Y7- 2023/24 support thread

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Hi, just dropping in a thread for those of us who have kids starting secondary this coming September. There was a lovely thread going last year and they are carrying it on into Year 8, so here is a place for us the year behind.

How is everyone feeling as they finish Primary and prepare for Secondary?

Dd is moving from a single form entry "family feel" type cosy Primary into a large 8 form entry, multiple building secondary. She's going alone, her primary class are really split up across multiple secondaries.

The transition days helped, and she is excited,but has been really sad this weke saying her goodbyes

Is everyone prepped for uniform etc?

I am sitting on my hands to not contact the parents of the child causing my DD hassle - its subtle, so hard to prove, but constant digs and one upmanship and leaving my DD out of activities and groups 😪

My DD has had this dreadful cold for over a week now and we let her off school yesterday as she was feeling so poorly. Still suffering today but not ill enough not to go to school - but she really didn't want to!! I feel so sad for her as she worked soooooo hard to get into this school and her nemesis originally didn't get in, but did on the 3rd round and is now making my DD miserable (also, the only child she knew going into this school but other child did know others - which is part of the problem).

What can I do to help my DD find her tribe and ignore the digs and leaving out by this girl and her gang (that DD wants to be in!!)?

@EweCee don't message the parents, parents rarely believe their DD is the problem in my experience. Talk to the head of year/form tutor or pastoral lead and explain the situation.

They should be very up on any kind of bullying/exclusion particularly in the early days. They may be able to switch groups or forms so she doesn't come into contact with her bully.

Thanks @Stokey we had been waiting until parents evening before half term but actually took your advice and emailed this morning asking to speak to her Form Tutor sooner. She phoned me immediately! We had a good chat and she is going to keep an eye and switch up some groups where she can, and a few other things. We agreed not to directly address the issues with the child causing upset yet (nor will I contact the parents!), but school may address with child in the future if things don’t settle down. She said that other children are also feeling left out and not in groups yet, so she will endeavour to create opportunities where they can ‘find’ each other. Fingers crossed things will settle down.

@EweCee that's great news, fingers crossed!

DD came out of school happy today. She got a sticker twice in science today for her good work and attitude to learning. She also got let out of school 5 mins early at the end of the day (from science) for good behaviour. She's over the moon 🌟

@twistyizzy @ElvenDreamer

Thank you so much for your kind and compassionate messages.

I think they are aware the boy who took bag etc has a 1-2-1 teaching person luckily again the boy wasn't there I think he's on his way out.

Had a Fab day to day because said boy wasn't there.

Still hasn't really anyone a such to hang around with started floating with the old group and some others. Il give it time.

Did tell me today he was nearly late for lesson as boys in loo banging / kicking on toilet door and then not letting him out.

I've sent my first email to the school and done a request for some kind of intervention so he can go to toulet
With out hassle. He was so scared spent whole of break in there until they left on the first bell and ran to the other side of the school for lesson.

@Yoyo2021 I know we aren't meant to give hugs but have a virual 💐 from me. It is so mentally exhausting this whole process and you must spend the whole day worrying about him. Definitely school need to start intervening. Do you think he is being targeted because he hasn't yet found other kids to hang around with?

@twistyizzy I think so ☹️

@EweCee that sounds very positive, hopefully things will improve now that the teacher is aware.

@Yoyo2021 I would definitely speak to the school and see if they can facilitate him meeting other kids.

@gingeristhenewblack43 that's fantastic 😊

Back to feeling annoyed at the setting.
still stuck in wrong set. And realised today that being set fundamentals homework which isn t even ks3! Surely he could manually adjust it. No wonder its so easy.

yet because she wont write down the codes shes failing some of the book checks.
And getting annoyed. Her homework shows as 100% even if she got some wrong so she doesnt see the issue with getting things wrong to start with.

the other local school her friend with lower but similar sats maths is usually in set 1. But getting frustrated as its too hard. And it is hard! So i guess there is an issue finding 30 kids of similar current levels. I dont think that would have been primary recommended as the child does get anxious.

Just dont think sats can be used like this. Dd said she didnt know 2 -- made a +. But the rest of set 4 did.

Still no science or geography or history. I think its going to be a shock.

The girl who had been not allowing dd to sit with them on the bus sat with someone else today so i guess thats good.

I dont like the style of open toilets but i suppose it does cut down on direct bullying in there.

