Twins want to go to different secondary schools

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My two both have different opinions and preferences on secondary schools.
DT1 - local school about 25 min walk (school A)
DT2 - school further away about 45 mins walking and bus (school B)
I must admit I am torn between the two schools so I don’t have a problem with the ones they have chosen as the ones they like. I was thinking that they would both end up with each other’s chosen school as 2nd preference anyways because of what I felt was appropriate. It’s also likely they would both then end up at A.
I was then going to let them choose their own 3rd preference because I can’t make my mind up and we are pretty much guaranteed school A. They both have different opinions on their chosen third preference as well. One likes school C and the other school D. However, to complicate things, DT2 wants B, D then A. I don’t know whether to just go with this knowing they will definitely end up in different schools or to put my foot down because “mother knows best” and put what I want down so they end up in the same school (even though I am 100% clueless and going on instinct…?)

I'm not sure we can agree to disagree as I still don't understand your point. None of the things you mention require any degree of headspace

For you @Bookish88 . Not for everyone. I'm not some wacky outlier solely of this opinion - there are other posts on the thread saying largely the same. It's a difference of opinion. Not the majority view but a valid one nonetheless.

If you can't agree to disagree then rest securely in the knowledge that you're right and anyone that thinks differently is wrong 🙃

I have three children at three different schools. I'm not keen on the first one, but the other two are at schools which suit them. Sometimes the holidays don't align.

However, the main criteria was that they could get there independently. We wouldn't have considered them if they couldn't,

I have twins in different secondary schools. They each preferred different schools and are suited to different schools, so that's what we've ended up with!

I have younger kids in other schools too, but as long I can physically make the school runs work, I want them all in the best school for the individual.

I'm not sure you've specifically said but I guess they're happy to be in different schools?

They have both expressed their preferences for schools and they have spent Y5 and Y6 in different classes because they were sick of being “the twins” and it has worked well for them, so I am assuming so. I will make sure this is what they definitely want though.

One isn't going to be leaning on the other to change preferences?

I don’t think so. But I shall make sure that it’s made clear that they need to respect each other’s decisions and not persuade each other to change their minds.

you need to have really really really considered the logistics

I’m starting to see from some of the comments that logistics need a good think about. I will have a really good think about these.

Positives are that they can both be their own person without pressure from others preconceived ideas of them.

I think this is one of the drivers behind them wanting different schools. They went through a phase in Y4 where they kept clashing (not always with positive outcomes) and were referred to as “the twins” as if they were one person, which is why they eventually ended up in different classes for Y5.

didn't want her not to have her choice just because she is a twin.

This is one of my driving factors for trying to respect their individual choices. They only have a choice of 4 schools. I only let them go and see the ones I was happy with, I had done some pre-vetting but doesn’t mean I don’t have my own ideas about preferring A and B over C and D. Unfortunately, 10 year olds do talk and can understand things, so they understand from primary school they get 3 choices/preferences and I was slightly too late with restricting to A and B as 1st/2nd.

@clary thank you for that detailed analysis of everything that has been said so far. That’s really helpful to have another’s views on the comments as a collective. Much appreciated. Thank you also for the additional questions which I need to get to the bottom of. I’ll certainly be doing that.

I'm with the others who say it's really no big deal to have DCs at different secondary schools. It's different from primary - there is a lot less parental involvement and they tend to manage things themselves - they are the ones to deal with theme days etc, not the parents. Parents evenings aren't necessarily on the same day even if they are at the same school - ours weren't. The only real issue is distance/ease of transport for after school clubs if there isn't any appropriate public transport.

I have 3DC and they all chose different secondary schools. All 3 schools were decent, so we encouraged them to pick the schools that suited them individually. It honestly never occurred to us to do anything different. As it happened, 2 ended up at the same school anyway. For us, transport was pretty inconvenient for each of them (it ended up being worse for DC3 by quite a way as the council cancelled the bus after 1 year). But it's pretty normal where we live to have kids in different schools. Youngest is now Y12 and other than potential transport issues, I can honestly say it never occurred to me that different schools might be considered a problem. Mine would have been quite resentful if they were forced to go to a school they didn't want, just because a sibling had chosen it. As a parent, I really wouldn't have wanted to have that conversation!

