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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Y7- 2023/24 support thread

904 replies

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 20/07/2023 20:50

Hi, just dropping in a thread for those of us who have kids starting secondary this coming September. There was a lovely thread going last year and they are carrying it on into Year 8, so here is a place for us the year behind.

How is everyone feeling as they finish Primary and prepare for Secondary?

Dd is moving from a single form entry "family feel" type cosy Primary into a large 8 form entry, multiple building secondary. She's going alone, her primary class are really split up across multiple secondaries.

The transition days helped, and she is excited,but has been really sad this weke saying her goodbyes

Is everyone prepped for uniform etc?

OP posts:
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7
twistyizzy · 07/09/2023 19:25

DD is exhausted after acclimatising to sports every day, 5pm finish and the whole navigating new friendships. Only Friday + Saturday morning left this week but I imagine she will be spending most of Sunday in bed!

twistyizzy · 07/09/2023 19:26

DD is exhausted after acclimatising to sports every day, 5pm finish and the whole navigating new friendships. Only Friday + Saturday morning left this week but I imagine she will be spending most of Sunday in bed!

ElvenDreamer · 07/09/2023 19:43

Today I did manage to get DS into school, (last night I wasn't sure if I would,) he is still not happy, but it was ever so slightly better I think than yesterday. It's just autistic overwhelm atm. It will take time to adjust.
Packed lunches all the way here, it takes away a stress point. Last year DD had school dinners and made some very odd choices initially, it did calm down though so don't worry those whose child is doing that currently, I think it's a rite of passage 😆

Yoyo2021 · 07/09/2023 20:32

ElvenDreamer · 07/09/2023 19:43

Today I did manage to get DS into school, (last night I wasn't sure if I would,) he is still not happy, but it was ever so slightly better I think than yesterday. It's just autistic overwhelm atm. It will take time to adjust.
Packed lunches all the way here, it takes away a stress point. Last year DD had school dinners and made some very odd choices initially, it did calm down though so don't worry those whose child is doing that currently, I think it's a rite of passage 😆

I'm so pleased he had a better day💙

I'm kind of hoping for us to find out about lunch time clubs and after school clubs soon as said no one plays at lunch anymore its just hang about which he said was good but he had to go for a walk to get a drink as felt it was over whelmimg too. X x X Friday tomorrow and then a quiet weekend for us.

Yoyo2021 · 07/09/2023 20:34

twistyizzy · 07/09/2023 19:25

DD is exhausted after acclimatising to sports every day, 5pm finish and the whole navigating new friendships. Only Friday + Saturday morning left this week but I imagine she will be spending most of Sunday in bed!

Wow! Does your daughter go six days a week? Exhausting but fabulous doing sports five days a week - my boy would love that x

twistyizzy · 07/09/2023 20:36

5 and a half days per week yes and I'm not sure she thanks me for doing sport every day 😄

Yoyo2021 · 07/09/2023 20:42

Gizlotsmum · 06/09/2023 18:50

So he got to the bus stop and on the right bus. Apparently hasn’t spoken to anyone but has an ok day, barely ate lunch… is very tired….

How was his day today? X

Gizlotsmum · 07/09/2023 20:54

@Yoyo2021 I think he enjoyed it more ( they had school photos but I didn’t know till a friend with an older boy mentioned it!) He had different subjects and actually did some work in history ( which is a subject he likes). Apparently still not spoken to anyone and can’t remember who he sits next to but he will get there!! May have lost a pair of pe socks ( luckily not the expensive ones) and he has a blazer and tie free day tomorrow ( still long sleeves)

Marisquita · 07/09/2023 20:54

Slight glitch for us today in that DS’ school bus (run by the school, not public transport) ran late and the form tutor told the DC off for missing registration! Just a communication breakdown I presume. Otherwise all good. Hope things are improving for all those who have been struggling with the transition.

Gizlotsmum · 07/09/2023 20:59

@Marisquita that’s harsh. Both my kids schools appreciate the bus can be late, if he is the only one in his form in that bus then miscommunication but reception would have known, a bus load of pupils is pretty noticeable

Aigh · 07/09/2023 21:15

@Gizlotsmum , my DS hasn't spoken to anyone either (and has no idea of names of people around him) but I'm hoping he will get there. It is a lot to process!

gingeristhenewblack43 · 07/09/2023 21:59

DD was sitting in the porch when I got home. Her front door key wouldn't open the door (despite her using it since about April and it worked this afternoon when I tried it!) I think she was just tired and not turning the key fully. I've now added a back door key to her keyring with a big B marked on it in black sharpie.

