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Secondary education

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Original poster

Secondary School Stalemate -help!

48 replies

shoogal · 24/10/2023 10:49

Secondary school applications are due end of the month and we are stuck between 2 for my son….

School A
Our catchment school
Small, rural
Felt welcoming at open evening
Some current classmates going and most dc in our village
free bus- 20 mins

School B
Larger, rural
Shinier eg better facilities, better kept
Lots of extracurricular at breaks/after school
More trips according to Facebook
Bus 20 mins at a cost of £1000 a year, leaves 20 mins later so more time in bed!

Both schools are similar on results.

Husband wants school A as it’s catchment, he went there, thinks it would suit son more and free bus.

I’m on the fence. We’ve had terrible time with older sibling who due to asd etc has school refused for years. I just want my son to be happy and go to school.

My son wants school B as most of his friends are going there and it looks better (!)

What to do? Pay £1000 for the bus because friends are going? Even though these friendships might not last (his best friends aren’t going to either school).

Help!

OP posts:
OhCrumbsWhereNow · 24/10/2023 11:38

School B - larger means more chances of being able to run teams, clubs, GCSE options, friendship pool

JustWingItLifeEyelinerEverything · 24/10/2023 11:45

What is your child like? What is he interested in? Is he sporty? Shy? Soul of a party?

Look at the clubs.

Is he academic? Do you plan for him A levels ? University? Check then GCSE results Progress8 for both schools

Original poster
shoogal · 24/10/2023 11:47

Good points, thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
shoogal · 24/10/2023 11:49

My son is a good all rounder-quite academic, quite sporty, good at most things but needs a push. Can be shy but never had any problems making friends. Yes probably a levels. Both have a good selection, larger school more. Progress 8 v similar but school A slightly better.

OP posts:
Riverlee · 24/10/2023 11:50

What’s the chances of getting into school B if it’s outside catchment? Do many children from your area go there? If you put B, and don’t get it, will you get A? Or another school less desirable further away?

BoohooWoohoo · 24/10/2023 11:51

How small is small? I would go towards school B- 20 minute trip is very reasonable and bigger school may mean more clubs and opportunities. If a school is too small then friendship opportunities may be limited and fall outs magnified.

tiglit · 24/10/2023 11:52

Oh that's really tough, before seeing your son's opinion I swayed A. What are the school results like?

ScarboroughHair · 24/10/2023 11:53

I was going to say School A, mainly on the basis of friends being local, until you got to the part about your son's preference.
I don't advocate the child being given free choice, but in this particular example there's not that much to choose between the schools, there are pros and cons to both. You could make a perfectly valid argument for either of them. That being the case, I would lean towards letting your son decide. Him being invested in the school is important too. However, I would consider a) are you in a position to drive him around to visit friends who live a bit further afield (or is there a bus?) and b) have a conversation with him about the potential downsides of friends living further away.

Original poster
shoogal · 24/10/2023 11:54

Riverlee · 24/10/2023 11:50

What’s the chances of getting into school B if it’s outside catchment? Do many children from your area go there? If you put B, and don’t get it, will you get A? Or another school less desirable further away?

A good chance of getting B.
Most of village go to A, a couple go to B and a couple of people drive to bus stop to go to B. Oh I hadn’t thought of that? I’m not sure, probably A as catchment, if spaces. Last year everyone got their first choice.

OP posts:
cansu · 24/10/2023 11:54

A no contest .

MidnightOnceMore · 24/10/2023 11:55

School B as both are good and your son has a clear preference.

Original poster
shoogal · 24/10/2023 11:56

BoohooWoohoo · 24/10/2023 11:51

How small is small? I would go towards school B- 20 minute trip is very reasonable and bigger school may mean more clubs and opportunities. If a school is too small then friendship opportunities may be limited and fall outs magnified.

Not too small. 175 intake school A, 240 school B

OP posts:
Original poster
shoogal · 24/10/2023 11:57

tiglit · 24/10/2023 11:52

Oh that's really tough, before seeing your son's opinion I swayed A. What are the school results like?

Both very similar, otherwise may be more clearcut

OP posts:
Pinkdelight3 · 24/10/2023 11:58

Reading your first post my reaction was there's no downsides to A. The extras that B has aren't things that really matter, shininess etc and you can take him on trips. The travel hassle and cost is a minus, so why even consider it. Then you said DS wants B, which is in its favour, but then most kids start over with friendships at secondary and it's not really on DS to make the decision at this point. I'd go with A, but if you can suck up the cost and hassle for B easily enough then fair enough. They're both good options so don't angst too much. Your other DS's issues weren't down to your decisions I'm sure, you can't predict the future.

slopsan · 24/10/2023 11:59

You need to think ahead. Teens like to be independent and this is far easier if they go to local school. Unless the further away school has obvious advantages I would always opt for the local one.

