Is this even possible?

[LostFrog]

We live in an area with a 3-tier school system. Ds3 is in Y6, so halfway through his middle school. His school has been going downhill for a while but just got Inadequate from Ofsted. He is a bright, enthusiastic boy, but is being picked on and starting to lose his confidence, and he is not being challenged. Two more years there will be soul destroying. There are no other schools in the area.

I think we have 3 options - 1) home school, but I would have to give up work and I am not confident that I could give him what he needs, 2) move whole family, but I have elderly parents close by, and older siblings would then be affected, 3) dh and ds3 move away to a town 40 miles away with a decent school - near dh’s office. Rent a flat and they come ‘home’ at the weekends. Is this even possible?

What would you do?

I should say - all have financial implications, option 3 would mean me taking on additional hours but I think we could do it.

Don't move or split your family.
Get school to deal with the bullying - don't let it go till they have.
Supplement his schooling with a good tutor and after school activities that boost his confidence.

Is it Minehead? How about Danesfield?

Does DH already commute to the office each day? Finding a school somewhere in the vicinity of his office should be doable without them needing to move?

how does your DH normally get to work?

Wouldn't a private school for 2 years be cheaper then renting a flat?

How far are next nearest schools? Surely one is "commutable"?

Surely there are other schools closer than 40 miles away?

If there is a place in the school near the office get your son in there and he can commute with your husband .

A private school might be cheaper than renting a flat and all the bills it comes with. Or hire private tutors. Most parents get overwhelmed at the thought of homeschooling, nowadays there are a lot of resources easily available and I am sure you will be able to guide him.

Private school £6k per term, so massively more than rental on cheap flat.

Dh generally works from home but goes in one day per week, but could go in more often. Can’t get a place in a school near his office unless we lived there, all are oversubscribed so need to live in catchment.

It’s not just the bullying though, it’s the school itself.

It would be ridiculous to uproot your whole family for these reasons.

1. Deal with the bullying.
2. Try not to over react to the Ofsted.
3. If you think he needs more work or challenge, get a tutor.

How about using something like interhigh , especially if your husband is at home to check he’s up and at the computer , it works out cheaper than independent schools .

I think I read on here once, someone’s opinion that home ed is better than a shit school, nowhere near as good as a good school. I’ve always thought that that probably is the case! It’s not just that he is being picked on, and the Ofsted was no surprise, there is constant low level disruption and a lack of good teaching. Plus the fact that once the SATS are out of the way, they pretty much leave them to coast until they leave at the end of Y8. I just want him to go to a decent school, without having to move the entire family, especially with elderly parents to worry about.

As you are not applying at a normal transition point via normal admissions, you don’t have to live in catchment to be given a place if there is one.

On the other hand, if there is a waiting list and ‘in catchment’ is something that gives priority, then moving into catchment will move you up the waiting list, but not give you a place.

To give you an example, when we moved a while ago, there was a space in DS’s year which we applied for, and got, from about 50 miles away. I applied for a place for DD to start Reception, but as she was not an on time application, she was placed on the waiting list, way down because of the distance.

DS had 2 weeks to take the place up, and we moved into a rented house on the day he started. On the day he started, DD became a sibling, and took a huge step up the waiting list.

Our new address was verified by the Council, and then DD moved almost to the top of the waiting list, as a sibling very close to the school.

3 days before the end if the Summer term, the waiting list moved and she got her place.

So you may not need your ds / dh to move IF there is a place available in his year at a better school anywhere. If there isn’t, you can improve the chances if a waiting list place by moving BUT this is not guaranteed because nobody may leave or others (siblings, LAC, those with EHCPs) may leapfrog him in the waiting list.

You can ask the council where there are places in your DS’s year locally (or ring the schools, especially if they are academies who administer their own waiting lists) to see if there are any acceptable places available for an immediate move. May be unlikely if others think the same about your middle school, but you may get lucky?

Interhigh is 4.5k pa, so more affordable than private or a flat, unless renting is incredibly cheap where you are. If your DS could sit in a room near your DH to log on, that might be the best home ed option.

@cantkeepawayforever thank you. I think the situation is that the good ones are so oversubscribed that even being in catchment doesn’t offer a guarantee these days, but I don’t think he would stand a chance from here. It’s worth a try though.

I am going to look into Interhigh as well, I had forgotten about that. Thank you 😊

Before all of those options I'd apply for a place in any school you think would be suitable. Every one of them.

Then if you get a place work out how to get him there.

Surely it would cost a fortune to run two homes. All your options are very drastic.

I agree with @cantkeepawayforever - you need to try to find out if there are spaces in acceptable schools near your DH's workplace. If you are moving mid-year, then there is only a space if there is a space, IYSWIM - even if you lived next door, you won't get in if there is no space. Equally, if there were a space, you would get it from 100 miles away if no one else needed it.

The catchment thing is a total red herring unless you are applying at a usual point - so in year 6 for most areas with no middle school.

What may be worth trying (tho I would not be keen tbf) is asking schools you like if they have a space. I certainly wouldn't take on a rental with no certainty of getting a space.

Once a school gets graded RI or Inadequate, support comes flooding in. Our primary was absolutely transformed as a result - new leadership team, strong focus on pastoral care, overhaul of the curriculum. It was honestly the best thing that could have happened. So you might find that the school gets a lot better post-Ofsted and that the issues resolve.