It’s looking like having them in different schools is something we can make work as many of you have done and talking their opinions into account is a good thing.

I haven’t ruled out putting my foot down yet and there have certainly been things raised which we need to get to the bottom of and take into consideration.

I’m going to ring the schools tomorrow and see if we can arrange visits and get the lists of questions sorted out that we can ask. Hopefully then that will provide a better overview of each school and I will know what DC1 and DC2 are basing their decisions on.

It sounds like they appreciate being separate, which is understandable.
Do they know how much bigger secondary school is and they become smaller fish in a larger pond? They might have the space they need at the same school.

I am really surprised they were in the same class at primary school if they had more than a 1 form entry. I am a twin and we were separated as soon as we started school. I thought this was standard practice.

You definitely need to find out why they have chosen different schools - if this is just because they want to be in separate classes this can be achieved within 1 school

You have to submit one CAF per child, with an individual ranked set of preferences on each.

@MarchingFrogs yes. Doesn't change how allocations work once a sibling is placed somewhere.

Having a sibling in school x (even of only just), which that twin will be offered because they are high enough up the ranking and it is their first effective preference may shift an applicant up the ranking for that school, but if the second twin had ranked school y higher, and can be offered that, school y shoukd be their offer, and school x their twin's.

The School Standards and Framework Act says that parental preference should be met, except where it would prejudice the efficient use of resources. So you don't randomly give school A a few extra pupils, past the school's PAN, when there are places to spare at school B/C/D etc. Allocating place to a second twin, when the first twin would be offered the last available space, is an allowable exception to the 'not prejudicing the efficient use of resources' rule. But if the parents' ranking of preferences for each twin on their individual CAF demonstrates that this is not a priority, it would be very bizarre for the LA to ignore the ranking on one child's CAFand allocate a place at what for them is a lower preference school, if the offer of a place at a hogher preference school can be made.

I had 3 different schools for many years. 2 years 1 was a primary school 4 3 secondary schools

It was honestly never a issue to sort all of this. 2 of them had active PTA 1 not an active PTA.

Kept the calender up to date and in many ways harvest festivals etc were easier to manage than when I had to get 4 into primary with their 4 lots of harvest contributions.

We only twice had clashes and one was over a after school detention dd1 got when I was only managing 2 schools. Pta at primary and dd 1 unable to get home as no bus then. Worked with the school to resolve it. Once 2 awards ceremonies clashed. Dh went to 1 I went to the other.

Parents evenings are separate anyway if the kids are not the same age so doesn't matter if yoh go to school A or B. With twins I'd have thought it a lot easier to get a parents evening if you don't need 2 lots of slots.

Rules and regulations are not all that different in secondaries you learn as you go along if something is wastly different..most of that IS in your teenager to deal with.

Inset days can be different yes but I took them as days where if I could be off we could do something with the child who had an inset day. Again this actually didn't happen much as most are just tagged to holidays. I did recently get a photo memory on facebook where I had taken my 3 daughters out for breakfast. I was asked where ds was and I replied at school the others all have inset day. One replied he must be marked and I responded. Not really.he knows we will go out for b fast when he has an inset day.

Uniform shopping was never a issue even when I had 2 different shops to use.

I did have input in school listing but in this case where op doesn't feel much difference in the schools I would - and did - let my child's wishes come 1st.

I have twins in different secondary schools (currently in year 8 ) and I haven’t found the logistics any more challenging than having them in different classes in primary tbh.
Holiday dates sometimes vary by a day or two and they often have different INSET days but as they don’t need childcare now it’s largely irrelevant.
Two sets of uniform is just two sets of uniform, it’s neither here to there that they’re not the same uniform. Yes it’s different apps/systems but I’ve not found that to be an issue.
Mine do their sports outside of school rather than school clubs (one does a niche sport which isn’t offered at school anyway) so I’d have the clashes of sporting fixtures regardless of school.
If they’ve got solid reasons for their preferences AND you feel they’re picking the school that would be right for them, then I’d encourage them to go for it (as long as the transport logistics are doable). It’s hard being a twin and being forever known as ‘the twins’ and compared to your sibling. Both mine have said how positive it feels to be wholly themselves at school and not one of the twins (they still get on v well outside school - if not better than when they were at the same school in fact)