Y7- 2023/24 support thread

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Hi, just dropping in a thread for those of us who have kids starting secondary this coming September. There was a lovely thread going last year and they are carrying it on into Year 8, so here is a place for us the year behind.

How is everyone feeling as they finish Primary and prepare for Secondary?

Dd is moving from a single form entry "family feel" type cosy Primary into a large 8 form entry, multiple building secondary. She's going alone, her primary class are really split up across multiple secondaries.

The transition days helped, and she is excited,but has been really sad this weke saying her goodbyes

Is everyone prepped for uniform etc?

What a morning with DD! I really thought she wasn't going to go in today. She refused to get dressed until I threatened to phone her dad, which I really hate doing and do as a very last resort. There were tears and stropping and her asking for a covid test hoping it would be positive.

We still have another week to go before half term. Give me strength!

@gingeristhenewblack43 is it due to friendship issues? Or just tiredness?

Our experience with the sen at dd school is really up and down.
The did identify she was alone and offered something
They didnt tell the class teachers anything
Issues with maths caused by school caused our major jssue so far
No direct contact from.senco which lead to
Having sent adhd paperwork (just for opinion as sent main stuff to.primary) to tutor to send on, nothing happened even though i chased twice now. And they then say 'waiting for paperwork' when i said it was with primary?!
I doubt they can write anything as instead of raising with teachers to keep note of any issues they havent so know of no issues!

Anyway yes end of a stressful term. I had hoped dd would have made 1 friend. She still says she wont go to any clubs
I think asd traits have got worse at secondary - she was being carried by her friendship with one boy (also asd).
I think the forms should ask about how much help/scaffolding you are doing for them.
Organising their kit/lunch/getting to school. Or even friendships at primary.
We do tend to avoid getting dd to queue etc

Going through the tutor doesnt work although she seems lovely and replies.

We have another week to go before half term too@gingeristhenewblack43 . Plus we are all recovering from a cold (poss covid but we didn’t test). Both DSs had time off school but do seem very very tired still even now they are back. Floored me too :(. Just keep telling myself the late half term will make the next half term shorter! Hopefully that’s all it is your end (we will need to stagger though while everyone else’s kids relax next week.
Sorry for any messages I’ve missed over the last couple of weeks.
Here DS is getting very stressed about the achievement point system. It’s new this year and I thought it was going ok. DS initially seemed to notice getting points but not be too stressed over them. Recently however this girl in his class seems to have worked out a scheme where she is extra nice/ sucks up to all the teachers, gets loads of points off them and then brags about how many points she has to everyone. I’ve told DS to just ignore her but he can’t especially as some of his other friends have been cuttingly telling her that her total isn’t that great. This makes her even worse and him stress that he doesn’t get enough. His teacher has been saying things like “aim for a point every lesson” which of course makes him think that that’s the minimum expectation……He’s doing absolutely fine but of course his mum saying that means nothing. Argh!
Mostly I just wanted to rant to understanding people but if anyone has any useful advice? I suspect there isn’t any really though.

@Walkingbkwrm & @twistyizzy I think it's just tiredness with DD and like you @Walkingbkwrm we were floored with a cold last weekend. DD was off Monday & Tues and if I hadn't been able to work from home I would have rang in sick myself. We're still not fully recovered from it.

We could have really done with half term being this coming week! The dark mornings aren't helping either.

Dd has only 10 points for rewards. Shes missing 2 geography ones where she worked with kids to win a test but didnt get the points.
it seems more linked to doing homework and classwork than primary. But i expect the class favourites still get more lol!
Also relies on teacher knowing kids names..
for maths they were to encourage doing the extra work. But dd didnt do that as needed to practise other topics

looked a the secondary gcse results out recently. The school still did better than choi ce 2. But only 50% of middle prior attainers got a 5 in maths/eng which seems low/lower