I was only 5 mins after her so it wasn't a big issue but I don't want her ending up sitting in the porch in Winter.

DD was shattered this eve and took her self off to her room for a bit. But after a bit of decompression she came down and chattered on.

She said it's the first time she has enjoyed PE as it was just girls. In primary it was mixed sex and she always complained that the boys were so verbally and physically aggressive.

PE teacher was very good about her inhaler and told her to just bring it into the sports hall and she doesn't need to ask permission to use it.

Other lessons seem to have gone well too judging by DD's positive reports.

No homework yet. Some positive behaviour points added to the app for DD today. We're booked into a 'meet the form tutor' in a couple of weeks.

Tomorrow is a big day for DD as this is the first day the full school will be in. She's nervous about it and has asked me to take her up to school after her feeling brave today and walking up alone to meet her friends.

Jessica60 · 07/09/2023 23:50

Joining this late. Looking for support.

My dd has started y7 there are a few girls from her primary in her form but she says they are not her type ( a couple quite bitchy and apparently starring at her). they have removed her from their WhatsAppgroup.

Most of her friendswent to a different school and she is seeing pics of them together. She has tried to make other friends and one girl told her to go away and make other friends. She said she nearly cried.

She has cried herself to sleep and doesn't want to go back. It's breaking my heart.

Yoyo2021 · 08/09/2023 07:12

gingeristhenewblack43 · 07/09/2023 21:59

DD was sitting in the porch when I got home. Her front door key wouldn't open the door (despite her using it since about April and it worked this afternoon when I tried it!) I think she was just tired and not turning the key fully. I've now added a back door key to her keyring with a big B marked on it in black sharpie.

I was only 5 mins after her so it wasn't a big issue but I don't want her ending up sitting in the porch in Winter.

DD was shattered this eve and took her self off to her room for a bit. But after a bit of decompression she came down and chattered on.

She said it's the first time she has enjoyed PE as it was just girls. In primary it was mixed sex and she always complained that the boys were so verbally and physically aggressive.

PE teacher was very good about her inhaler and told her to just bring it into the sports hall and she doesn't need to ask permission to use it.

Other lessons seem to have gone well too judging by DD's positive reports.

No homework yet. Some positive behaviour points added to the app for DD today. We're booked into a 'meet the form tutor' in a couple of weeks.

Tomorrow is a big day for DD as this is the first day the full school will be in. She's nervous about it and has asked me to take her up to school after her feeling brave today and walking up alone to meet her friends.

Your lock may need a bit of oil in it or wd40.

On Tuesday the day before my boy started I shut the door and got him practicing and put some oil in to make it easier as it was hot and I find it expands in the heat.

At some point your right may loose key etc so I have put a umbrella by our front porch just in case!

I'm also keeping the wifi on in case he ever ran out of credit he could what's app me from outside.

gingeristhenewblack43 · 08/09/2023 07:17

@Jessica60 I would be contacting the HOY or pastoral lead. They may be able to hook your DD up with another child feeling isolated.

Yoyo2021 · 08/09/2023 07:23

Jessica60 · 07/09/2023 23:50

Joining this late. Looking for support.

My dd has started y7 there are a few girls from her primary in her form but she says they are not her type ( a couple quite bitchy and apparently starring at her). they have removed her from their WhatsAppgroup.

Most of her friendswent to a different school and she is seeing pics of them together. She has tried to make other friends and one girl told her to go away and make other friends. She said she nearly cried.

She has cried herself to sleep and doesn't want to go back. It's breaking my heart.

I hope she has a better day.

It could just take a few days for them to settle. My boy apparently got told to f off by a boy when he asked if he asked where something is!!!

It's really hard to know what to do.

Yesterday, they went to some lessons and in the double English it was a searing plan so he got to know one or two people from other schools. Perhaps as this happens the kids who are staying with there former friends from exaiitint primary will be broken up and she will get the chance to speak to more people.

I had a dreadful time at secondary so everything triggers me and I worry lots but put the face on for my son.

I am trying to take a step back and think there is no escaping a group of not so nice boys or girls being there and the odd comment that type were in my school and proberbly in ever school in the country.

