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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Why do parents opt for Homeschooling?

80 replies

consciousmum · 03/01/2024 23:47

I am curious, why parents opt for homeschooling, when education in state schools is free and quite decent?
Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
BeautifulAndBrave · 04/01/2024 21:28

World's not words.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 04/01/2024 21:30

TimeToChange23 · 04/01/2024 10:20

OU requires no prior qualifications for most courses and they can start, I believe from 16 years old.

They can even opt for a certificate of higher education gaining 60 credits out of the 360 credits needed for a bachelors.

Sorry to correct you but you get a Cert. HE from the OU after 120 credits (usually 2 modules, sometimes up to 4 modules, especially if maths or IT is involved).

It's still a great path for a younger student who is academically able and has the support at home to work independently and complete the work. And you can actually apply to study there from any age, there is no minimum although there are separate arrangements for under 16s and all potential students must be able to work at a university level.

Here is the guidance for anyone with an under-18-year-old looking to study at the OU: https://help.open.ac.uk/documents/policies/admission-of-applicants-under-the-age-18

The Open University

The Open University

This document sets out the University's policy for the admission of applicants under the age of 18 and includes the admissions process for applicants under the age of 16.

https://help.open.ac.uk/documents/policies/admission-of-applicants-under-the-age-18

Itwasserious · 04/01/2024 21:31

For my dc it was because the transition to secondary triggered off autistic shutdown and for one that affected other medical conditions and her life was at risk so we deregistered

BeautifulAndBrave · 04/01/2024 21:41

My 14 year old son left school education age 14. He is self taught. I am a widowed parent and wor, he hasn't needed any guidance from me.. He is perfectly capable, passed all his GCSE' s and first year of A levels, now in his final year and has been offered a place at his chosen Uni.
He's done all his own research, it's taught him to be resourceful, self disciplined as well as independent. No tutors or online schools, the information is all free online.
We took a huge risk, secondary school was not working for him, but it paid off.
My eldest sailed through the school system but academically, youngest has out performed and does appear so much happier.

BeautifulAndBrave · 04/01/2024 21:41

Work not wor.

whiteboardking · 04/01/2024 21:43

dressedforcomfort · 04/01/2024 17:45

Because there is a dire shortage of specialist SEN places for children with disabilities.

For me home schooling will be a last resort as it will mean packing in a job I love. But if I can't get a SEND place for my child I will likely have no choice. Disabled kids are being massively screwed over by the current Government and it's a fucking travesty.

This is my experience. I know quite a lot of HEd families and all but one are because of SEN needs not being met in decent state schools. They just aren't resourced for it. Not enough specialist places. DC left without school places. Truely shocking.
The other family refused to entertain any of a number of decent state high schools over a fear of potential bullying (non of the schools have a bad reputation for that). No one really understands that choice as the DC seem to miss school.

LegallyBrunette01 · 04/01/2024 21:55

My DH home eds our 3 boys (and has since the eldest was 3 and DS2 was 1) and works PT and I work full-time as a higher earner. We have always home Ed.

No SEN we just don't like the UK education system that is in place.

PettsWoodParadise · 04/01/2024 22:16

We homeschooled for one term. Lots of reasons, bullying at school, daughter not learning anything new, it was a natural transition point anyway at end of primary. She had a confirmed place at an amazing secondary school. DH was a SAHD. I bought extra leave from work, we did experiments near a volcano, visited walled towns, maxed out the National Trust passes, Daughter read what she wanted, did the family accountss, planted things in the garden, we were visited twice by LA to check up on us and given leaflets but none fitted our profile and I don’t think they had a clue why we were doing it. For the social side she still had clubs and sports and neighbours to socialise with but it was isolating at times even for that short period.

in hindsight I think the experience helped her cope better than most during lockdown as she had developed an ability to self-study and manage without friends around so often.

Meadowgrasses · 04/01/2024 22:38

Lightswerve - there are some (not the majority) people who choose to home educate because they have an alternative or religious lifestyle and don’t want their dcs in school. Just because the people you know homeeducate because they have been failed by the system or because of SEN doesn’t mean that’s why everyone does. I know one family who just enjoyed lockdown and home learning and decided not to send their kids back to school.

whiteboardking · 05/01/2024 00:02

@Meadowgrasses I think a lot of families might choose this if wealthy enough to not need two parents working. I possibly would if I didn't need to work and could face trying it. But them my DC like school. So maybe not ..