Half term for us. Things seem to be going ok. I don’t get much from DS but inline school behaviour points are all positive, had a welcome evening so met Sendco lead and they were waiting on paperwork but happy to make immediate small adjustments. Far more positive that previous sendco I met. He also has a link TA and they ( with him and us) are putting together a profile which will be shared with all staff and is about what he needs, his stress signs and how he learns best so I am hopeful

Still having issues with the boy threatening to "do a school shooting" 😡 Yesterday he said today is the day he's bringing a gun in. Sleepless night for my daughter, despite me trying to reassure her that there's no way he can get a gun but she said he could get scissors or a knife. Nothing I could say to that. School know. We've emailed the school but they're not doing anything 😡

Really sorry you are having these issues @BeverleyMacker - sounds like a nightmare and really not helping school feel like a safe place at all ☹️ (if it even is). If you have emailed all the right people in school not sure what you can do though - they really should be doing something as that sort of thing is usual cry for help. Maybe they are behind the scenes, they just aren’t telling you? 🤞

@BeverleyMacker that is shocking. My DD would be totally freaked out and refuse to go to school.

Well we've made it to half term. Last week was awful and I think DD and I both reached breaking point.

Not helped by us both being poorly the week before and me having to cancel work visits, that I then had to squeeze them into last week in order to get things squared away so I could have half term off with her. So I was already stressed.

DD was refusing to get dressed on Mon and Tues morning. Crying saying she had a headache and felt sick. Managed to get her into school Monday morning.

Tuesday morning was worse and I lost my shit and ended up shouting at her. I rang exH for some help but he had training to facilitate so couldn't help.

I did eventually get her into school in tears and felt so shit about it. Cried all the way to my visit, then put a smile on my face for 2 hours during the visit.

Got a phone call from school to collect DD at 1.30pm and as soon as we got to the car she said 'at least I get to miss science.' She wasn't poorly, she just didn't want to do science.

I emailed the HOY and luckily she was free the next morning and so were I and exH. So had the meeting and discussed some of the issues DD has around school. The main one being the bunsen burners in science. DD is terrified of flames, so much so that she wants candles on her birthday cake but I'm not allowed to light them.

On the open evening for secondary we were taken to the science lab and they had the bunsen burners lit. DD was crying and refused to go in the room.

So the up shot of the meeting was that, along with some other adjustments in other classes, the science teacher would do some desensitisation work with DD around the bunsen burners.

The HOY asked us if we had any 'suspicions' and I did say that exH and I have been debating for a couple if years about an ASD assessment. He's not keen, I am and that's something we need to hammer out between us.

The HOY said that with all the issues we had raised that ASD was standing out and that if we wanted her to be referred for assessment then to let her know. In the meantime she was going to email all the staff who teach DD and ask them to be mindful of raising their voices, lighting in the class room, where she is positioned in relation to the illuminated board etc.

DD had good days on Thurs and Fri, she started the desensitisation work with the science teacher, and a lot of her teachers have had a little chat with her about where she is sitting in class in relation to the illuminated board and whether they are raising their voice too loudly. DD has been moved seats in some classes.

HOY is going to refer DD to the pastoral support team for art therapy (we have paid privately in the past for this because of DD's anxiety). She will also be referred to an external mental health team who come into the school monthly to work with specific pupils.

So we've ended the half term on a positive note and hopefully next half term will be better.

For the first week back exH is going to make sure that his diary is clear around school drop off time in case he has to come over and help with DD. I'm going to try and not book any 9am visits so my stress levels are reduced if DD is refusing to go to school.

That's my update!

Well done for making it to half term @gingeristhenewblack43 ! The school sounds like they are really trying to help, fingers crossed for you it helps and you sort out the referral issues with your exH.
Half term just started for us too. School had a lockdown incident this week (not sure why, rumours flying all over the place) - seemed to be resolved quickly though. Thought of you @BeverleyMacker when I heard about it, hopefully nothing has happened your end. The DSs seemed more excited at the disruption to normal routine than worried luckily. DS2 fell over at scouts and has a really impressive scrape all down his leg so had to hobble through the last 2 days of school (gave him a note to get out of lessons a bit early), my father fell over and broke a rib and my husband was abroad for work. Could have done without the excitement this week tbh! Really glad we have a quiet week planned next week (apart from coming up with a last min Halloween costume for DS2 who has just decided this morning he wants to go trick or treating this year after not wanting to for the last 5 years…….!)
Hope those who are just finishing half term had a good week.

