Why do parents opt for Homeschooling?

[consciousmum]

I am curious, why parents opt for homeschooling, when education in state schools is free and quite decent?
Thanks in advance!

Can I ask on here, how best to consider this seriously for our DS. He is autistic with a PDA profile and is struggling with school hugely. We didn't send him in for the final week of term as it was destroying him and his anxiety is so high ahead of school starting again on Monday. He is only 6.

It would have to be DH who would home school as I have the higher income.

Your dh should use Facebook to find local groups and meet up with other HE families asap. This is harder in winter but not impossible. If you live rurally he will need to be willing to drive a lot.

To the OP: for us, it was more fun! My (NT, some developmental delays but nothing massive) kids have had amazing childhoods, have good friends, optimistic outlooks and self-motivation and have achieved/are likely to achieve the GCSEs they need for further study, which we, their parents, value. We both work but flexibly & part time (0.8) now, but when they were little it is true that my (the mum in a straight relationship) career was severely impacted and I had several stagnant very pt (0.2) years. I’ve a good job now and no regrets.

In my experience, it’s either:

SEN and have been failed by mainstream (either diagnosed or parents refusing to diagnose)
Being hippy, anti-establishment types
Being religious, anti-real world types

Off-rolling of pupils by unscrupulous headteachers / Senior Leadership and refusal to implement expert recommendations (e.g. from educational psychologist) and refusal to allow flexi-schooling or acceleration are big factors for some groups of children (SEN, G&T).

The idea that all children are better off in school is simply an assumption which most people make. Once you've seen your own child failed by the system, you're forced to question that assumption and consider the possibility that UK schools are actually not healthy places to be, and are part of the problem, not part of the solution.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/may/22/evidence-of-uks-child-mental-health-crisis-is-stark-and-compelling

I stand by what I said, ill-informed and sexist. The decision-making involves both parents.

Sorry, you won't be able to home ed - if you ask @Meadowgrasses they will explain it is always the mother who does it

Serious answer though is start with discussing with both a local HE group/network and with one of the national organisations. Loads of advice out there.

@LightSwerve I’d suggest starting a thread in SN section because there are lots of options to consider and lots of us have experience of HE disabled children.

Did you mean to contact @Kalodi - forwarding your message!

Some really great responses.

It makes absolute sense for children whose physical and mental health needs are ignored by schools and in cases of bullying. Not to mention that gifted children probably feel more stimulated by home schooling.

Frankly seeing the sad state of the mainstream education system it is a great option for many kids and their parents...

Lightswerve - I don’t know why you are so angry. It’s a fact that if kids are home educated someone has to be at home with them! Are you saying that just as many fathers as mothers do this? I’ve met loads of home educated children and the only one that didn’t have a sahm was being cared for by their Grandmother. It might be evidence of sexism that it is far more likely to be mothers staying at home than fathers - but it isn’t sexist to point it out! It’s the mothers that are generally expected to sacrifice their careers to raise children. I’m sure there are some sahds that home educated but they are a minority, I don’t see why it’s a problem to say this?

I have a number of friends who home educate or have done in the past and I think they all have different reasons, most of which have been mentioned already, particularly SEN and/or bullying that hasn't been managed adequately at school. I've also got 2 friends who have children with particular talents (one music, one sport) which they didn't feel could be adequately nurtured in regular school but they didn't want to send their children to specialist boarding schools. Having juggled mainstream school and similar interests with my own children I can see the appeal I must say. The flexibility that home education affords can be a real asset.
I never seriously considered it myself as neither DH nor I could have made it work with our jobs but I can see how it works well for some people. All my friends were involved in Home Ed groups and their children had plenty of extracurricular activities so there was no lack of socialisation, and most have gone on to higher education or apprenticeships so their lack of conventional schooling doesn't seem to have prevented them doing anything they wanted. I think there are a lot of misconceptions about HE and those who choose do it. (Though it isn't always a genuine choice of course - I do appreciate that many are forced into it due to failings of the mainstream education system.)

I honestly think the future will be some kind of hybrid education - I read something recently about the Portland School (?) where kids go in one or two days per week and learn online the rest of the time. Not strictly homeschooling but until it is freely available I will be homeschooling my academically able ASD teen for all the reasons mentioned above.

Because the education system is broken

This.

