Elite award

[Mrsmouse71]

High school do a KS3 award night annually. Last year dd won a specific subject, this year nothing. Represented the school at a regional final and only dropped one mark from a recent assessment, is an A+ student with no conduct or attendance issues. Would you mention it in next meeting with form tutor or am I being 'that' mother?? The teacher said she's literally years ahead of the class

Yes, you would be that parent. Schools spread the awards around. Sometimes the awards are decided by one teacher saying, ‘Hey, who should win the award for computing this year?’ and another one saying, ‘Give it to Annie, she wrote a really cool program for a Mandelbrot’. My DD once won the award for Italian. She only did it for a year, and she was just ok at it, but she liked chatting to her Italian teacher after class and I guess the teacher liked her enthusiasm.

I am still miffed about the Year 10 History Prize. And I’m 51.

But ultimately school prizes don’t matter at all. Absolutely fine to hold a grudge (I would, obvs). Just don’t go into school about it.

My DD won 0 awards in the first 3 years when they were based on teacher selection
After that when it was based on actual marks she won lots
We always said that as long as she was doing her best that was all that mattered
The teachers seemed to go for the (over) confident children with the pushy parents

You are indeed being that parent.

I actually prefer when schools choose different pupils. Being the kid who does well and gets no recognition whilst the same names get picked year in year out is crushing.

Our DDs old school was like that, to the point where they didn't have a leavers evening like our DS' school have had, instead they invited the same 12 kids who won every award each year for a leavers evening and the rest of probably a year group of 200 kids was snubbed and merely collected their GCSE certificates from the school office. I was so angry that they did that, it reinforced to my DD that they were seen as a failure and not good enough.

DS won an award last year, he is by far the best in his class for the subject and predicted 9 in his exam. He could have won again (and would have at the old school) but was pleased that one of his peers won instead. He doesn't need a piece of paper or a shiny award to know he is excellent at the subject, working hard and achieving his goal is enough for him.

Don't project your attitude onto your child.

You're being that parent.

If your dd is that bright then she'll be fine and the school prize won't matter one jot.

DD is predicted 3 A* at A level and didn't win any prizes. Completely irrelevant.

All of this.

Including the fact that my dds' school have a clandestine awards evening, which you only know about if you have been given an award.
I like that.
I had no idea it happened until the year dc1 got one, and I wasn't so invested that I created a list of the different awards presented to start questioning why she didn't receive any of the other ones.
dd1 was lucky enough to find school easy. She was lucky enough to have parents who supported her. She was lucky enough that she was fairly confident. I know she always got good marks, and those marks were enough feedback for both her and for us to know she was doing well. There were others in her school who perhaps weren't born with a brain that understood things quickly; that perhaps didn't have parents who were able to provide a warm house to come home to with a desk in quiet room to work at; who perhaps hadn't had books read to them every night when they were young, and hadn't had the opportunity to do extra curricula activities. Some of those pupils will have had to have worked MUCH harder to get the same, or even a lower mark than my dc. I, of course, was not privy to that information, but I hope the school took all of that into account, and awarded prizes for all sorts of reasons, not just to the one that was lucky enough to have been born with a brain that means they find a subject easy.
I would think much less of a school that gave the same award to the same pupil each year.

The DC who care will recognize when an award is given on the basis of something other than highest achievement. Perhaps they should just rename the awards to make that clear to everyone else as well.

You have to let it go but I do think schools need to be a bit more careful. I still remember not getting anything when I was the only one to get top marks across all my subjects at —level at my school. It really pissed me off at the time and clearly can still remember it decades later.

I am going through this a bit with my younger child. She is observant and notices that the really bad behaved kids have got more ‘star of the week’ awards and it’s really annoying her. It sounds so little and trivial but it does have an impact. I’d rather they didn’t bother to be frank if they can’t implement it in a way that doesn’t annoy the kids. If they are cynical about this stuff by the age of 6/7 then they’re not doing it right.

My child is a high achiever, he has won some awards in high school.. there are also many other high achievers in his school so we know for a fact he won't get awarded every year. Often awards are given out for effort even if they don't get As, high grades is not the be all and end all when it comes to awarding students. I think you need to realise that your child is not the only child in school who deserves an award.

If she’s the best of the best and you know it and she knows it and someone who isn’t the best of the best has got the award you feel your child should have, ask the school politely what the criteria were this year and whether it was something different from last year.

My DD was a national medalist in a prominent sport. Didn’t even get a look in for the sports prize.