Year 10 - 2023/2024 Support Thread

[QueenMabby]

Hi all

A new thread for those needing support (or just wanting to chat or rant!) with teens heading into their GCSE years.

She got a £15 book token and it only lasted 2 hours!

Dd also got a surprise music award too - a massive cup (she has to give it back but she does get her name engraved on it) and another £15 book token!

@QueenMabby well that's totally worth it! Well done on your DD. She sounds very talented.

How are the DCs doing a few weeks into year 10?

DS seems to be ok for the moment, on top of his homework and engaged in lessons so far. He was keen to show me a writing task he had done in school for "An Inspector Calls", it looked good to me and I was glad he was proud of it enough to show it to me!
I think he's doing further maths too. I'm a bit concerned as that'll be 11 GCSE's and how he will cope with it. I don't know if it's a "full" GCSE but it's still additional work. I just wish he could drop RE as he's really not keen on it but it's compulsory.

@DataColour - I think FM is more "further depth" than the amount of work you might expect from a separate gcse.

My dd is also doing 11 in 2025 and it's a lot. Workload is ok so far but she's full on in the drama department with musical rehearsals most days and of course has her extra gcse that she'll be doing this year which also takes up one lunch hour and two after school slots. Very busy but she's enjoying all of her lessons and likes her teacher which is a relief!

It's a shame your ds has to do RE it's awful when there's a compulsory subject they hate. We have to do an MFL and my ds took Spanish and loathed every minute!

@DataColour how nice that he wanted to show you! My older DD loved 'an inspector calls' ... I hope he does too. Definitely worth trying to find a production of it (they often tour) to take him to as well.

11 GCSEs is a LOT @QueenMabby and @DataColour . DD1 did 10.5 and it felt like a lot of subjects. DD2, at music school, will do 8 - she's been allowed to drop RE, which was only a half GCSE short course, and has replaced it with music practice periods, which is great as she is VERY busy.

Academically she is finding the change rather odd. Her school started GCSEs in Year 9, so she's already done a year of GCSE content. Says she feels like Hermione Grainger in all the classes because she's always finished first. Given that the rest of it is a massive change though this is probably good. She's definitely struggling with all the sport - there was almost none at old school and it's a very big thing now.

How do you do 0.5 of a gcse @minisnowballs??

Dd has also come home saying she might do an HPQ too (Higher Project Qualification so basically the GCSE version of the EPQ you can do with A Levels). I'm assuming she'll stop signing up for things at some point - hopefully sooner rather than later!

DS seems to have settled in well. He hasn’t had a huge amount of homework yet I don’t think but seems to be getting on ok in his classes and with his options.
We have the parent info evening this week but am making DH go as I have a late
meeting in town.

They are called ‘short courses’- not really sure what the point of them is really @QueenMabby

Hope everyone's dc are well settled in. Dd is getting LOTS of tests: 4 or 5 this week plus the Senior Maths Challenge on Tuesday. Anyone else's dc doing that one? DS (year 13) is also doing the Senior Maths Challenge so it'll be the first year they've both gone head to head.....

DS is getting more homework than in year 9 that's for sure. So far only one test for Biology which is tomorrow. Music is setting them quite a bit of homework. Have to prepare a piece for end of half term and he's getting on with that mostly.

We had an exeat this weekend which means we finally got DD home. We also bumped into her old schoolfriends on a school trip on the train (which was bittersweet for me - DD seemed fine). She has few tests, not enough homework to fill her prep time, but then being told to do nearly two hours of homework a night is a significant ramp up for her, and an awful lot of music practice.

But she says she is really happy and feels more 'like her' at the new school so I guess we'll go with it! It was so hard to send her back last night though.

@QueenMabby hope the maths goes well!

Can I join in please?

My DD is in year 10, she's educated away from school as she's autistic and dyslexic and didn't cope in mainstream.

I've got experience of this as my eldest followed a similar path but he's rejoined in mainstream 6th form and is now in year 13 and planning to go to Uni. DD is hoping to rejoin a formal setting in year 12.

She's focusing on 6 GCSEs as that is the entry requirement. My main issue will be getting her to focus, she's often away with the fairies!

She is currently learning to type too as her handwriting is assessed as 5 years behind her ability to verbalise. With the right support and environment she should be capable of getting decent grades.

Hope all of your DC have settled well into year 10 and looking forward to chatting on here.

Hi @lifeturnsonadime I read your post with interest as whilst my year 10 DD is in school, my year 7 DS is AuDHD and currently just started at mainstream secondary, but at the back of my mind is the thought “for how long”?