Sorry for those whose kids are still having a tough time - we've been incredibly lucky (especially since we squeaked in as the last on the waiting list to get a place) with how well DD1 has managed the transition really and how good school have been in terms of supporting her with her probable ASD but very bright academically just with poor social skills and no filter between brain and gob profile.

Went to the open evening there last night as DD2 is now year 6 (with lots more complex SEN so a much more difficult choice for secondary) and DD1 had wangled helping out on the guided tours (which appeared to involve just doing laps of all the departments offering food-related activities and stuffing her face and then eating her tutor's chocolate supplies - she's got her tutor wrapped around her little finger!) and all the staff couldn't sing DD1's praises highly enough (bit of a "are you sure you've got the right child" moment there). DD2 seems to have been adopted as the cutest year 6 kid ever by the current year 9s and is determined to go there as well now!

Not quite sure DD1's guided tour sales technique of "you've got to come here, we've got a slushy machine and it's well peng innit" is quite what the school wanted from the current student tours!

We've had sod all in the way of homework set so far really - the Y6 child is getting far more.

Well the detentions are starting to increase at DDs school. Daily stories of them being handed out for forgetting to bring exercise/textbooks in etc. Thankfully none here yet 🤞 DD would be mortified if she got one I think.
She seems to be settling in well and is opening up to speaking to more kids rather than just her immediate small friendship group. Still chatty and appears happy so I'm now leaving her to get on with it.
She is also utilising any independent study time at school (1 x session per week) to do homework and reduce the burden at home.

Glad to hear some other children settling better now. Things are going well so far this week for my DD 🙏- she even just had a phone call with a new friend! She actually initially said ‘sorry, I can’t talk now, I have homework’ - but I quickly intervened (earwigging round the corner!) and said of course you can, homework can wait tonight! So they had a great chat for a bit 😀which was lovely to hear her making friends and sounding happy. Homework is coming thick and fast - and tests! - but I’m far more focussed and on her settling and creating friendship groups right now.

DD has settled a lot more now. She’s made a really good friend (so far) and has a few others. I can’t believe how tired she still is though. I’ve been putting her to bed at 8:30 and she’s up at 7 and sleeping straight through. To be honest out of my three she has zero stamina so I do hope she’s not always permanently exhausted from secondary school. Any earlier than 8:30 and she won’t have much down time.

@EweCee that's fantastic 😀 I agree, homework can wait at this stage!

Dd feeling sad she didnt go to the other school.
I dont think the school have been great with encouraging friendships as many as clinging to primary friends. Her primary friend away a few days ago and dd just wandered around.
They need to be allowed to sit wherever at lessons from the start.
She did talk to another girl in pe and they seem to get along ok. Dd did only have 1 -2 friends in primary.

Anyone else feel like this week has been a really hard slog? We had CATS this week but DS didn't seem massively bothered, but overall he's been grumpy and tetchy and was in tears this morning over something really minor.

We had a hiccup this week when a cover teacher had different expectations than his usual form teacher and he wasn't ready for it and got a demerit - his first, which has really thrown him. But overall it just feels like it's all got very real this week and we're all exhausted despite the fact that, objectively, he's doing really well - made the basketball team, in loads of clubs, seems to have made some new friends and getting good feedback on homework. But gosh, what a slog. Feels like we're counting down to half term now.

Most the clubs starting this week combined with DS having a cold means he is absolutely exhausted. He was very stroppy this morning but think it's just tiredness rather than any real issues.

Yes, same problems here, I absolutely know what you mean @JassyRadlett . We had the dreaded cold all week too @Jules912 , DS is exhausted and so am I!

We've got covid here. Think she was delighted to spend a day on the sofa watching movies rather than at school! Small mercies.

On the bright side, mine went to the park after school with one friend from his primary and a new friend they've made this term, and they've all wound up here chatting and hanging out and it's totally delightful.

I was worried he'd just stick with his primary friends but he seems to be growing his friendship group already, such a relief.

Great news @JassyRadlett!

DD got her knife licence in food tech today for chopping up some celery. She's very pleased and brought the chopped celery home for her guinea pigs.

Only 2 lots of homework this weekend, an improvement on the 6 lots she had last weekend! I was expecting something from history as we've not had homework from that subject yet, but they had a sub today. Also no science which we were told would be weekly 🤷🏼‍♀️