I am also thinking thank God my son is not in such a group that behaves this way.

For now in just have to praise the way he deals with it, and keep him updating me as I feel he is going to need to build some sort of resilliance… after all being in the workplace is no bed of roses!!! but Mark my words if it ends up being a daily occurrencee I will speak to student support.

Yoyo2021 · 08/09/2023 07:32

Gizlotsmum · 07/09/2023 20:54

@Yoyo2021 I think he enjoyed it more ( they had school photos but I didn’t know till a friend with an older boy mentioned it!) He had different subjects and actually did some work in history ( which is a subject he likes). Apparently still not spoken to anyone and can’t remember who he sits next to but he will get there!! May have lost a pair of pe socks ( luckily not the expensive ones) and he has a blazer and tie free day tomorrow ( still long sleeves)

They have another tie and blazer free day due to the heat today too 😊

I imagine sometimes being in lessons and focusing on the subject is sometimes quite nice rather than a whole day of ice breakers and getting to know each other activities.

It probs takes the pressure off and slowly will talk to each other make friends a bit more naturally.

My boy enjoyed his literacy lesson and came out with lots of merits which was instantly a huge confidence boost ( he thought the teachers would think he was stupid wouldn't like him!!!)

ElvenDreamer · 08/09/2023 07:52

Gosh I can't believe how many people have had school photos already, that would have finished DS entirely, he hates photos with a passion unsurpassed!

Well he's in for the 3rd day, more grumpy and accepting today rather than pure terror and refusal so improving I guess. Today will be a biggie as it's PE for the first time and he's not a fan of football, rugby etc. I think once we have that put of the way, the only other major hitch will be the 1st drama lesson next week and then things can hopefully will settle further.

To posters who have had bus troubles, DD had so many issues last year, buses round us are appalling but school were always understanding. A boys school near to her though have a zero tolerance on lateness so even if a contracted school bus is late, they get a conduct point! Seems utterly ridiculous. I think their attitude is very much 'we are elite, we intend to remain that way, if your bus is going to be a problem then you need to change your plan'. Needless to say that was not the school we chose for DS!

Original poster
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/09/2023 09:27

I think they use the photos for their internal electronic records too.

OP posts:
Unsuredad123 · 08/09/2023 09:51

New tor the thread and with 11 pages not read it all, so if others have had the same/similar sorry for going over old ground.

DD2 just started at a grammar having got through 11 plus with not much if any tutoring. Her friends have gone to different schools and she seemed happy with the idea of starting somewhere new and was excited about it all at the start of the week. After 2 days she made a passing comment along the lines of they expect so much of you. It doesn't sound like she isn't enjoying it. With DD1 we who isn't at a grammar we didn't have this but that's to be expected given the school is selective and has higher grades etc than her sisters non selective school. I'm hoping it's just first week change, missing her friends and the safety she had knowing her primary, but has anyone else had similar?

Jessica60 · 08/09/2023 10:13

Thank you. She rang me outside school today saying she didn't want to go in and those girls had been mean to her again. She is going to find somewhere quiet to read her book.
I will be ringing the school but worried they may just say leave it a few weeks.

Original poster
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/09/2023 10:21

Unsuredad123

My dd isn't at a Grammar, but she's gone to secondary in a Trust, with most of the other children coming from Primaries within that Trust (she wasnt). It looks like lots of the systems they use (eg Google Classroom) the kids are familiar with from Primary, which she isn't at all.

Also they clearly do French at these Trust primaries, as the French class teacher basically has assumed they all have some knowledge of the language, whereas dds Primary did Spanish. So she's finding that frustrating.

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 08/09/2023 11:03

So emergency run with tie and blazer as every other boy was wearing them 🙄. I couldn’t leave him to suffer the consequences so early but he knows it was a 1 off rescue!

gingeristhenewblack43 · 08/09/2023 11:07

@Jessica60 definitely get in touch with the HOY, it's bullying and they should be coming down hard on it. If they say to leave it a few weeks email the HOY and ask for a copy of their bullying policy.

gingeristhenewblack43 · 08/09/2023 11:09

This morning was hard. DD was sobbing her heart out not wanting to go as today is the first day with the whole school in.

She was refusing to get dressed initially but we talked through her worries and I tried to give a potential solution to each of her concerns.

She's asked me to pick her up today. Roll on 3.15. I don't think I'm going to get much work done today!

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