Nurturing uncliquey N London girls school 11+

[Tangerinedream99]

My DD has her heart set on going to an all girls secondary school (eg S Hampstead, Channing, Francis Holland Regents Park). But in her state primary she has unfortunately been excluded by the main girls clique in her class. She is a sweet, giggly girl with a lot of hobbies, perhaps not as worldly as some of the others. I have told her that secondary school will be a chance to make new friends but I’m worried that an all girls environment might see a repeat of the exclusion although there would be a much bigger pool of girls to choose from. Any N London schools I should avoid/ gravitate towards with this in mind? She’s naturally bright but not a total high flyer.

I would imagine that all of the school mentioned could be cliquey

Perhaps, apply for a variety of school and if possible avoid sending to the same school as the bullies.

Bullying aside, do you have any preference for the schools mentioned? Is academic, sporty, creative etc? Is languages important to you etc

The thing with secondary schools is there’s a bigger pool of children from which to find “your people”. There are cliques everywhere but they don’t feel excluded as they have their own clique IYSWIM.

Have a look at Queenswood - lots of North London girls there.

You’re probably right. Cliques are impossible to avoid. I would say I want somewhere academic but not a hothouse, creative but calm and ordered. Not sure if that narrows things down much!

Does it have to be independent? Would she be eligible for any of the all girl state schools?

We’re out of catchment for Parliament Hill and Camden Schhol for Girls and I doubt she’d get into Henrietta Barnett.

Those schools have junior schools, so established cliques may be there already. Open day visits, and ask other currents mothers or recent pupils their views.

Ah, okay.

Francis Holland doesn’t have a junior school, and it had a really lovely warm feel. We liked it. Might be worth looking at Queen’s too. I thought Channing was very friendly and talked a good talk on pastoral stuff.

SHHS is very academically pushy, so might not be right for you.

Francis Holland Regent Park doesn’t have a junior school on site but there is Francis Holland Prep in a new building in Chelsea that would feed to Regent’s Park, Sloane Sq and other schools.
Queen College, another option.
Heard same as @ApoodlecalledPenny about Channing.

All schools will have groups of friends. Your dd will find her own group. Perhaps primary is too small. DD just started secondary this year and everyone has been very friendly, but of course everyone finds their friends and they tend to just hang out with them (but still friendly w all). DD is friends with everyone so will hang out with different groups along wither her bestie (found a good friend at the start of school).

How far out of catchment are you for Parli? I'd highly recommend that.

We’re nearly three miles away so I assume it’s not an option especially as state schools are likely to be flooded with applicants.

Francis Holland and Queens are the ones cited as more pastoral and nurturing. But that's from the perspective of hot-housing / academic pressure, no idea of that correlates or not to bullying or its absence. You have to be very bright and VERY tutored to get into South Hampstead or NLC (frankly any north London independent school to be honest) but that doesn't mean the girls there will be more prone to bullying than anywhere else.

Go on all the tours / open days and ask about their anti bullying policy and ask the girls who show you round whether all their friends are in one group.

PS - also, with schools as highly competitive as all the ones you've listed, you just have to apply to them all and see what happens. If she is lucky enough to get into more than one, then you can focus on which one you'd choose.

Honestly just try. Parli is very very popular at the moment but Camden is closing primaries as there's not enough kids so catchments will only widen for secondaries. The stats for offer day some years are wildly different to the reality in aug/sept or even Oct half term. Some councils do offer stats as of 1/09 but not sure if Camden does. They won't tell you how far the last in year applicant has got in from though. Anything after that won't be published. The issue is you may lose a terms fees as you're going for private as your alternative.
Have you looked into Camden Girls music places?

Foxesandsquirrels thanks that’s really helpful. I guess it’s always worth a try. I’m not sure DD’s rudimentary piano skills would get her a Camden Girls music scholarship. 😉

It's technically not based on ability!

I second Foxes suggestion of the CSG music route. Nothing to lose by trying. Apart from a few hours in an exam for your child. If she gets through the first stage then she’ll have an audition but it can be an “easy” piece.

Apply to both Parli and CSG anyway. How about St Marylebone, or are you in completely the wrong direction? They have a variety of different admissions too though.

I would recommend mixed schools for the very fact that cliquey girls are a thing currently bothering her. I'm not saying that cliques don't exist at mixed schools but they definitely feature less!

Cliques can be formed in any school, yes, those schools that don't have junior departments are less likely to have cliques formed straight away but the girls can still form cliques shortly after they settle in and exclude some other girls from it. This varies from class to class in any school and all schools will be more or less similar. so I wouldn't certainly choose the school based on hearsay that this school has fewer cliques as you will be in a completely different class and your experience may be the opposite. All these schools are also quite competitive so you may not even have a choice at the end. For some girls, a co-ed environment is more suitable, so its also something to consider.

I'd agree, some girls are switching from the above-mentioned schools to Highgate at senior/6th form and UCS 6th form , I spoke to the parents they mentioned that their girls found the co-ed environment in general much better (again this may not be everyone's experience)

Ours has been the complete opposite! I think like all things school related much depends on your specific cohort. Tutor group etc. and that's luck!

I’m probably biased because my DD is there (in the junior school), but given what you have said about your DD, Channing might be the right place for her. I take the bus from outside the senior school most days and I am always struck by how utterly lovely the girls are to each other and to others around. There seems to be a huge range of characters and interests judging by the chats I hear on the bus and the stuff they come out carrying.

I love Channing for being so unlike other schools of its ilk and for being more focused on individuals than results. Having (rather miserably) attended a super competitive N London school, I was keen to avoid that for my DD.

That said, there is no substitute for visiting all the schools and getting a sense of them. Your DD and you may have a wholly different feeling about Channing than I do. And also, some children thrive in pushy atmospheres or in competitive environments and she might get to those schools and feel they suit her better.

I think a girls school is 100% more likely to be cliquey. Doesn’t answer your question, sorry!

I strongly disagree