That’s great to hear that your eldest is coping in sixth form and planning to go to uni. My sister’s eldest didn’t make it into school much at all for year 10 and 11, despite being at a small, nurturing private school. He only sat maths and English GCSEs but got a 4 and a 7 and is now in college and coping much better. The grade 7 blew my sister away as she thought he was doing the foundation paper like he had for maths and thought the highest he could get was a 5 - so when she saw he got a 7 she was thrilled. It was a real confidence boost for him too, as he had lost all belief in himself.

Regarding your DD and focus, do you think she may have ADHD too? My son’s focus in class has been improved with ADHD medication. His hand writing is appalling and he uses a laptop for longer pieces of writing which made a massive difference to his work. He has gone to an understanding/sympathetic school, but he tells me every day that he doesn’t want to go and it does worry me that I might be causing him trauma by making him go. He doesn’t physically resist going and some mornings skips off quite happily - they are allowed into the computing room before form time - and he often comes out happily enough, but at bedtime and first thing in the morning he constantly asks us not to send him. 😢

Quite often in life we have to do things we don’t want to, it’s a lesson we all have to learn, but I just hope I’m not damaging his well-being on the meantime.

@SuperSue77 I think there comes a point where you can tell that it's more than general reluctance. My daughter was, in the end, unable to sleep or eat at all and was non verbal in school. There was more than that but it had got to the point that she couldn't go. I did try to force my eldest in too long and he was damaged as a result but that being said he is fine now.

What you are describing of your son doesn't sound like you are at that point. Just keep an eye on it and make sure that they continue to allow the rest breaks etc. Also have you asked him what the problem is with school because it might be something that's easily addressed?

I do think there may be ADHD, if her focus remains appalling I'll take a look at that. I think she is sick of going through assessments etc. but if it helps....

@lifeturnsonadime thanks for sharing your thoughts about the school attendance. It’s reassuring to hear. I’m in a Facebook group called “Not Fine in School” and a lot of parents talk about forcing their kids to school has damaged their well-being and I really don’t feel we are at that point with my son, but there is always that worry at the back of my mind.

Whilst I’m lucky that he doesn’t mask too much, so I don’t feel things aren’t being bottled up, he does have the odd emotional evening when he just cries and it takes quite a lot of comforting to help him calm down. He doesn’t seem to be able to articulate what it is he doesn’t like about school, well, beyond the fact he thinks it’s a waste of time because he doesn’t think he’ll need what they teach him in later life. He is bright and only needs to be taught something once, so when they go over topics he finds it really frustrating and “a waste of time”. Luckily, his new Computing teacher has already clocked his aptitude for computing and invited him to an invite only coding club and says he will set him differentiated work so that he doesn’t get bored, so I am hoping this will encourage him!

Not Fine in School is a good resource but I think some of the posters are very quick to suggest deregistering when it is not always necessary.

It is great that your son's computing teacher has picked up on the fact that he is getting bored and is going to give him extra work.

Is the school senco aware that he is getting emotional in the evening sometimes? Has he seen the school educational psychologist in the light of the ADHD diagnosis as often they can pick up on little things that might affect his enjoyment in school? They can do classroom observations without the child being aware they are being observed. Ditto occupational therapy, they were very useful particularly for my youngest.

It is very tricky. We all want our kids to go to school and be happy but for so many of them it is not an enjoyable experience and for some it's downright harmful. I think some people thought I had two heads when I stopped trying to force my eldest to go. He was so emotionally damaged by it in the end he was trying to kill himself and ended up unable to engage in education at all for the majority of the high school years. He is exceptionally bright though so it hasn't done him any harm in the long run. Mental health must always come first and school is not the best environment for all children, especially neurodiverse children. But that said not everyone has the luxury of being able to facilitate children at home and if they can be in school it's probably better. I think issues in school have become worse post - covid because children saw that education can be away from school. It certainly seems that more kids are now out of school than before.

@SuperSue77 i think you being watchful is the main thing. It’s when we blindly force them that it can be harmful. You’re not doing that. It does sound like he needs differentiated work but that’s often difficult for teaching staff too.
DD3 (my yr10) hates school - we’ve just had tears tonight. She’s adhd and struggles. But she does go willingly. If I gave her a choice she’d absolutely choose to stay home!!

Gosh it sounds tough having dc with struggles. My dd suffers a bit from anxiety but very minor really and she's never had to stay off school because of it. It sounds like you're all doing a fantastic job of supporting them and fighting their corner though.

It's interesting. I have a couple of friends with dc who struggled massively from years 8-11 - school refusal, EHCPs, ASD diagnoses etc but in both cases the DCs have really found themselves and flourished when they've got to sixth form level.

It's interesting. I have a couple of friends with dc who struggled massively from years 8-11 - school refusal, EHCPs, ASD diagnoses etc but in both cases the DCs have really found themselves and flourished when they've got to sixth form level.

I think A Levels are less of a challenge because they suit special interests more, there is no being forced to do 'irrelevant things'.

