How would you feel about this new Y11 prom rule?

[DavesNotHere]

I did post this in chat but got no response so trying here instead. Just wondering how common it is for schools to do this - DCs secondary school is requiring Y11 students to attend a minimum of three exam booster sessions a week from now until the GCSEs begin in order to be eligible to go to the prom. Each session is either 1 hour after school or for the whole lunch break (which would mean eating lunch while in the booster session). It's caused a lot of dismay - most parents seem to feel that kids have been through enough over the last 3 years and the prom (if they want to go) should be a chance to celebrate 5 years of high school, completing their GCSEs, and also the last chance to all be together before they move on - a rite of passage. I would be really interested to hear people's thoughts on this!

Just because you are fortunate to have a sensible school doesn't mean everyone is

When I contacted my sons school to ask about my son going on the end of term trip, which he was way under the attendance % to be included due to illness, they did say that they were going to look at the kids with medical notes etc to explain low attendance, and if they fitted the other criteria, which was good effort grades and less than 3 detentions in a certain period, they would be allowed to go. I had just got in before they had done that.

With respect, that's one school. And it certainly isn't any of the the ones my children have been to.

But if you don’t ask, you don’t know. What I do know is, there were plenty of parents moaning on Facebook and they hadn’t even tried contacting the school or waiting to see if accommodations would be made. Of course schools should say there will be exceptions made when they first mention trips/prom and the criteria to go, but they’re not always ‘on it’ or contact those parents that may need adjustments made separately.

I don’t think my kids school is that great to be honest, but I find if I call or just turn up and be reasonable, it’s quite hard for them to tell me that they’re going to discriminate against my son for being ill or my daughter for having autism. They generally don’t want the hassle of an engaged parent contacting governors or the LEA. In fact I’ve never even needed to contact the head, his staff have always sorted it.

So if your children are chronically ill with medical evidence or have ASD or something, they refuse to make any adjustments? Have you escalated the issue?

Pfft. Very poorly for one whole year. Presumably with a serious illness that was temporary, but well understood to affect attendance.

Try fighting this every year because your child has asthma and being told “sue has asthma and she gets 100% attendance every year, lots of kids have asthma and manage to get 97% attendance. You’re obviously neglecting your child and should go to the GP and get their asthma under better control”

When your child is seeing a consultant! And has an appointment once a month, during school hours which knocks attendance down by 2% straight away.

It’s discriminatory against children who miss a lot of school through illness or disability.

It will also disproportionately negatively impact children with caring responsibilities or chaotic home lives. As well as children who revise better in quiet, non group environments.

Tying the offer of the sessions to attendance at prom is a lazy gimmick to impress Ofsted with no thought to the kids it will negatively impact.

Again though, those parents of chronically ill children should speak to the school and will probably find they’ll be reasonable and accommodating.

Parents shouldn’t have to specifically ask schools not to discriminate against their ill, or disabled, child.

(And I say that as someone who both had a child who I had to fight for and someone who worked in schools for 20 years so is normally very supportive of schools)

👍🏻 Yep. I mean how patronising, her child was poorly for 1 year and she thinks the solution is “talk to the school” and “be reasonable” like those of us who have to talk to the school many times a year, every bloody year not only didn’t think of this, but have only been “moaning on SM.”

Actually it continued over 4 years, but it was year 11 so his last year in school. The ‘battle’ continued at college, that was after having to take a year out of education altogether as he was so poorly.

And my daughters autism definitely isn’t temporary.

I know how hard things can get, believe me. So pfft to you.

See my last post. My sons illness continued for 4 years, just 1 school year which happened to be year 11. Then a year missed due to illness. Then 2 years of still being ill at college.

And a second child with autism. So 👍

And I haven’t said, all schools will be reasonable. Ive said they may be if you talk to them. Lots of parents don’t and just moan as I’ve seen myself. My cousin is one of them.

Lots of parents have had to push and persuade for things throughout secondary. This could be yet another thing. It's exhausting.

those parents of chronically ill children should speak to the school and will probably find they’ll be reasonable and accommodating.

This is what you said that got under my skin. You assumed that parents of chronically ill children are not already speaking to their schools. You didn’t say, oh, lucky for me my school is reasonable. No. You said you should speak to the school and they’ll probably be reasonable. Like WTAF? It’s like you did not even consider that some schools may not be reasonable and had a go at those of us with chronically ill children that do not want yet another battle on our hands to prevent ableist exclusion.

Is the prom free?

Just want to say that I have no issue at all with the teachers, this new policy hasn't come from them. Booster sessions are being offered every day at school and in the teacher's own time which I very much appreciate and DS is attending some of those by his own choice, although as I said previously, he's not finding them massively helpful. I've encouraged him to take up any additional help and support in school as the GCSEs will be a big challenge for him. But I still think it's wrong to make prom attendance dependent on going to 3 a week. As so many people here have pointed out, there are many reasons why that won't work for many students and parents.

Yep. I had my DD (chronic condition) in tears when she discovered attendance over a certain level was required for prom attendance.
As it happened she did hit the attendance level, but she'd already been upset by the idea she might not be able to go due to no fault of her own.

(and yes, she knew I would go and fight for her if it had come to it, but she'd also experienced the school digging its heels in before).

Another point not mentioned already is what about students taking practical NEAs? At about this time of year, by DC were spending a lot of after school time practicing for drama, music and completing art work - for which they had to be in school to use the specialist equipment. Squeezing the amount of time they could spend on their NEAs would not have helped them in the slightest.

I've had years and years of horrific battles with school, particularly for my autistic child (who is thankfully thriving at university now and much, much happier and healthier now he isn't being tortured every day). Far too much to bore you with here.

You've been lucky with your school. Don't let it lead you to dismiss the struggles of parents and children who haven't been so fortunate; getting even the most basic human needs met can be an almighty task when faced with a school management team that doesn't want to compromise and doesn't think your child has any right to be there in the first place.

It’s silly.

Some kids don’t revise as well in a group setting as alone (me and my kids)

Coercive sessions which are resented may not yield the best results

It is probably the kids who most need to attend that won’t

The prom should be a fun and inclusive event. Not used as blackmail

I imagine no teacher wants to do this

I detest the word ‘prom’.

Thanks Heartsandbirds, it's been a difficult few years! Very much looking forward to DS moving on to college - it'll be a much better environment for him. It's half term at the moment so will call next week to see what can be worked out.

That makes your patronising dismissive “talk to the school” comment even more baffling.

Some of us had to battle schools for the entire duration.

And your comment also ignores the fact that parents shouldn’t have to ask or persuade schools not to be discriminatory.

I’m one. Asthma, severe dyslexia, CFS/ME…
In primary school it took an asthma attack on the athletic field and being blue lighted to hospital for the school to accept my consultant letters warning them thar their decision to lock my DCs inhaler in the nurses office and not letting them carry it on them was “potentially life threatening.” They did not care until my child had a brush with death. Only then did they let them carry and use their inhaler as needed. Ffs. That was in 2009 and I’m still angry 😡