Deregestering in year 9, starting fresh in year 10?

[WitsHaveEnded]

Am I mad? DD is in the brink of being permanently excluded. Awaiting ADHD diagnosis and her behaviour has just tanked year on year since starting seniors. High performing results focussed school. Late nearly every day, constantly skipping lessons, not a day goes by they aren't calling me at work to let me know. Met with headteacher 2 weeks ago who said she is 'unlike any child he has ever met', is polite and doesn't argue back but is quietly defiant. They're focusing and really driving home how it is affecting staff more than her. They gave her 4 weeks to sort it out.

Nothing is getting through to her. Her field of fucks is barren. Phone call again today to let me know she's truanted most lessons today in the toilets and that the paperwork to go before the Governors has been filled out.

So do I jump before we are pushed? She's so unhappy there, too much has happened now and she is 'that kid'. I'm considering deregestering her and homeschooling for the rest of the academic year, and applying for new schools to start in year 10. Is that even possible?

Managed move not an option, already refused that due to their suggestions of places - ofsted failing academies.

Anyone experienced similar or have any advice please? I'm so torn on what to do for the best. Thanks if you got this far!

Teachers do not fancy a rant with anyone. They have many other kids to support and teach. You will find many people on here to tell you to blame the school. You also say she does not want to move because she likes her friends. It may be that you need to step up and make sure she has what she needs. You also need to accept that schools do not have a magic wand. If your dd refuses to attend lessons and spends all her time in inclusion with other kids who don't want to work or be in class, she will not do well educationally. It is of course easier to say that the school are not supporting her. What are you doing?
How can she be late if you are taking her into reception everyday?
What do you do when the school ring to say she is refusing to go into her lesson?
What is the problem with every single lesson in the school?
How can she be supported in class if she refuses to attend?
Why does she not want to attend any lessons?
What support does she need?
Bottom line is that she needs to start working or she will leave with no qualifications. Have you got her a tutor? Is she doing any work with you to catch up? I am guessing not.

Cansu, I think you’re being a little harsh. @WitsHaveEnded sound like they have done an awful lot to try and help their child and school.

It’s not easy with a refuser. I work with a child with ODD and ADHD, they sound very similar. Works well when it’s just 1-2-1 but gets easily overwhelmed and has low self esteem, so if they can’t do something they refuse to work.

Afraid I don’t have any advice, just stick in there.

@cansu thanks for your input 🙂

Unhelpful @cansu
We have jobs to hold down, other children to look after as well. Unfortunately we have to leave our kids at the gate and hope the school is supporting them when they get inside. In many cases they aren’t and then we parents are left dealing with the fallout.

Definitely take her out if she’s unhappy but make her aware she has to go to a secondary school of some description for year 10 and 11. Get the headteacher on side and ask what they can do to help other than just excluding her. They do have a duty of care to her and if they’re not able to keep her in class something is clearly going wrong in terms of safeguarding.