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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Elite award

36 replies

Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 22:37

High school do a KS3 award night annually. Last year dd won a specific subject, this year nothing. Represented the school at a regional final and only dropped one mark from a recent assessment, is an A+ student with no conduct or attendance issues. Would you mention it in next meeting with form tutor or am I being 'that' mother?? The teacher said she's literally years ahead of the class

OP posts:
BestZebbie · 09/07/2024 22:46

Perhaps they feel she has won enough already? (I don't necessarily agree with this if they are also pretending it is done on pure merit, but it is common).

Original poster
Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 22:54

She only won the award a year ago. How do you have an elite award if the top of the class don't win?? There is both boy/girl award

OP posts:
Ioverslept · 09/07/2024 22:57

Maybe another child deserved it too and they can only give it to one?

combinationpadlock · 09/07/2024 22:58

She might not be the only one that all those things are true for.

Original poster
Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 23:01

She is though...

OP posts:
Geppili · 09/07/2024 23:05

How can you know that?

Original poster
Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 23:12

She and a male child represented the school at a university. I would expect him to win the other award
Last year, 3 got to the regional final, two to the national, they all got awards. Slightly different subjects

OP posts:
angelcake20 · 09/07/2024 23:16

We will not give our subject awards to any child who has had one for that subject before and they can only have one award each year. We also like to award effort and engagement as well as achievement so they are not always given to the top students. DCs' school however gives the prizes to the highest scoring student, occasionally resulting in one child having more than half the rewards. Different schools will have different processes for allocation. Yes, you would be 'that' mother for raising this. I'm very surprised that they use the word 'elite'.

Smartiepants79 · 09/07/2024 23:18

What are the criteria the school use for choosing who receives this award? Just being academically good? Or a more complex collection of reasons?
I really wouldn’t go to school and tell them you think your DD was robbed and they should give her the award. You would not look good. And they’re extremely unlikely to change their minds.
She sounds like she gets plenty of recognition for her efforts. Maybe someone else’s child also deserved a chance to be recognised this year.

Original poster
Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 23:26

Angelcake20 they did it last year as the best possible in each subject. I don't get how she isn't after the results

OP posts:
NewName24 · 09/07/2024 23:45

Smartiepants79 · 09/07/2024 23:18

What are the criteria the school use for choosing who receives this award? Just being academically good? Or a more complex collection of reasons?
I really wouldn’t go to school and tell them you think your DD was robbed and they should give her the award. You would not look good. And they’re extremely unlikely to change their minds.
She sounds like she gets plenty of recognition for her efforts. Maybe someone else’s child also deserved a chance to be recognised this year.

This.

and yes, you would be "that parent"

Original poster
Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 23:46

That's the point tho.....

OP posts:
MultiplaLight · 09/07/2024 23:47

Move on with your life.

She gets enough recognition for her achievements. Let the other kids have a turn.

Please don't Complain.

Floralnomad · 09/07/2024 23:49

Fgs get a grip , it’s a high school awards night not the Nobel prize .

Original poster
Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 23:53

She doesn't tho, she won one award...

OP posts:
MultiplaLight · 09/07/2024 23:56

You're one of those parents. Sigh.

Yes. Complain about the school failing to recognise they clearly have the second coming walking among the.

izzywizzydizzy · 10/07/2024 06:35

I was the only kid from my school to obtain straight top grades in maths and science at both GCSE and A level, and the only one to go to oxbridge, but made it all the way to 6th form without making it to a prize day. The one that really irks, with hindsight, is that the year I was the only kid in the school to obtain the top grade in additional maths GCSE (and the first to do so), they gave the maths prize to someone who had already left the school and was studying medicine at uni.
DS1 has largely repeated this achievement and made it all the way through, finishing with 290 UCAS points and the highest score in the country in one subject, but never winning a prize at school. He did a lot to popularise chess in the school and when they finally set up a chess club, it was oversubscribed, so they allocated places by lottery and he didn't get one.
Schools are toxic places where teachers play favourites - awarding prizes to a minority legitimises this. Or, as one of DS's teachers put it, "today's the day I have to make all but two of the kids feel bad about themselves".

RedHelenB · 10/07/2024 06:37

Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 23:53

She doesn't tho, she won one award...

Exactly. She's won one. You would be that mother to moan about her nit getting one this year.

Smartiepants79 · 10/07/2024 06:48

Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 23:53

She doesn't tho, she won one award...

That’s one more than nearly everyone else.
And she has been chosen to represent school for events?? That’s recognition.
Please try and accept that it was someone else’s turn this year. Not getting this award does not detract from her achievements. But it will if you let it.
Whether you agree with this or not, someone else was chosen this year. Nothing you do or say will change that.

MoonAndStarsAndSky · 10/07/2024 06:52

There's no harm in asking at all.

trumpetz · 10/07/2024 07:27

Mrsmouse71 · 09/07/2024 22:37

High school do a KS3 award night annually. Last year dd won a specific subject, this year nothing. Represented the school at a regional final and only dropped one mark from a recent assessment, is an A+ student with no conduct or attendance issues. Would you mention it in next meeting with form tutor or am I being 'that' mother?? The teacher said she's literally years ahead of the class

It would be tacky to mention it. Rise above, and put yourself in the shoes of the school. They have an award system that doesn't work well - hopefully they will re-think it for next year. In the meantime, let someone else get some credit.

At our school, annual achievement awards are given to students with the top 3 attainment and top 3 progress in each subject. It works better because it allows for more variation. Only families of children getting awards are invited to the evening ceremony, so children not getting awards don't have to sit and watch.

redskydarknight · 10/07/2024 07:43

What are the criteria for getting the "elite" award?

At my niece's school prizes go the person who gets the highest mark in the exams.

At my DC's school they award prizes based on achievement, effort and interest in the subject.

My niece who is naturally good at maths and doesn't particularly work at it wins her school maths prize year after year. I doubt she would at my DC's school.

Also consider how many children get awards. If it's most of the year, then I'd perhaps agree it's disappointing for OP's DD not to get one. If it's two children per subject and a year group of 480, then much less likely that she should.

celestebellman · 10/07/2024 07:44

My dc who are in years 8 and 10 have both had one award on an awards evening so far - given they hand out awards in maybe 20 subjects and there are well over 300 kids in each year group, I have told them they have both done well to get one as the majority won't get anything during their time at school. The awards evening is also an extremely clandestine affair, with no public announcement and only those who have been awarded informed - presumably because of parents like you. My dd is very good at art and won an art award last year. I had no expectation she would get this again. Other people are also good at art, and it's better imo to let more people have the recognition and confidence boost.

There have been some children who have won several subject awards, fair enough they were nominated by teachers separately but part of me thinks it would be nice if one person could just have one award and then more can benefit. It seems pretty clear to me that out of 300 people their are always going to be a number of kids who could equally deserve the award in terms of aptitude, effort, enthusiasm, progress in a subject - not always just the best.

No matter how great your dd is at a subject chances are she will get to university and discover people who are better - so probably good to realise now you are not always going to win.

celestebellman · 10/07/2024 07:45

There

Smartiepants79 · 10/07/2024 07:45

MoonAndStarsAndSky · 10/07/2024 06:52

There's no harm in asking at all.

Yes there is!
The award has been given to someone else. Thats not changing.
What would you hope the outcome to be?
The other 13 year old is stripped of her award?
They create a whole new award for the precious DD?
Don’t ask, you’d look like an entitled idiot.