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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

To move or not

32 replies

Newuser75 · 03/03/2024 16:21

So I'm just after some thoughts.
Our son (year six) is in an all through independent school. Very academic school, moderately high pressured.
He is happy there and has some nice friends. He is doing well although not at the top of the class or anything.

He is academically very, very capable but does have some SEN. He has autism, adhd (mainly distraction), visual processing disorder and a few others. He is very distracted by visual stimulus and noise. He doesn't like crowds and a lot of noise distresses him. Has struggled with school refusal and anxiety over the years. There are over 20 children in each class. And about 150 kids in the year in secondary. Pastoral care not so great.

There is another local school, a much smaller school, approximately 12 kids in a class with I think three classes per year. Pastoral care (so I've heard from other parents) is meant to be excellent, they seem to do a lot of extra curricular subjects that really interest him that he couldn't do at his current school.

We think he would do better at the second school due to mainly the smaller classes, more family feel and better pastoral care, less pushy, pressurised environment but are reluctant to move him from a school he has been generally happy at and has a nice friendship group.

He is open to all options.
Thoughts would be welcome.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 03/03/2024 16:22

Which high school would he go to? It would be good to have friends from a feeder school.

Original poster
Newuser75 · 03/03/2024 16:25

DustyLee123 · 03/03/2024 16:22

Which high school would he go to? It would be good to have friends from a feeder school.

If he stayed where he was the vast majority of kids move up to the senior school.

If he went to the other school he could potentially know one other child but that would be it.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 03/03/2024 16:27

All high schools are bigger, so how would he cope there?
I personally think high school is the most important choice.

Original poster
Newuser75 · 03/03/2024 16:29

@DustyLee123 yes that's the concern, the school he is currently at is a lot bigger than the one we are comparing it to.

OP posts:
ILickedItSoItsMine · 03/03/2024 17:40

>adhd (mainly distraction),

ADHD is not only distraction. It has that H in the acronym name. The child is hyper. Whereas ADD ( without H) is a characteristics of many learning difficulties.

Original poster
Newuser75 · 03/03/2024 17:54

ILickedItSoItsMine · 03/03/2024 17:40

>adhd (mainly distraction),

ADHD is not only distraction. It has that H in the acronym name. The child is hyper. Whereas ADD ( without H) is a characteristics of many learning difficulties.

Yes, that's why I said mainly distraction.

OP posts:
minipie · 03/03/2024 21:32

What is the SEN support like at the two schools? You really want somewhere with a SEN dept that is proactive and knows their stuff on his issues. Somewhere that isn’t happy with him just about managing, but wants to help him access his full potential. Somewhere that regularly checks he is ok rather than waiting for an issue to arise.

Some private schools are not great with SEN in practice, whatever they promise.

PuttingDownRoots · 03/03/2024 21:35

36 children per year could be very limiting at Secondary.
For example... how much choice do they get for GCSEs?
Sports teams, orchestras etc... can they form those?

TigerOnTour · 03/03/2024 21:38

Stay with the school he's at. If there are problems later you can move. 150 is quite small for a secondary and will provide a variety of friends, specialist teachers and subjects for him.

GreenRaven · 03/03/2024 21:41

Never move a happy child

Original poster
Newuser75 · 03/03/2024 22:04

minipie · 03/03/2024 21:32

What is the SEN support like at the two schools? You really want somewhere with a SEN dept that is proactive and knows their stuff on his issues. Somewhere that isn’t happy with him just about managing, but wants to help him access his full potential. Somewhere that regularly checks he is ok rather than waiting for an issue to arise.

Some private schools are not great with SEN in practice, whatever they promise.

The school he is currently at, honestly not great. We have had a battle to get things put in place for him.
The other school, only going off hearsay and what they say, a lot better, but obviously you don't know for sure until you get there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newuser75 · 03/03/2024 22:05

PuttingDownRoots · 03/03/2024 21:35

36 children per year could be very limiting at Secondary.
For example... how much choice do they get for GCSEs?
Sports teams, orchestras etc... can they form those?

Yes they have sports teams etc. actually seem to have more subjects that he enjoys, specialist teachers. It's literally only the friends that concerns me.

