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Original poster

11 plus help!

28 replies

Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 01:22

So my wonderful boy has failed bexley by 5 marks.

He was expected to pass and pass well.

He had nausea on the day of the test but still felt he did ok test wise so I didn't visit a doctor or anything.

He is currently under some care due to health concerns that could have impacted his test performance but I did not link this to any 11 plus performance and we are waiting for a hospital referral and with pressure on NHS I did not think to push for it as was waiting for 11 plus to be over to keep chasing my GP as they are hard to get appointments with .

He typically gets really good school reports all well above average. I think the only at expected was for science and maybe music?

His 11 plus tutor is very shocked and said he always performed very highly in mocks and in the tutor group.

Shall I speak to his head teacher about a Bexley appeal or review?

There is still Kent tomorrow to hope for.

His school reports are excellent.

He has not been in school so much in year 6. I don't have much by way of doctors forms until after the 11 plus. His primary school are very disorganised and not many children sit for 11 plus and as we are out of the area but within the distance for Bexley grammars I may need to see if the Head will support a review. Is there anything I should get together for the school such as past copies of school reports?
Or is 5/6 marks too far away?

Can I ask Bexley to check his answer sheet at all?

OP posts:
Original poster
Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 01:26

He is now back at school but before Bexley test he needed some time off for illness.

This is such a mess, I should have made a report but he was looking like too 180 material in mocks so I thought he might dip but not miss out.

I guess there is kent tomorrow and although Bexley was the next day he was much better for Kent, although it was super hot.

He was unwell for Bexley, but I was over confident. What a mistake!

OP posts:
Original poster
Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 02:58

It looks like Bexley give next to zero appeals .. never mind. I guess that is the 11 plus journey coming to an end. Anyone out there do not make my mistake.

Do more prep and have some fail safe options.

I should have moved area.

Shame my local is just so poor.

OP posts:
historyrepeatz · 18/10/2023 03:09

I'm sorry to hear that. Hope he's not too disappointed. If you were within Bexley I would have said there's no harm in putting the grammars on the form and talking to your head about making an appeal as you have six choices on the form so would still be able to put 3 non grammars.

Original poster
Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 03:27

Thank you for responding at this time. It seems appeals in Bexley are rarely granted and he is too far off the qualifying score.

I now wish I had spent more money on tuition.

As for Kent I assume it won't work, even if a Kent pass happens.

I wish I had not opened the email late tonight and had just waited until tomorrow.

Something has gone wrong and I now wish I never had put my child through it. Not everyone can make it into a grammar school. I will talk to the Head but they don't generally respond on more basic things so I doubt they will assist.

OP posts:
historyrepeatz · 18/10/2023 03:40

From what you say it sounds like your son had a really bad day which probably wouldn't have been helped with more tuition. I wouldn't be beating yourself up thinking you should have done more.

I didn't schedule grammar visits until after the results and have been to see a secondary just outside of Bexley that DS seemed to warm too. We are inside Bexley but not far from a Greenwich and Bromley. It's possible he might prefer that to the grammars and we are open to it as it might be right for him.

Some kids move into grammar after doing another exam in a year so that is an option but moving schools if settled might not be nice. The grammar schools also all seem to have large sixth forms and take a fair few from non selective who do well at GCSE's. Fingers crossed for Kent for you tomorrow.

historyrepeatz · 18/10/2023 03:40

That should say fingers crossed for today!

Original poster
Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 04:05

Hi, I can't sleep with the worry of it all. Thanks for your message it made me cry.

We went on some school visits before the results and now regret that too.

The preparation was started too late. I think I thought my child would perform well. Perhaps he was sick with nerves. I do not think I can ask my son to do another year of work to sit an exam. Trying to Tutor myself has interfered with my role too much and my employer got very sick of my ducking off for school visits and exams. That is why I got a tutor! My job is likely at risk due to a buy out.

My alarm will go off in 90 mins.

I don't know what to tell my child?

OP posts:
historyrepeatz · 18/10/2023 06:23

Poor you, no sleep and an early start. It sounds very hard given that he was doing so well in preparation and it was unexpected. I had quite a few conversations with DS prior to the exam telling him that not passing one exam at 10 is not the end of the world. I also told him that we wanted to find the school that felt right and even if he passed he was free to prefer a non selective school. I would tell him that one test and one bad day does not define him. Treat him and praise him for all his hard work. 💐 remember the work you did is not wasted.

Original poster
Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 07:09

Yes thank you. I did try to keep stress at bay.
Hopefully he won't mind but there just isn't a good school option. That is the concern. A pass at Kent would mean a swift move.

OP posts:
Jellycats4life · 18/10/2023 09:45

I’m sorry @Helpmeeatcake it’s a tough old system completely reliant on how well your child does on the day. Fingers crossed the Kent result is better.

Original poster
Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 10:51

If people can post when they get a kent result that would be great too.

l don't feel my child has passed Kent either.

I hope I am pleasantly surprised.

It just is what it is.

