Y7- 2023/24 support thread

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Hi, just dropping in a thread for those of us who have kids starting secondary this coming September. There was a lovely thread going last year and they are carrying it on into Year 8, so here is a place for us the year behind.

How is everyone feeling as they finish Primary and prepare for Secondary?

Dd is moving from a single form entry "family feel" type cosy Primary into a large 8 form entry, multiple building secondary. She's going alone, her primary class are really split up across multiple secondaries.

The transition days helped, and she is excited,but has been really sad this weke saying her goodbyes

Is everyone prepped for uniform etc?

Hugs for you and your DD @gingeristhenewblack43 - their brains must be so overloaded coping with all the newness.
DS has also not slept well for the last 4 nights or so - I thought it was mostly just the heat, but I also think his brain is running at 1,000mph

How does she like to decompress after school?

@gingeristhenewblack43 sorry to hear she is still upset, I think we underestimate the toll that the transition takes on them. DD hasn't yet reached that stage but she is tired and last night we had her saying she wishes she had gone to the local state school with her friends. It was never an option but I think it's just the emotion of the past week + early starts and late finishes.
This week they start homework properly so more things to deal with!

It ls massively exhausting for all of them, such a big change, and then the tiredness makes everything 100 times harder. Things have steadily improved for DS here, we've gone from being unable to speak for 3 hours after school on the 1st day, to actually able to tell me some things that happened yesterday. Hoping this trajectory continues.

Ds is hoping he gets to actually learn something soon, so far most lessons have been very much of the dish put the books and write names on them and this is the ouline of your course variety.

My DS ended up in his dad’s bed again after another nightmare last night, so we aren’t doing much better here @gingeristhenewblack43 . It just all seems to come out at night and then of course he’s really tired and unsettled in the morning. Not quite sure what to do about it as he seems to be chatting to his friends and engaging in lessons and all the things you are supposed to do (well except getting to know new people but as his primary friends are right there I can appreciate that might take a while).
Glad your DS is doing a bit better @ElvenDreamer and sure he will get to some more engaging lessons soon.
Here on the plus side DC2 came home with no less than 3 different logins today! Thank goodness for that. I have now loaded up his lunch account and bribed him with hot chocolate into trying the canteen on Thursday.

My DD had to be carried to bed last night after a lot of cajoling and almost baby’ing in the evening - she is exhausted! But still throwing herself into every opportunity and meet ups with new friends, despite being so tired 🤷🏼‍♀️ and refusing to go to bed early. Hopefully she can push through as they have their new Y7 residential soon and I’m worried she’ll burn out from exhaustion before then!!

Nice they have a residential soon into the year - good way to bond them all a bit more.

Dd is saying she is struggling to read the boards. Seems that the text is smaller than in primary, plus if they project any images with coloured text she struggles to read the lettering.

She has annual eye tests as me and dh are short sighted, and has 20/20 vision so I'm not sure if it's just the contrast of colours on the screen she's struggling to distinguish.

My child comes home estatic everyday tells me before I get home he can’t wait to see me and tell me what he got up too.

when I walk in I have to sit down for a hour to hear all the amazing things he does including tonight a horror Halloween dance he did in a dance lesson! ( surprised thought dance would be something he would not like). He also went to a first after school club today basketball loved it and said he met a nice person there!

Later I asked about lunch times if still with a mate who knew that was in another class from him at primary…. He said not this week as that friend was hanging back out with his old class friends…. I said what do you do…. He says I just walk about on my own mum. I speak to people for a bit then move on and go round on my own ….. I made some suggestions.… he said why are you worrying mum its just boys 😭unless a very good actor he just doesn't care.

I'm really hoping with a bit of time he can find a group of friends to eat lunch with etc he says there are loads walking around on there own at lunch??? I really hope lunch time clubs can start soon and hope it's football tomorrow at lunch to take away the distraction of being on his own.

Not sure what to do or say 😭😭

All the kids at our local state where my DS (and DD go) have had none of these traumas I'm reading on here. Everyone seems chilled & happy. There are advantages.

@sillyuniforms but I think most of the DC on here ARE at state school? Mine is only a bit tired which I think is acceptable. She isn't crying or upset etc and only said that comment because her primary best friend goes to a different school. She would never have gone to the same school due to catchment.
Maybe don't make sweeping assumptions?

How do you know every single child is chilled and happy?

I'm glad your school is working out @sillyuniforms , for many that will absolutely be the right choice, I have relatives blissfully happy in their catchment school. For my DS that would not have been the reality, the early difficulties he's had are all ASD change and size related. The school he is at (still state btw) is so much smaller than the catchment school, this is one of the main reasons he wanted it, problems would have been exactly the same elsewhere, and potentially magnified.

All I said is that I have not heard of one. Our school did a summer camp for new starters and are brilliant at transition which helps. Almost all the kids live within 1.5 miles too which helps as no massive traumas about travel: they walk cycle or get the bus.
Ten form state school.

That would definitely help with travel! We are rural and our nearest school is 6 miles.

@sillyuniforms we are rural so all kids have to travel via bus, and some have lengthy journeys. Just because you haven't heard of any child getting upset in your DCs school doesn't mean it isn't happening. I find it hard to believe that in a 10 form state school there aren't ANY children who are finding it challenging.

All I'm saying is I haven't heard of one. I know about 100 of the kids so a decent sample

As I said. Our school is fantastic at transition and it shows. Yr7 Summer camp makes a huge difference

Changing the subject entirely, does anyone have any good book recommendations for preteens/teens to help with navigating friendships etc (specifically with boys in mind.) DS is a bit clueless and responds really well to books. I found a gorgeous series for girls not that long ago which dealt with all sorts of teen things, (organisation being my specific target for DD!), would love to find something similar aimed at boys or at least aimed at all.

I thought this book was good @ElvenDreamer.

@ElvenDreamer what was the series you found for girls?

Just had a phone call from DDs personal tutor to say she seems to be settling in and making a good group of friends. She hasn't been late for any lessons so must be finding her way around and the Tutor has had positive feedback about her attitude and behaviour in all classes so far.
Big relief!

Ooh, thanks @Jellycats4life , will check that one out.

@twistyizzy it's a series called American Girl A smart girls guide to... I bought my daughter the guide to getting it together but there are various in the series. DD loves the book and it really helped her. There's nothing in it we hadn't talked about anyway obviously but kids take it so much better when they feel in charge of the ideas, ie not being told by a parent! It's written in quite an appealing way I think.

Just logged on to see how much she's spent on dinners.

Ouch! She's definitely enjoying having lots more options. Will need to reign her in a bit!

My daughter is enjoying all the food options too. I'm hoping the novelty wears off soon 🤦‍♀️😄

@ElvenDreamer thank you

Yr 7 DD is struggling to make friends. She went up with 3 friends who were put in the other half of the year and aren’t on her breaks. A boy sat next to her laughed and said “oh I have to sit next to her she looks like a boy wish me luck”

She came in said it was a bad day mum and burst into tears. 😢 😢.