LightSwerve · 05/01/2024 00:52

Meadowgrasses · 04/01/2024 22:38

Lightswerve - there are some (not the majority) people who choose to home educate because they have an alternative or religious lifestyle and don’t want their dcs in school. Just because the people you know homeeducate because they have been failed by the system or because of SEN doesn’t mean that’s why everyone does. I know one family who just enjoyed lockdown and home learning and decided not to send their kids back to school.

You didn't read my post upthread where I listed some reasons for home educating? Repeating for you here:

  1. A situation where MS school doesn't/won't meet the needs of the child;
  2. A philosophical preference for home education as opposed to institution-based education;
  3. A desire to provide a tailored/alternative curriculum;
  4. A need to provide stable education when there will be other disruption in the future - e.g relocations.

I know one family who just enjoyed lockdown and home learning and decided not to send their kids back to school. That's fine so long as their kids are receiving a decent education (which is rarely accurately judged by random observers who don't know anything about the specific education the family is providing or how home ed works in general).

Meadowgrasses · 05/01/2024 09:21

Lightswerve- I did read your post, I’m not sure you’ve read mine.
I said: Many have been failed by other schools - as shown in this thread. [your point 1]
but there are others who are home educated for reasons that are more to do with their mothers’ (and it is always mothers) reluctance to ‘let them go’ or because they want to shelter them from the real world, [your points 2 and 3] I’ve met several children like this and it is very sad to see.
I agree that I should have said nearly always mothers rather than always mothers.
I still don’t understand why you have a problem with me pointing out that some (not most) people choose to he for dubious reasons. The OP asked why people he and I’ve shared my experiences - they are real and as valid as yours. I’ve also been involved in a safeguarding case where parents of a primary aged child who was clearly being neglected (unwashed, hungry, persistent lateness, never did home reading etc)wanted to withdraw them from school, it was horrifying to think of this vulnerable child losing the security and care of school. I don’t know the outcome but still think about them. Just because I have witnessed this reason doesn’t mean that I think that this is a common reason - it’s rare enough that I didn’t mention it.
I do think it is very naive to assume that 100% of people in a community that you happen to belong to are always acting in the best interests of their children (consciously or otherwise). I understand that you want to defend your choices, but please understand that discussing other concerning reasons for he is not a criticism of you. It is an absolute cornerstone of safeguarding that we are able to consider everything as a possibility and discuss potential risks.

LightSwerve · 05/01/2024 11:04

@Meadowgrasses

Your posts are just anecdata gathered from a biased viewpoint.

Why have you assumed I'm a member of the home ed community? That's your bias talking too. My children are in school.

Your latest post is again ill-informed. Perhaps reading some factual information about home education would help you remove your blinkers?

Meadowgrasses · 05/01/2024 11:59

Lightswerve - why do you assume that you are better informed than me? Why do you think your experiences = knowledge but mine = anecdata? Why do you find it so troubling to acknowledge that some people he for different reasons than those that you’ve mentioned? What exactly about my post is it that you think is ‘ill informed’? You can’t just brand people as biased, ill informed and blinkered because they raise different points! It seems to me that you are ‘blinkered’ in being unable to acknowledge that there is a wide range of reasons for he!

Whatsinaname1234 · 05/01/2024 12:07

I get all the comments on here about people who don’t have a choice to homeschool (my kid is autistic, i totally get it), but think the question is about people who do choose to and why?

For my part it’s not a think we’ve ever seriously considered as lockdown showed i’m a rubbish teacher BUT I do really like the concept. If my kids weren’t lumbered with rubbish-teacher me as a mum I bet they’d like it.

So much of the school day is basically crowd-control, getting kids to behave, move from one place to another etc. If you homeschool you can cover a lot of academic ground quite quickly freeing up time for fun enriching activities like museums, sport etc. Parents can tailor a curriculum specifically to a child’s interests, spend longer on things which are interesting, take exams at a pace that works for them. It sounds a dream.

