Year 10 - 2023/2024 Support Thread

[QueenMabby]

Hi all

A new thread for those needing support (or just wanting to chat or rant!) with teens heading into their GCSE years.

That's a really interesting thread, @NotDonna , thanks for mentioning it. I do think a lot comes down to how motivated our kids are, and I'm not sure how/how much we can influence this.

We did go away for a few days over half term but deliberately not for the whole week so that DS had a few days free for revision. But he's just not interested! His exams aren't until the beginning of July and so he doesn't see the need. He always leaves homework until it's due, and it seems he has the same attitude to exams, which clearly is going to be a problem.

He brought up the subject of financial rewards for exams the other day - he'd heard that some kids get offered £x for a 9, £y for an 8 etc. I told him we won't be doing that. We are not averse to bribery though (far from it), and have been wondering if offering a reward for revising would work instead (ie for making and sticking to a timetable). I'd be interested to know if anyone has tried this?

@NotDonna that's amazing - it sounds like she'll do really well. We had the most unhelpful holiday - which was tied to some family circumstances- a French campsite, where it rained from Sunday to Friday. All our girls took shedloads of revision though, including the Y10, who also took her bassoon and flute (a joy on a campsite as you can imagine).

DD2 is being quite studious. Next week they are off timetable for exams (aka 'hanging around the boarding house getting in the way' I suspect)- she knows it is serious as there are also no music lessons or practice periods scheduled. Super nervous, as it's her first big exam week, and she's revising year 9 topics, but of course was at a different school doing different exam boards, so her notes don't help. I am really hoping she does OK.

She also has her big music assessment coming up, which is scary for her too. Fortunately we're down near her at the weekend for a party so will be able to take her out on Sunday and at least see how she's doing afterwards.

@HereComesYourMam we bought a specific gift for DD1 for working hard towards her GCSES. Before the results though, as we've never wanted to reward them for those financially. They know that isn't how our family do things - and are resigned to it! I suspect they'd both still respond to a Star Chart - DD1 uses something called Study Bunny, which 'rewards' her for studying with points she can spend on an app towards her pretend bunny's house. She seems to find this oddly motivating and it costs us nothing.

I used to get 50p for an A - that was in the ‘80’s. Including A for effort. I never got many As; for effort or attainment so it didn’t cost my parents much. It was not motivating for me. I worked hard in the lessons I enjoyed & minimally in the ones I didn’t. The money didn’t factor.
I’ve never done this with my 3, never thought of it tbh. I’m an only child so there was no competition but I think doing it for my 3 could have been unfair, unless it was for effort only. But even then how is that measured? Teachers reports link effort to attainment. It’s rare to see high attainment with low effort even if it’s a genius child that uses min effort.
I wonder if it’s mums and DS’s that have the ‘motivation’ clash. On MN it does seem to be predominantly sons who are last minute and seem to not try very hard. But it’s predominantly the mums suggesting this. I wonder what the dads think. Do they have a male perspective & think it’s fine? If these sons do pull it out of the bag and have a different approach to us mums, how much does it matter? I don’t know. I’ve 3 girls and they’re all intrinsically motivated and cash would be an added bonus. They also have motivated friends. That peer pressure works better than cash I think.
crikey that’s an essay!

@minisnowballs you made me laugh at the bassoon & flute on a campsite. She probs cheered everyone up given the crappy weather! What a shame.

That’s reminded me, we take them all out for a posh dinner after DD1’s exams - she has professional ones every few months (she’s on apprentice route not uni) which I guess is a reward for working hard; but it’s before results day. We don’t really reward results. She’s already a perfectionist so I wouldn’t want to exacerbate that!

DS has done zilch for his end of year exams that start a week on Tuesday. We were away for 3
nights and I suggested him taking some
books as he was away from his pals/ps5 but he didn’t.
Let’s see what happens -I think he’s like they don’t count for anything so why bother-I find it very frustrating to be honest.

DD's internal exams are finished. She has one actual gcse left (Wednesday) and is then done.