Original poster
shoogal · 24/10/2023 12:00

ScarboroughHair · 24/10/2023 11:53

I was going to say School A, mainly on the basis of friends being local, until you got to the part about your son's preference.
I don't advocate the child being given free choice, but in this particular example there's not that much to choose between the schools, there are pros and cons to both. You could make a perfectly valid argument for either of them. That being the case, I would lean towards letting your son decide. Him being invested in the school is important too. However, I would consider a) are you in a position to drive him around to visit friends who live a bit further afield (or is there a bus?) and b) have a conversation with him about the potential downsides of friends living further away.

Yes both good schools and pros and cons to both. I wonder how much we should let my son away the decision. He is generally quite sensible. I think it’s partly paying for the school bus. It will cost us £6000 more over the 7 years. But I want my son to be happy.

OP posts:
Original poster
shoogal · 24/10/2023 12:01

shoogal · 24/10/2023 12:00

Yes both good schools and pros and cons to both. I wonder how much we should let my son away the decision. He is generally quite sensible. I think it’s partly paying for the school bus. It will cost us £6000 more over the 7 years. But I want my son to be happy.

Show quote history

Oh and friends from either school could technically live miles away and that isn’t a problem really

OP posts:
FallingAutumnLeaf · 24/10/2023 12:02

School B, because you and DH can't make up your minds, and DS has expressed a preference.

Unless- there is no way back after any extra curriculum stuff - so the paid bus lear at, say, 3.30. What happens if he stays til 4.30?

stonedaisy · 24/10/2023 12:02

Wow you're super lucky to have two schools you would be happy with. This end my friends are panicking like mad as they're unlikely to get the school they want and the other options are not good..

ItsmeImtheproblem200 · 24/10/2023 12:04

One million percent school A.

tiglit · 24/10/2023 12:07

The thing I would be mindful of with school buses is that the prices change, our school's prices have gone up dramatically the last few years. Also, routes can change, if it's not a catchment school there is no guarantee the route will remain.

If it were me, with the school bus price and the fact school A is the catchment school, I would stick with catchment. We need to go back to the days where you go to your local school IMO. If school B outperformed school A or had something really head and shoulders above the rest then of course I would do school B, but where it's so tied I'd stick to catchment.

Whilst we listened to DS's opinion, he's 11/12, you make the decision. School friendships dramatically change in high school, it's not a good reason to base a school on.

cansu · 24/10/2023 12:07

What happens if he stays late can you pick him up easily?

Bluevelvetsofa · 24/10/2023 13:05

I’m going to say that you should at least put A as one of your preferences, because if B has a bulge class, or changed admission criteria, you might not get a place.

I say this a lot, but you are not choosing school, you’re expressing a preference, which may or may not be granted.

MrsAvocet · 24/10/2023 13:38

Is the bus to B a dedicated school bus and are there alternatives like a regular bus service? Bear in mind that the extra curricular activities are likely to be after school so the dedicated bus will have gone. If there's no regular bus service home then you'll either have to collect or you may be able to arrange car sharing if there are other parents in your village in the same position. Same may apply to school A of course but if the majority of local children go there then it's more likely that you'll be able to lift share. Having lots of extracurricular activities is only good if you can actually access them.
We had a similar situation though our school B is about 30 mins away, but it's also head and shoulders above our school A academically so it made the decision easier. For us there is no question that the inconvenience and additional cost have been worth it as the advantages of our B very clearly outweigh the disadvantages. But there are disadvantages - after school pick ups, collecting if they're ill, friends living long distances away etc - and if we had had another good school nearby I would probably have opted for the closer one. You get used to it and there are work arounds but there are times when I wish we had a school nearer home.

clary · 24/10/2023 13:46

I see you have said how small and big - I don;t think that's much of a difference then. Personally I wouldn't be keen on a school of less than about 900 pupils as much less IME offers fewer options for GCSE and sports teams and the like. But 175 in a year is OK.

What is the GCSE offer like at the smaller school?

Does either school have a sixth form? this may colour your view.

You know that if you plump for B, you can put A next on your form and you have just as much chance of being allocated it (ie pretty certain) as if you had put it first?

Hmmmm overall I would ahgree with the PP who says it doesn;t matter that much. If there is not much advantage to the £1k school bus one, I might put the other one and save that money . And as another PP said, bus rtoutes might change etc wheras I imagine the bus to the catchment school will continue to be offered. Woudl DS be able to walk to the bus for school B? You mentuon that some ppl drive to it?