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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Mixed or single sex for a girl?

59 replies

VoiceofRaisins56 · 21/10/2023 10:24

My DD could get in to a good comp on a sibling place (DS is already there, and likes it). Or a good girls school on a distance place. I cannot decide what to put first on the form. Both Ofsted outstanding. She’d like to be with her brother. I went to a girls’ school and I did well academically. I have difficulty getting my head round the idea of dealing with boys while you’re trying to learn maths. But is my own prejudice colouring my view? Is it better to keep them together if that’s what they want?

OP posts:

HawaiiWake · 21/10/2023 10:53

I am in the camp of listening to DD since she will be spending 7 years daily and if she wants to go to a school with her brother maybe it would suit her.
Otherwise the first time she will be dealing with boys in a work or class situation would be at university.

SparkyBlue · 21/10/2023 11:00

Which school does she prefer? We are currently looking at secondary schools for DD and an all girls is the absolute favourite of both of us but it's not because it's all girls it's because we really liked it and it's the school that DD can see herself attending if that makes sense. In your circumstances I'd send her to school with her sibling.

DustyLee123 · 21/10/2023 11:36

Let her go with her brother.

clary · 21/10/2023 12:11

I went to a single-sex girls grammar school (tbh the only sensible option for me where I lived) and it was not a good thing really. I am sure I would still have got my A in maths with boys in the class; I would also have been a bit better able to deal with them. University was a big shock as @HawaiiWake mentions.

OTOH I know people who chose all-girls' schools and were very happy; research does suggest girls do better academically in single-sex.

But in this case, sounds as tho she already knows about the co-ed comp, her DB is there, it's familiar, she wants to go there. I would put that first if I were you.

GingerLiberalFeminist · 21/10/2023 12:13

Research indicates girls do better in single sex education and boys do better in mixed. My DH and I want our DD to go to single sex for this reason.

Comedycook · 21/10/2023 12:15

My dd goes to a single sex secondary school. I'm so happy we choose it. The other choice was to go to the same school as her brother. One big benefit of the single sex school has been that she has a much wider pool of girls to be friends with. She was in a very boy heavy primary class and it was a huge issue and affected her socially. She also told me when she started at secondary that she found it much easier to concentrate without boys being disruptive and boisterous. Definitely the right choice for us.

Marblessolveeverything · 21/10/2023 12:16

I would go with the school with lived experience. The research typically quoted is a small group in the 60s.

I went to mixed school, my son's attends mixed both have friends of both sex.

Comedycook · 21/10/2023 12:19

For us it was a clear cut decision as my dd didn't want to go to the same school with her brother and he didn't really want her there ruining his street cred 😂. Also my DD favours female friendships and really isn't bothered about not mixing with boys. In your situation op, I think you probably need to listen to your DD and discuss pros and cons

Parker231 · 21/10/2023 12:26

We purposely chose a co Ed school for DT’s. Don’t agree with single sex schools.

EBearhug · 21/10/2023 12:26

If I had a daughter, my preference would be for single sex. I went to a single sex secondary. We did see boys - school bus, mixed drama events and language exchanges, after school clubs, plus it was just a small town anyway.

But she'd like to be with her brother (though she won't be sharing lessons, and he'll leave before she does, though that's presumably a little while off.) You know and like the other school, it's easier to get to. It's a difficult decision... I think I'd want to hear from girls (or mothers of girls) in the school to hear their experiences.

In this case, I think I'd be more in favour of the mixed school - whereas, had the daughter been the older child, I'd have probably gone for single sex without question.

Seeline · 21/10/2023 12:26

I would look at things like how many girls take stem subjects for GCSE/A level compared to the boys. What are the pass rates for girls compared to boys.
I would look carefully at the ethos of the girls school - you want one which instills a sense of confidence in the students.
Personally having gone to a girls school where all subjects were freely accessible and treated equally, where all girls could speak in class without being put down, where we could enjoy PE without being stared at, and could walk down a corridor without having bra straps pinged, I know what my choice would be. Both my DCs went single sex.

