't listen to that! I am happy to be informed of my options but I don't want to be told that my son should not do X, Y or Z because MN posters honestly have no clue.

Your opening post clearly states:
If he has done badly then what options are there for him?
You have had a number of very helpful suggestions from posters with clearly a great deal of experience yet you chose to be rude and ignore them.
🤷🏼‍♀️

If he's not academic but more practical why not look at other educational options? A college might suit him better doing a practical course.

If DS struggled with the independent study required at GCSE level, how does he plan to cope with the independent study required at A level? Far more is required at A level than GCSE.

I haven't said he isn't academic.

Why do you believe he will manage the independent study better at A level than he did for GCSEs? That's the crux of it for me.

Assuming he gets decent grades at GCSE and has the right support, I think he will manage fine at A-level. Remember he is a 16 year old boy and is maturing all the time. Let's be careful not to make a judgement of 'you're stupid/not capable/not academic" for someone who has not finished growing. Even 16 years without ADHD don't like studying and won't do it unless pushed. ADHD kids are typically a couple of years behind in terms of maturity. I know plenty of kids who are not especially hardworking who managed absolutely fine at A-level. Why don't you stop trying to make out A-levels are the preserve of only top 10% or so.

I am ignoring them because I don't agree with them and they don't know my son, I do. You do know that I don't have to blindly accept advice from strangers on MN don't you? I wasn't seeking advice on BTEC or vocational courses, more on resits/how to support DS/what to do given that he has had a very disrupted GCSE experience due to a permanent exclusion which meant he missed a chunk of school, etc. If I want information on BTEC and vocational courses, I know where to get them but I DO NOT NEED THAT INFORMATION AT THIS POINT. I do hope that is ok with you Coffee?

That’s not actually answering the question about independent study.

I have not said DS is “stupid/not capable/not academic". But he clearly struggled with the independent study required of GCSE and A levels require so much more independent study. Therefore DS needs a plan on how he is going to cope with that.

Why don't you stop trying to make out A-levels are the preserve of only top 10% or so.

Where exactly have I posted this?

We do have a plan. We will continue to support with tutors where we need to but hopefully as he gets older then he will start to do more on his own. It also helps studying only 3 subjects that you're interested in rather than trying to cover 9 subjects at once.

You have't posted that in those words but it's basically what you're saying.

You have't posted that in those words but it's basically what you're saying.

No it isn’t. Nowhere near. Being able to study independently is not the preserve of the top 10% or so. Neither did I say DS shouldn’t do A levels. I asked what DS’s plan was for coping with the demands of the level of independent study required. Because, if DS struggled with the independent study required at GCSE, unless something changes, he will struggle with the even greater amount of independent study required at A level.

No point worrying about his GCSES until he has the results. What does he want to do next? I'd be focussing on that.

He wants to do A-levels at his current sixth form so fingers crossed he gets enough. He was thinking about another college which offered A-levels and a sports academy but is now saying he wants to stay at his current school which is great as he has only been there since middle of year 10 so want him to stay put for a while plus all the teachers know him well and give him a lot of flexibility which helps massively.

How did your son get on OP?

GCSE results are next Thursday :)