I am also autistic and hated school. Through my later secondary and sixth form education i mostly home educated myself (went in maybe once or twice a week) and got straight As and A*s. I would have got worse marks if I attended more as I couldn’t focus in a classroom so time in school was for me dead / wasted time

Whatsinaname1234 · 05/01/2024 12:13

BeautifulAndBrave · 04/01/2024 21:41

My 14 year old son left school education age 14. He is self taught. I am a widowed parent and wor, he hasn't needed any guidance from me.. He is perfectly capable, passed all his GCSE' s and first year of A levels, now in his final year and has been offered a place at his chosen Uni.
He's done all his own research, it's taught him to be resourceful, self disciplined as well as independent. No tutors or online schools, the information is all free online.
We took a huge risk, secondary school was not working for him, but it paid off.
My eldest sailed through the school system but academically, youngest has out performed and does appear so much happier.

Your son sounds like me :-)

He’ll be well set up for uni where self motivation is a huge challenge for a lot of first years.

People are always surprised when I say I mostly home educated myself. I guess there’s a perception home ed people are weirdos.

I always had lots of friends i’d just see them outside of school. In school I’d just have been annoying them chatting all day in lessons as i couldn’t focus in the classroom.

LightSwerve · 05/01/2024 12:45

Meadowgrasses · 05/01/2024 11:59

Lightswerve - why do you assume that you are better informed than me? Why do you think your experiences = knowledge but mine = anecdata? Why do you find it so troubling to acknowledge that some people he for different reasons than those that you’ve mentioned? What exactly about my post is it that you think is ‘ill informed’? You can’t just brand people as biased, ill informed and blinkered because they raise different points! It seems to me that you are ‘blinkered’ in being unable to acknowledge that there is a wide range of reasons for he!

I listed a wide range of reasons for HE Confused
I even repeated it for you.

You incorrectly assumed I am home educating - why?

lanthanum · 05/01/2024 13:48

Nttttt · 04/01/2024 00:18

Very odd that you’d use quotation marks for baby…

How is mine and other people’s experiences not something I would choose my child’s path based on? If you (and multiple others) had a crap experience of something why would you then put your child through that. I’ve heard no one in my life praise the SS their child is at, only be upset that their child isn’t receiving the care/attention they deserve.

I think my child learning to express herself, figuring out her out her own interests and becoming her own person are all valid points.

I don’t understand what would be your reasons to be pro-HE if not those?

Try to be open-minded about it, though.

DH was quite keen on the idea of home educating, and I would have been open to it if it seemed the best thing. However by the time DD was 4, it was quite clear that school was the best option for her. (On one occasion in the first term, when she arrived at school she asked her teacher a question - her teacher answered and then turned to me to explain. I said it was fine - I knew the answer, but DD wasn't happy to take my word for it!) Later, DD struggled with lockdown learning (and there was as much help from us as she wanted) - she was much better learning at school in a group.

Things like learning to express yourself and figuring out your own interests are arguably easier if you are mixing with a larger number of people and being exposed to lots of different things. DD inevitably shares interests with us as she's been exposed to them so much - school has given her interests in other things as well. School is actually a relatively small proportion of a child's time, so there is plenty of time for learning with you too.

I think DH's interest in home education was partly due to poor experiences at school which have not been replicated for DD - schools change, and vary from place to place.

It may turn out that home ed is what works for you and your child, but it might not.

PowerTulle · 05/01/2024 14:11

So many issues with schools. As a governor I see

School buildings not fit for purpose
Staff shortages
High needs children forced into mainstream
No differentiation due to lack of staff and resources
Disengaged and unmotivated teachers
Curriculum outdated, focused on testing

Serious behavior problems are left for schools to manage, largely due to other services collapsing (child mental health, social services etc).

There is no joy in learning, not enough focus on becoming a well rounded person. Much of the school day is childcare and behavior management.

There is a huge and growing home school community in my area. Sadly it’s not always a choice for those with SEN as provision is minimal.

RamblingEclectic · 05/01/2024 14:20

I've home educated, school educated and mixed educated, for a couple years all three at once. All forms have their pros and cons that vary with the context and choices available. I've also done support work with local home educators, currently a school governor, and some work with the local council around home education, mostly support from kids transferring in or out of home education and for older home educated kids accessing exams (they were running a programme just before COVID that has sadly since closed).

Many of those I know home educated at least in part because of an issue with the school, usually the child's issue with the school or school environment, though a few it's one of the parents who had an issue with the schools in the area when they attended. I think within the UK, at least the last data I saw on it, most home educators are through withdraw rather than philosophically from the start.