Bluevelvetsofa · 21/10/2023 13:05

I went to a girls grammar. I loved it, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea. Too narrow an experience.

thing47 · 21/10/2023 17:59

At the risk of stating the bleeding obvious, the research often quoted only concerns the academics, ie girls do slightly better academically in a single-sex environment. There is no evidence that they do better socially.

For every girl who hated a single-sex school environment, you'll find another who loved it. For that reason, it really is down to individual preference, yours and your DD's, combined with knowledge of the school, knowledge of your own daughter etc. @VoiceofRaisins56 you have a big advantage here in that you're already familiar with one of the options - why not take your DD to the all-girls school once or twice? Chances are, she will either definitely 'see' herself going there or not.

clary · 21/10/2023 20:05

Good post @thing47 - the "academically" bit is often ignored but it is key as far as I am concerned. Academics are very important, but they are not the only important thing.

theduchessofspork · 21/10/2023 20:07

I would let her do what she wants as they are both good schools

I don’t think single sex or co-Ed matters really (I mean I know girls in single sex do slightly better, but I imagine it’s only significant on a population level)

Confusion101 · 21/10/2023 20:10

Having taught in both, I would definitely pick a mixed school if the decision were solely mine but ultimately I'd listen to what your DD wants.

Original poster

VoiceofRaisins56 · 21/10/2023 20:15

@Confusion101 Thats interesting Confusion. I would’ve assumed a teacher would say behaviour is better in a girls’ school. Is that wrong? That’s really the main attraction for me.
She prefers the idea of the mixed comp, I think because it’s a known quantity and the girls’ is more unknown. And the girls’ has an above average Progress 8, the mixed has a squarely average one. I prefer the girls. 😬

OP posts:

Crunched · 21/10/2023 20:15

My DD's ended up in a single sex school due to availability in my area (independent sector). Despite excellent grades, I regret this.
Thankfully DD2 went co-ed for sixth form.
Research indicates girls do better in single sex education academically but not in other ways...

Parker231 · 21/10/2023 20:17

clary · 21/10/2023 20:05

Good post @thing47 - the "academically" bit is often ignored but it is key as far as I am concerned. Academics are very important, but they are not the only important thing.

We chose social over academic and with b/g DT’s - it was important to us that they were at the same school.

Confusion101 · 21/10/2023 20:17

@VoiceofRaisins56 I suppose it depends how you measure good behaviour. The level of bullying was far higher in the girls' schools in comparison to the mixed schools that I taught in.

oplease · 21/10/2023 20:21

GingerLiberalFeminist · 21/10/2023 12:13

Research indicates girls do better in single sex education and boys do better in mixed. My DH and I want our DD to go to single sex for this reason.

And what does research indicate about children who are sent to the school of their parent's choice rather than their own? I doubt that study has been done.

If the OP's daughter prefers a mixed school, she should go to a mixed school.

margotsdevil · 21/10/2023 20:23

As an experienced secondary teacher I always find a heavily boy weighted or mixed class easier than a female dominated group. Just something in the dynamics. Behaviour is superficially better but there is definitely more of an undercurrent. I say that as someone who would say that behaviour/classroom relationships is a strength.

I'd not take a job in an all girls school although I would be happy in a boys school.

Newgirls · 21/10/2023 20:27

My girls went to a good mixed comp. They are academic girls and have done well there. They both made friends with boys which I think is very healthy and normal. Yes there are a few characters but the teachers seem to manage it all well. If the school gets good results then go for it. I think it’s good for siblings to go to same school if they can so they have things in common. It can be very easy for dif gender siblings to grow apart as teens and a bit of school gossip etc might be bonding

Original poster

VoiceofRaisins56 · 21/10/2023 20:28

So interesting to hear this from teachers. I assumed I’d be doing her a favour removing her from bra-strap pinging boys, as a previous poster has mentioned.

OP posts:

Newgirls · 21/10/2023 20:29

These days if a boy pings a bra strap he’s going to get cancelled pretty quickly

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