She's a pretty solid reviser and is fiercely scientific about question answering. She knows exactly what AOs to hit with each question and is normally pretty close when she guesses how well she's done!

For DS's GCSEs we bought him some premium bonds in a set amount once he had his results. Dd is doing 12 GCSEs to his 10 so a set amount works well for us.

I want to get her a nice gold necklace for this summer for her one gcse result. She has one that she bought herself but it's only a cheapy and if she wears it for too long it dyes her neck green!

I've told dd about the study bunny app - it looks like something she'd use! Ds and his friends use Flora - they also do practice papers together over FaceTime which works well.

I am the same as SB, ds2 done nothing. Yes we were in Dorset for a week, but been back a few days. I had a long chat with him today, which he hated. I'm actually really worried, he has no drive, no incentive. He doesn't know what he wants to do. I don't understand why he wouldn't want to put some effort in to raise each subject by 1 grade. Eg if a 7 why not at least aim for an 8. Plus in some subjects 6/7. What if it's 6, when you need a 7 for A'level, and not enough to get into 6th form?

It's not within him, it's not important. But I can't grasp why. Makes me so sad. I don't know whether to punish him, makes me sad it doesn't come from within.

@Oblomov24 I am holding onto the hope that when it counts next year they will knuckle down.

@QueenMabby love them doing practice papers over FT!

@SB1971 - it's great. If one gets stuck then they all stop and discuss the question and work through it together.

@Oblomov24 - my ds is/was the same. He only really tries for the real thing. All other tests/internal exams didn't count so they didn't matter. I found it very frustrating. He's definitely a pull it out of the hat at the last minute type of person!

I tell mine that revision is a mountain climb. Yes, you can do the lot in one go in a race to the summit but it's hard work and there's a greater risk you won't make it in time. Every bit of revision done for topic tests and internal exams takes you part way up the mountain so that when it comes to the real thing you're halfway there! Not sure it sinks in much though.

Yes Mabby. I just don't know what to do with him. I'm acting now, trying to prevent last minute.com next spring. But I don't actually know what's best to do.

This morning I reminded myself that even ds1, also did little. Nothing for GCSE's, even nut much in year 12, Until the Feb before his A'level's, then decided because he did want that uni course so he'd study.

Ds2, I've offered help, Spanish tutor, maths revision classes for next year. I don't want the stress of last minute panic. Actually that kid wouldn't panic, he's too laid back! I'm doing all this For me, I don't want the drama.

We seem to have the same boy @Oblomov24 My DS also hasn't got a clue what he wants to do, not even an inkling. Not bothered to find out about any careers either. He only knows what he doesn't want to do, which seems to be most things. When it's time to choose A/Ls he knows he needs to find something he wants to do. Don't know how it's all going to turn out for him. He is not the panicking sort either, so it'll be us who'll be stressed. He's got a PE exam today and a maths exam today, and yesterday we made him draw up a strategy for revision and breaks. It wasn't without arguments though.

DS came back from DofE last weekend absolutely covered in insect bites! We didn't think to send him with any repellent even though he is susceptible to it, parenting fail. He was in agony for days, poor thing. He has been camping with DH a few times this year and hasn't been bitten, I think it's the type of terrain they went on the DofE.

DD has end of year 9 exams this week and today is Maths and History. She did a lot of revision for maths, as she's determined to get to the top set and her teacher said she's top of the list to move. So I hope it goes well for her. History is her "thing", she knows a lot, will read history textbooks in bed for fun, but her writing lets her down. She's been having extra support classes as she wants to take it for GCSE. I'm hoping they've paid off too.

Sympathies Data. We are not alone.

@QueenMabby did your DS do well? I often wonder if these DC end up doing ok. That ‘last minute’ is their style and what works for them. I definitely read some research years ago about linear exam courses tend to work in boys’ favour as they’re likely to be crammers; whereas girls tend to do better with little and often coursework that’s sustained throughout the course. So I’m curious!
DD3 made me howl today. They aren’t allowed to be inside at break & lunch even if crappy weather. Apparently they’ve all been complaining about it. So in assembly today the head made a big announcement that he has taken their views onboard and has bought umbrellas for the outdoor benches! Not quite what they were hoping for. There’s probably about 5 of these benches so I’m not sure hundreds of kids will all get under the brollies anyway! Her outrage was quite amusing!