OP posts:
SamPoodle123 · 18/10/2023 11:52

@Helpmeeatcake I always feel like what is meant to be will be. I know it is stressful, but it will work out in the end. You might get a surprise and your ds might have gotten into Kent. I thought my dd did not get into one school because she said she bombed the test after she took it. She literally said do not expect an invite to interview. I bombed it. It was the first test she took and I thought OH SH*% And she ended up passing it. And I know of dc who thought they did well in exams and did not pass. So you cannot really know until you get the results. There still may be hope for Kent. And if he did not pass, focus on what schools he might get into. Try and look for the positives in them.

Bluevelvetsofa · 18/10/2023 13:51

It’s worth considering that if your child passed after having had tutoring, he might struggle in the highly academic system. It’s not suited to everyone and perhaps he’ll thrive elsewhere.

Original poster
Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 14:01

I am not sure that is helpful right now but I appreciate you are trying to manage expectations.

OP posts:
Jellycats4life · 18/10/2023 14:11

Bluevelvetsofa · 18/10/2023 13:51

It’s worth considering that if your child passed after having had tutoring, he might struggle in the highly academic system. It’s not suited to everyone and perhaps he’ll thrive elsewhere.

All parents who are serious about the 11+ do some form of tutoring, whether by the parents themselves at home, outside tutors or sending them to prep schools.

The idea that the only worthy child of a grammar place is one that hasn’t had any tutoring is a myth, because these children don’t really exist (although I’m waiting to hear about all the kids who did absolutely zero prep and got top marks in 3… 2… 1…).

My point being, I dislike the rather snobbish idea that to tutor a child is to set them up for failure once they reach grammar school.

Original poster
Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 14:14

Thanks jellycatsforlife
... where there is hope there is life ..

OP posts:
Jellycats4life · 18/10/2023 14:34

I didn’t want to aggressively tutor my child (I knew she wouldn’t agree to intense prep anyway 🙃). I really wanted her to do well on merit.

However, all of those lofty ideals go out of the window when you consider how many kids ARE aggressively tutored and are pushed quite relentlessly by their parents. So we had no option but to tutor for a short while before the exam, simply to have some chance against those kids.

Apparently Kent results are out @Helpmeeatcake

Original poster
Helpmeeatcake · 18/10/2023 14:50

Thanks again, no result for me. I can only really assume it is another no.

OP posts:
MavisTheMonkey · 18/10/2023 15:02

Hi @helpmeeatcake the Kent test results are emailed today AFTER 4pm so don't write it off yet.
My son failed bexley as test day was a logistical mess- then ended up taking the test at Beth's, it lasted 4+ hours and at some point I know he mentally gave up. He did pass the Kent test with a really strong score which I felt was reflective of his ability.

historyrepeatz · 18/10/2023 15:04

Our email just came through a few minutes ago. Try not to stress.

Fullofpudding · 20/10/2023 00:34

@Helpmeeatcake how did your DS get on with the Kent test?

historyrepeatz · 22/10/2023 10:39

@Helpmeeatcake hope you are doing okay.

Aoide1 · 22/10/2023 14:11

Hi there, I visited Beths last week and the headmaster said that this year they will be considering children that failed the Bexley test but passed the kent test. And these children will be considered by distance from the school. You will need to send Beth’s your kent pass certificate.
also, if dartford is an option then they offer to 90 children within DA1 in score order then then 90 children outside of dartford in score order.

XelaM · 22/10/2023 14:57

Jellycats4life · 18/10/2023 14:11

All parents who are serious about the 11+ do some form of tutoring, whether by the parents themselves at home, outside tutors or sending them to prep schools.

The idea that the only worthy child of a grammar place is one that hasn’t had any tutoring is a myth, because these children don’t really exist (although I’m waiting to hear about all the kids who did absolutely zero prep and got top marks in 3… 2… 1…).

My point being, I dislike the rather snobbish idea that to tutor a child is to set them up for failure once they reach grammar school.

Show quote history

So true!! It's literally impossible to pass these tests without some form of tutoring and the most difficult part about most of these schools is getting in. Once you're in, most of them aren't very pushy at all.

emmagow13 · 29/10/2023 13:26

Don't waste your time. I went through this last year with some who was under consultant care and about to start treatment for severe, undiagnosable stomach pains. Missed by 0.425 of a mark so rounded down. Had letters of support from several consultants, therapists, sports coaches for 3 sports at district levels and school. As he didn't get the score would not admit him. End of. His symptoms definitely stopped him from performing well. They said we should have postponed test. I said it was getting worse and had medical evidence to back this up. Not interested. There are that many kids who passed and missed out on a place due to distance that said wouldn't be fair to give our son a spot over them. Took 9 months of stress, anxiety, headaches, literally damaged my health due to the stress of it as son had not been given any school on list in March either. Appeals are there to make out that they are listening to parents but they really aren't bothered. Learned from process that your child is a number and they don't have a vested interest in where your child attends school so 🤷 My son wasn't tutored and was expected to pass. Passed Kent test on a day when was symptom free 🤷So, as devastating as it is (and I know exactly how you are feeling right now) I would accept the outcome, save yourself a lot of stress and time and concentrate on getting him into another school. Persuing an appeal means several of your school choices get taken up by selective schools which limits places for other schools on your list. Places are v limited in all schools as it is, without limiting your options. We learned the hard way after being poorly advised and believing that with medical backing we had a good case. Nothing works once you are deemed non selective.