If I may add my two penn’orth into this discussion as an ex-Westminster parent… Sadly I think that the OP is both a genuine ex-parent and is the perfect example of the exact parent I avoided being stuck with at any school function. These are not the parents you chose to join you on the team for the parents quiz nights either because you a) it’s supposed to be fun and b) you are not allowed to use google 😉
Westminster does have two kinds of pupils - the naturally academic and the tutored to death, never allowed a moment’s downtime type. The girls do tend to fall into the former. There are also a high level of neurodiverse pupils.
It is true that the school does not ‘coach’ for Ivy League because the kids who are going are either ‘donation rich’ or legacy applicants which leaves the rest fighting for a very small amount of places which I understand is explained at the start of the process. However it is also the case that positions of responsibility are mostly given to potential US application pupils because Ivy Leagues want that sort of nonsense whereas Oxbridge don’t give a shiny shit if you are the milk monitor or not. Spending any money on a child who is likely to get in on early acceptance because of their natural ability is obscene. The OP won’t want to hear this because her child is very unlikely to have been in college (sore point for a lot of US moms) and because she equates success with throwing money at the ‘problem’. Happily, there are a great deal of people who will take her money and probably have a good laugh about the insanity of it all.
Saturday school IME was not a waste of time, and does provide the school with the ability to facilitate sports on two afternoons a week (where parents are not allowed to interfere with the order of things) and allows the pupils to let off steam from what is a very pressurised home environment. The school recognises this as an essential part of the week.
The teachers IME are not lazy and I have no doubt that my DC received a brilliant non-spoon fed education. However, a lot of kids are put under pressure by insane parents who then tutor outside of school leaving zero time for the DC to actually learn to love the subject. It is quite sad. The more emotionally stable and frankly happier kids are the ones whose parents are not trying to live vicariously through them.
Also sad is the amount of emotional neglect that some kids receive from their parents and for that reason I rate the pastoral care system very highly. Parents of kids who receive the highest amount of pastoral care are very unlikely to know that their child is being discreetly propped up by the school because of their parenting.
After the whole ‘everyone’s invited’ situation the school has done its best to facilitate educating young men into becoming actual gentleman. However consent still remains an issue at parties and it won’t surprise anyone on here to read that the sort of kids who have an inability to understand consent are raised by the entitled, arrogant and ignorant types so expertly self-identified by the OP. Girls don’t want to go to US universities because the entitled attitude of male college boys having bought their way into school is not appealing. Nor is the prospect of having no agency over their own bodies following Roe v Wade bring overturned. Oh, and let’s not forget Facebook was started because Mark Zuckerberg and his contemporaries were unable to get a date and decided to set up a rating system for their female peers. So not creepy at all then. But yay! It is the ‘greatest civilisation on earth’.
It is also not the case that there are ‘large numbers’ of girls arriving keen to express themselves as male-identifying. Quite the opposite.
If anyone would like to know my thoughts on the actual School it is this - it is by far the best education my DC could’ve received to meet their needs. The teachers are skilled, supportive, reactive and communicative. A large number are OW. Nearly all have received an Oxbridge education themselves. The environment is akin to studying at Oxbridge- high volume in short bursts which is self-guided. This is why so many applicants from the school are successful. If you are looking for a spoon-fed, rote learning school, this is not the one for you. If sports excellence (other than rowing) is important to you, this is not the school for you either. If you are looking for your child to meet other kids who think like them and who support each other both emotionally and academically and who will form life-long friendships, this might be the School you are looking for.