@NotDonna DS got eight 8/9 grades at GCSE but then a 6 and a 4! The lower grades were subjects he didn't like and as such he didn't revise. In hindsight I pushed too hard on those for his mocks (he got an 8 and a 6 in his mocks!) and he then achieved well there and that was enough for him! For A-levels he's predicted 3 As. He's massively inconsistent though (depending on whether or not he's done any work!) so his grades over the last two years have swung wildly. I suspect he's much brighter than his day to day work might suggest...he's worked hard for his current exams though.

Dd has her last ever Greek lesson today, prior to her final exam tomorrow. They are giving their teacher a gift as she's given up a lot of her time for this over the past two years. DD will be very glad to be done but she adores the teacher so it's bittersweet.

That’s so interesting re your DS @QueenMabby Good luck to DD for her Greek.

Aww, good luck @QueenMabby for the greek. So glad she enjoyed it - I really enjoyed doing similar at her age, and nowadays can fully appreciate the commitment of the teacher who taught just two of us an extra GCSE for the love of it (state school too in my case- he must have REALLY loved greek).

Two exams down here - Chemistry and Music. DD2 says they were 'hard but she thinks they went alright' - obviously by WhatsApp because why would you bother to speak to your mother about such things. I think the actual GCSEs with her so far away might kill me!

Meanwhile DD1 and foster daughter both have year 12 mocks. DD1 seemed more upbeat about biology this time, which is her weakest. She has Politics today, which is a big favourite. Fingers crossed.

@NotDonna - laughing about the brollies. DD1's school has built some glass structure thing that the kids can get into, which helps. But I used to hate being outside rain or shine. DD2s school feels so weird with this - doesn't really have playgrounds, and the kids go back to their houses for break and lunch (where they eat toast rather than doing any exercise)... DD2 sometimes calls me from her bedroom at break, which is super weird.

Oh calling from her bedroom at break must feel odd! Yes, the school site here is tiny too. There’s no hockey/football pitch for example. The 4/5 picnic table/benches aren’t enough for the hundreds of kids. They don’t play at this age but even if they did there’s no space to kick a ball around anyway. There’s nowhere to ‘hang’. It’s a new head and he’s started the rule about not being allowed in the classrooms. It’s not going down well. He’s also removed the yr11 common room, which was a privilege to look forward to.

Oh yes @minisnowballs being so far away for GCSEs will be testing! DD is now thinking of politics for A level (no gcse) how’s your DD finding it?

@NotDonna DD didn't have the GCSE either - she did history - and is doing History A-Level too and there is a lot of crossover. Politics is going brilliantly, and there is certainly plenty to write about at the moment. Would totally recommend!

Good luck to your DD today for her Greek exam @QueenMabby
DS started some revision last night for the exams that start a week today!

I am dreading this time next year with Ds taking GCSEs. He's taking it all so seriously. He has several mocks next week and the week after.

Ds2 is home from uni. He has been telling ds3 that he doesn't need to revise and to just put minimum effort needed in to get the grades he needs, like he did. Ds2 going to Australia in 4 weeks to do his third uni year abroad. So ds3 wants to move into his bedroom for the year as his is tiny. He's moaned at Ds1's room being empty for 18 months now as he's gone travelling. It'll give him more space to work.

I hope those doing exams over the next few weeks get on ok.

How did the exam go today @QueenMabby ?

Thanks @SB1971 but it's tomorrow. Ds was in for A level maths today. It's an exam-y week.

Dd feel ok about it but it's an afternoon exam so she gets more and more jittery as the morning goes on. I'm working from home tomorrow so I can take her.

Ah sorry! Nice that you can take her in