My only direct experience of home schooling parents have significant trauma / mental health issues of their own

Because there is a dire shortage of specialist SEN places for children with disabilities.

For me home schooling will be a last resort as it will mean packing in a job I love. But if I can't get a SEND place for my child I will likely have no choice. Disabled kids are being massively screwed over by the current Government and it's a fucking travesty.

@LightSwerve I home educate both my children and also work full time. I’ve never been a SAHM and probably never will be. Yes, it’s me facilitating and providing their education but that’s because I was the one able to cater for their educational needs, carry on running a business and finding ways to work around both the needs of my business and my children.

I’ve met many, many fathers who are providing their child’s education whilst Mum works outside the home. I’ve also met many families where it’s divided equally

“Quite decent”? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Thanks for the laugh!!

In my son’s case he was traumatised by primary school (dreadful headteacher, a list of teachers who didn’t give one shiny shit that he was struggling!), then having been assured that he didn’t need an EHCP (I sorted that out once he was out of school) and that our local academy would absolutely meet his needs, we then had 7 weeks of hell before ds fully crumbled and couldn’t leave his room.
ExH and I asked for a meeting with EWO and the senco to come up with a plan - the EWO literally hissed “just get him in” when presented with DS’s diagnosis, recommendations from paeds, and a list of strategies and resources that may have helped him. They were very clear that they didn’t want him there, and have since managed out a huge number of SEN children, several that I know.
It was not a surprise to see Outwood Grange Academy Trust in this article. Utterly dreadful school if your child has any SN.

On the whole the current system suits a minority of children. Some will be ok - not great but ok. Some will be destroyed. In the 6 years my ds was at school, and the 2 years he was at college later, there was 1 teacher (out of 15-20 teachers and TAs he had contact with) who actually engaged with him and tried to understand what he was going through and made a difference - and she had an autistic son so got it. Everyone else was actively obstructive. We bought various aids for him to use (wobble cushion, foot wobbly thing, books to help him wind down between lessons) following advice from OT, which were given to other pupils!

SN aside, I believe one of the fastest growing demographics (going by HE groups) of people choosing to HE are teachers, or ex teachers I should say. There’s something wrong when the workforce won’t put their own dc through the U.K. education system.

But quite decent, yeah right 🤔😂😂😂

Ds has PDA. Honestly if I had my time again I’d HE much sooner. He was 11 when we had no option. Looking back I think maybe from 6/7 would have made a bigger difference for him and could have avoided unnecessarily trauma.
Trying to work with teachers reluctant to do anything is soul destroying.

If you do decide to HE have a look at unschooling - it works particularly well with PDA! It helps if you can be active and spontaneous.

Can I ask (and this is pure curiosity) - how do you know what to teach? And how do you know how to teach it?! I have a PhD so consider myself well educated, but I wouldn't know where to start to teach my own 3 kids. I am not qualified and would do them a disservice. Are homeschool parents teachers already? Or how does this work

You can follow a curriculum, which can either be the national curriculum or a bespoke curriculum. Or some people don't follow a curriculum at all and are student led.
https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/home-education/

There's academic research on outcomes, they're often very good.

Parents are (mostly) not teachers, teaching at home is not the same as teaching in a school.

I'm sure you wouldn't do your kids a disservice if you were minded to do it, as you'd learn.

This comment in your original post was very sexist and ill-formed @Meadowgrasses :

there are others who are home educated for reasons that are more to do with their mothers’ (and it is always mothers) reluctance to ‘let them go’ or because they want to shelter them from the real world

I'm not angry.

Yes, I have also seen both mothers and fathers doing HE.

Precisely this. All my DC are HE and my eldest DC is doing A levels having got 9 A and A*s at GCSE. They all have an active social life, friends and their childhoods are/were safe and felt very free as opposed to a life of having to conform to rigid school/term based routine. You only get one shot at childhood afterall.

We regret absolutely nothing about our decision to HE 14 years ago and our DC are thriving, happy and shock horror, very literate!

Me too but I've worked with actual homeschool groups with people who homeschool as a science tutor, not "I know a few SAHMs who homeschool", unlike Meadowgrasses who is either talking out of their hat or thinks their family/friendship group is a representative sample of all homeschoolers.

Different strokes for different folks.
Most families who home educate have gone down the school route, and often have other children who do attend school, it's the best of both words. There's no one size fits all.