OP posts:
SaffronSpice · 03/03/2024 22:19

ILickedItSoItsMine · 03/03/2024 17:40

>adhd (mainly distraction),

ADHD is not only distraction. It has that H in the acronym name. The child is hyper. Whereas ADD ( without H) is a characteristics of many learning difficulties.

The official diagnosis for ADHD without hyperactivity is not ADD, it is ADHD (inattentive type)

ILickedItSoItsMine · 03/03/2024 22:33

apparently, there is not such thing as ADHD inattentive type. CAMHS believes that it to label ADHD needs to be also hyperactivity. Our CAMHS application via school was refused on that basis. My son is not hyperactive ( yet inattentive) and educationally he is on all subjects = or +

SaffronSpice · 04/03/2024 01:23

ILickedItSoItsMine · 03/03/2024 22:33

apparently, there is not such thing as ADHD inattentive type. CAMHS believes that it to label ADHD needs to be also hyperactivity. Our CAMHS application via school was refused on that basis. My son is not hyperactive ( yet inattentive) and educationally he is on all subjects = or +

Edited

The ICD 11 code for it is 6A05.0

For DSM 5 the code is 314.00 (F90.0)

incognito119 · 04/03/2024 06:12

I would move him. From personal experience, when anxiety and hormones and SEN issues are in the mix at secondary school, you need a school that will support and help you. Better to move him now then try and find a space in a years time if it all goes wrong. Can he stay at both schools for 6th form if he wants to?
have you spoken to head of SEN at the other school to see how they would support him?

Original poster
Newuser75 · 04/03/2024 06:29

incognito119 · 04/03/2024 06:12

I would move him. From personal experience, when anxiety and hormones and SEN issues are in the mix at secondary school, you need a school that will support and help you. Better to move him now then try and find a space in a years time if it all goes wrong. Can he stay at both schools for 6th form if he wants to?
have you spoken to head of SEN at the other school to see how they would support him?

Thank you. Yes we have and it seems positive. I'm just trying not to think that the grass is always greener! It's so difficult.

OP posts:
cansu · 04/03/2024 06:37

If he doesn't find his tribe in the small school he will be miserable. It doesn't sound big enough yo provide a decent peer group. Plus it is surely vulnerable to closure down the line.

Original poster
Newuser75 · 04/03/2024 06:42

cansu · 04/03/2024 06:37

If he doesn't find his tribe in the small school he will be miserable. It doesn't sound big enough yo provide a decent peer group. Plus it is surely vulnerable to closure down the line.

Yes those are concerns we have.

OP posts:
Phineyj · 04/03/2024 06:48

These are both private schools?

My concern would be that a school that small is not financially viable, especially if/when the VAT on fees comes in.

Original poster
Newuser75 · 04/03/2024 06:55

Phineyj · 04/03/2024 06:48

These are both private schools?

My concern would be that a school that small is not financially viable, especially if/when the VAT on fees comes in.

Yes, both private. And yes, that's a concern as there will be probably many people who then can't afford fees.

OP posts:
shepherdsangeldelight · 04/03/2024 07:40

36 in a year (are you sure this is right?) is far too small at secondary level. it will limit his options of what he can do. And even the most wonderful of pastoral care can't make him a friend if he doesn't have anything/much in common with any of the 35 others.

That said, I wouldn't want to keep in current school either. Do you have other options?

ILickedItSoItsMine · 04/03/2024 08:39

SaffronSpice · 04/03/2024 01:23

The ICD 11 code for it is 6A05.0

For DSM 5 the code is 314.00 (F90.0)

Show quote history

But still it states:
Some hyperactive-impulsive symptoms may also be present, but these are not clinically significant
and my son is not hyperactive at all. CAMHS doesn't believe it is enough to fall under category of ADHD. And that was my experience with them. Without that H aspect they even will not consider

SaffronSpice · 04/03/2024 08:49

I think you have a CAMHS problem. Is it just one clinician? Can you change? If not, what do they say is the cause of the problems he does have? What do the propose to help?

Phineyj · 04/03/2024 08:55

Have you gone onto the Companies' House website and looked at the school's accounts? If not, do.