The behaviour tends to be better too, so there is less unpredictable behaviour in others to contend with which is much better for ND kids.

@NotDonna sorry your daughter is struggling too, I hope she continues to go in willingly

Absolutely agree @lifeturnsonadime - I have one in Sixth Form. Friends of hers who had really struggled in years 10 and 11 are thriving even though it is the same school. They are enjoying the better behaviour in A level classes and the more relaxed attitude towards them from the teachers. It is great to see as for some of them getting through year 11 was a real struggle.

I used to be one of those people who could never see why people didn't just 'make' their children go to school. I understand now having seen what some of DD1's friends have gone through - it has been awful to watch. School just doesn't work for everyone!

Though I stayed in my school sixth form, it really didn't feel anything like the first few years at school - was educated in a middle school system so we started at 13 in the "third year" but with no first and second years - what is now called year 9. Teaching was better, everyone was friendlier and for breaks there was a big common room where everyone was able to hang out in large groups, though apparently some people were off to eat toast at someone's house near school, to smoke or whatever....

I agree re those struggling with year 7/8+ sometimes flourish at A'levels. In fact that happened to ds1, he wasn't an easy child at all, god he bought me to my knees, but flourished in year 12&13.

Ds2 is fine with school, but kind of thinks it's pointless. I mean most of us don't use trig/nucleus of a cell, on a day-2-day basis do we?

Ds2 has assessment week this week. Very little revision seems to have been done. I've warned him, if grades aren't ok there'll be phone/Xbox/football removal punishments.

He's getting an attitude and been rude to Dh.

Worse still 2 of his friendship group of 4 (ie all 4 of them accused, including him) were accused of bullying a year 7. Turned out 2 boys had. I was horrified. He was not involved at all, but I had firm discussions with HoY to only finally establish that he wasn't even there! And Dh and I had very harsh words indeed to him re how totally inappropriate it was for a year 10 boy to say anything to a year 7 starter. I was not happy.

Assessments galore for my DD too. Really difficult to revise when they’re given so much homework - 10/11 hours per week. Which is a lot if you do after school sports 4 evenings a week and all day Saturday (which she needs to for GCSE PE). I’m finding it hard to help find enough hours in the day. She’s now regretting choosing PE as she’s having no ‘down’ time.

although he’s not guilty, @Oblomov23, you reading the riot act won’t have done him too much harm. They need to know it won’t be tolerated and he definitely knows that now 🤣🤣

Hi all, joining as I have a son in year 10 (and a daughter in year 11 so extra stress 😬), my son is academic enough to get decent results but not very motivated, or under estimates what needs to be done and also under estimates his own ability.

He's also doing an art GCSE which seems to take a lot of time and is possibly a less useful subject but he's creative and very good at drawing so it's good he's doing something he likes.

@lifeturnsonadime interesting to hear your thoughts on school attendance, my youngest currently in year 5 doesn't want to go to school every morning but seems happy enough when he comes out and says his day was okay. @SuperSue77 I'm also in that FB group and agree they are very quick to suggest de-registering your child and telling you you're emotionally damaging them if you don't, I feel it can actually be a bit harmful in that way.
My own sister had problems with school attendance, this was before they chased, blamed and fined parents so she didn't go to school much although still got good GCSE results, she says in her case she just needed a bit more resilience and maturity and not going did more harm to her self-esteem as she allowed herself to feel she couldn't cope. It's not a one-size-fits-all thing.

@Oblomov23 - that's awful. And such a shame it's from friends of your ds.
I feel you on the assessments. My ds is the same and he has A-levels this year! Very capable but will only put in minimum effort. It's so frustrating.

Dd is very busy at school. Big drama production next week and she's had a punishing rehearsal schedule. 12 hour days and weekends too. We'll all be glad when it's over.

They've just started their first GCSE coursework. We do the iGCSE for English so it's 40% coursework (2 pieces).

DS has had a few assessments recently too, Maths, Biology and then English tomorrow I think and a Music practical assessment next week. Not as many as I thought and they haven't announced anymore. Homework is very manageable too, just a few pieces a week and that's more than what they had in year 9. They don't work him hard enough...haha! He was very happy this week as he got full marks in his Maths assessment, just him and another child in his class, so he was over the moon.
@NotDonna DS is also doing PE GCSE and yes it is a lot of extra curricular sport and the pressure to keep up with it so that it benefits them for GCSE. DS is not doing anything in addition, as he was already doing these clubs but he can't give up on them now as he needs to keep going for his GCSEs! Plus school work!
@Oblomov23 My DS got into trouble in year 9 as he was part of a group of boys who were misbehaving and although DS wasn't directly responsible, he didn't walk away/get himself out of the situation so found to be guilty by association. Things have been fine for awhile now so I'm hoping he has learnt a lesson.