In my area, most children withdrawn to electively home educate return to a different school within a couple of years, especially at the key stage changes or through tribunals for specialist places, which can take years and often involve parents home educating for at least part of it. School quality and how schools meet the needs of children plays a major role.

I have seen parental anxiety play a role too, and it is mostly mothers, though I've seen a few fathers - had one who worried us having his email meant he would get hacked. Mostly this is in combination with other reasons like school issues, poor choices in the area, or another issue that the anxiety is kinda feeding off of.

Other reasons I've seen include just being able to do so and not seeing a reason not to, parents' poor opinion on the National Curriculum, preferences for another type of education, a family member's ill health and wanting the child to be able to spend more time with them while they can, parents being afraid of fines for a child who was avoiding school, parents who were encouraged to do so by the school the child had attended, being anti-exams,

I home educated largely because I felt able to do so, at least for primary, and could. The nail that pushed me to do so was for safeguarding reasons - my oldest child has communication struggles and was low verbal when he was young. When he was 3 in morning childcare, it turned out he and another low-verbal boy were being purposefully ignored and left out, and I decided I wouldn't put my kids back into that kind of setting until they could communicate clearly to me when there was an issue. Maybe parental anxiety played a role in this and over time this idea morphed into their father and I chose home education for primary, and my children make the choice once they reach secondary age. It's worked well for us. One of my kids is now an inclusion teaching assistant apprentice, basically her dream to work with kids across all ages across this trust, and we regularly discuss how she was glad she hadn't had to deal with what she sees primary kids having to deal with.

I spend far more sending my kids to schools than I did home educating them. It is much easier to home educate 'for free' than it is to do school for free. Just the amount I spend on uniforms and PE kit alone each year would be more than enough for home education and their clothes, never mind other supplies, transport, contribution requests, donation events... then there is the college that required gear be bought before starting that wasn't even used in the first year of the course.

School has been cheaper is when it comes to exams, by a long shot, I'm in an area where exam access is very difficult outside of school and costs for private candidates are high when you can get a place. It's also cheaper for certain extracurricular activities, and - in college - certain equipment that it would be very difficult and costly to access otherwise.

Decent is location specific - where I am was an education black hole for decades, though it has improved recently, it still has many issues.

Also, while probably the most common route, not all home educators involve a parent not working. Some work different shifts to take turns as educator, some work from home with older children using online schools, some use childcare while working with long shifts a few days a week to be able to have more days to be able to be at home, and since COVID there has been a significant rise in home education tutor groups in the UK that some parents use while working, though again, that's mostly with older children.

Mischance · 05/01/2024 14:22

Many do it because their local schools are crap. Free does not equate to good.

shellyleppard · 05/01/2024 14:24

Because the education might be free but its not always decent. Not all children can cope with the pressure of exams or being popular

Soontobe60 · 05/01/2024 14:28

Nttttt · 04/01/2024 00:18

Very odd that you’d use quotation marks for baby…

How is mine and other people’s experiences not something I would choose my child’s path based on? If you (and multiple others) had a crap experience of something why would you then put your child through that. I’ve heard no one in my life praise the SS their child is at, only be upset that their child isn’t receiving the care/attention they deserve.

I think my child learning to express herself, figuring out her out her own interests and becoming her own person are all valid points.

I don’t understand what would be your reasons to be pro-HE if not those?

And if, on the journey to ‘becoming her own person’ whatever that means, your baby decides she / he wants to go to school?

Soontobe60 · 05/01/2024 14:32

@RamblingEclectic
I spend far more sending my kids to schools than I did home educating them. It is much easier to home educate 'for free' than it is to do school for free. Just the amount I spend on uniforms and PE kit alone each year would be more than enough for home education and their clothes, never mind other supplies, transport, contribution requests, donation events... then there is the college that required gear be bought before starting that wasn't even used in the first year of the course

What about the cost of not earning a salary? Not saving towards a pension?
For millions of parents, there just isn't the option.

RobinGoch · 05/01/2024 14:53

Same story for me. The elective part of elective home education is misleading. I felt I had no choice when my autistic daughter at the age of 12 was burnt out and suicidal due to an inflexible and poorly resourced 'outstanding ' state school that she could not cope with. I had no choice and no support.