DDs bday today and back to school tomorrow. She is nicely rested and looks so much better than she did 12 days ago! Halloween disco on Saturday night for Yr 7+8s so lots of outfit planning on WhatsApp.
Hope those who are on half term are having a lovely time and those who started back this week are finding it easier after the break.

Dd has a spanish listening test on fri. And a maths test within next 2weeks.

What do you think happens if a girl needs to miss swimming for period? Would a parebt need to tell school? Does the girl change to pe kit?

I imagine if it's trouble with periods eg out of the ordinary then a note would do, if it's just that she has her period then she will probably be expected to wear period swimwear/ tampons.

Our school does have the change to PE kit rule but if there's a note re periods it would be a bit off to make her change

While I am here what's the deal with secondary school and Christmas gifts for teachers - done thing or a big no no?

No idea! I would guess no as so many teachers and we have no whatsapp either to organise anything.

dd had a random science test with no warning -- i just cant see the point. I wouldnt remember much.
her spanish listening test (which had 4 days notice) seemed to go ok.
her maths quizz she would probably have got twice the marks on if had notice as persisted same error through multiple qns.
we had a lot of time free in half term.

I know a teacher in a secondary school with no class reps. The kids in her tutor group and some from her subject classes (if they have a nice relationship) will individually give her anything from a card to a little gift (chocs, a mug, maybe something cute they made for her).
Sometimes the parents will send their child in with a cake or box of chocs or teabags for the use of everyone in the staff room which is also well received.

I mention no class reps because maybe in schools with class reps they might organise some joint gifts from everyone?

Bit of a struggle for dd today. Got picked in 3 different teams as the worst thrower.
And then her arguing with her teams too.
maths and history tests next week.

Hope all the DC are doing well.
Has anyone else got tests in over the next few weeks? How seriously do the schools take them? Our school hasn't confirmed whether the results will determine set places for the year and also have thrown in some subjects which they originally said the kids wouldn't be tested on until Summer!

We had lots of tests just before half term. And then a letter after half term saying they were rejigging the science, food tech and DT sets so thought it must be because of the science results. But Dd2 only got 10/20 and her friend got 17/20 and are still in the same set.

The school say they only set for Maths at the start of next term. But there are some different literacy groups.

Yes we had the history one yesterday. Dd said, Why did I bother revising.
Maths tomorrow. Im not sure ours will rejigg the maths sets as only been mid oct they sorted out after a first test.
she says another science one - i cant even work out from her book what her topic is. They did sex and babies etc as topic 1.

why not tests at end of year - this is very haphazard, and still have homework on top. Its probably good for maths but other eubjects taking time out of learning new.

today she forgot a birthday card so ran back home but then said she had left her spanish book!. Had taken it out to photo a random word . To go back we would have missed the bus.

@Busornobus67 yes I agree, they've only just started really settling in and learning so it seems a bit mad to test now but I suppose they have reasons.

DS had tests all last half term and has lots more this half term. They don’t set until year 9 and then only for maths, as they say the school is already selective. The only thing I can think is that it gets them used to tests as a way of life so less nerves? Learning for a test consolidates the knowledge?

I know for my degree we had to pass “fitness to sit” in each subject before being allowed to sit finals. It made finals really easy.

He came home yesterday in tears with 4 subjects of homework but today he’s high as a kite, hoping to go on the Germany trip next May.

Interesting to see how they all do it differently. Our DS had Maths testing before half-term so that the setting could be reviewed (which parents were told about in advance). Otherwise I think it’s just been topic tests in History and Latin that I’ve heard about recently. He will have a full set of subject exams in the first half of the summer term before going off on the Y7 residential.