Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

How would you feel about this new Y11 prom rule?

123 replies

DavesNotHere · 21/02/2023 10:36

I did post this in chat but got no response so trying here instead. Just wondering how common it is for schools to do this - DCs secondary school is requiring Y11 students to attend a minimum of three exam booster sessions a week from now until the GCSEs begin in order to be eligible to go to the prom. Each session is either 1 hour after school or for the whole lunch break (which would mean eating lunch while in the booster session). It's caused a lot of dismay - most parents seem to feel that kids have been through enough over the last 3 years and the prom (if they want to go) should be a chance to celebrate 5 years of high school, completing their GCSEs, and also the last chance to all be together before they move on - a rite of passage. I would be really interested to hear people's thoughts on this!

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 21/02/2023 14:57

bestbefore · 21/02/2023 14:51

Bloody school wanting the kids to do well in exams and bloody teachers giving up their free time to help them. And bloody school organising a prom. 😱

That's not the point.

Suppose a DC has extra curricular activities straight after school?
Suppose a DC needs 'downtime' after a school day before starting revision?
Suppose a DC manages revision better on their own than in a group?

WhatsGoinOnMama · 21/02/2023 14:58

bestbefore · 21/02/2023 14:51

Bloody school wanting the kids to do well in exams and bloody teachers giving up their free time to help them. And bloody school organising a prom. 😱

You can see why teachers just feel drained and are leaving can’t you? This will help a lot of kids, more than it won’t.

If parents have a genuine issue that makes it difficult for their child to attend, they should contact the school and speak to them like the adult and parent they are supposed to be.

Needmorelego · 21/02/2023 15:04

@MadameSzyszkoBohusz exactly. I said that upthread (and on the similar thread the other week).

bestbefore · 21/02/2023 15:05

@TeenDivided suppose that teacher wants to do something after school or before school or on the day of the prom?

MadameSzyszkoBohusz · 21/02/2023 15:06

Ah, my fault, didn't RTFT!

Just asking as my DD would probably go to revision sessions quite happily, but would hate to go to prom!

TeenDivided · 21/02/2023 15:09

Then the teacher can. They aren't obliged to do revision sessions. They certainly aren't obliged to attend prom.

Furthermore any one teacher may only be running 1 session weekly and should be able to select the day they run their session. Mandating pupils attend 3 sessions weekly is too much. Neither of my DDs would have coped. DD1 did 1-1 revision with me at a pace she could cope with, DD2 was completely exhausted after a day at school.

Needmorelego · 21/02/2023 15:09

@MadameSzyszkoBohusz I would have used non attendance at the revision sessions as an excuse to get out of the horror and peer pressure to attend prom.
'Banning' me from prom would have been my dream.

longestlurkerever · 21/02/2023 15:09

It's the extrinsic motivation that's off imo, not the sessions or the expectations of attendance. If prom's a right of passage it shouldn't be so conditional - it's more of a good bye and good luck well wishing event, and if you're turning it into some kind of attendance reward it's of a different character altogether, and one some kids will only be too keen to opt out of. The sessions should be valued in and of themselves and the prom also.

BasiliskStare · 21/02/2023 15:21

@longestlurkerever The sessions should be valued in and of themselves and the prom also.

I agree

I do also agree with teachers giving up their own time to help the pupils get the best marks possible is to be appreciated . But for reasons others have expressed better than me if for reasons they cannot give up lunchtime or an hour after school , I do not see why the pupil should not be able to go to the prom ( if they want to ) .

My son was once told off because a sports team was down a person and form teacher came to see him and his friend who were revising for an A Level and said I need one of you to join the team right now. They didn't & were sent into the office for a round ticking off. They took the ticking off and got good marks in the exam - perhaps the very opposite of the OP's post. DS told me this & I was quite laid back about it. DS wasn't trying for a sport scholarship but he did need to get the A levels he needed for the University he wanted ( as did his friend ) We heard nothing else about it . Storm in a tea cup

I think the DCs should be encouraged to attend the sessions ( which I would thank the teachers for ) but not have a sword of Damocles over their head if there are proper reasons for them not doing so

Greensleeves · 21/02/2023 15:27

Prom has become a ridiculous overblown pastiche of itself in any case, but that's a separate argument. I find it abhorrent that school SLTs routinely use them - for months preceding the event - as an all-purpose blackmail tool. Abhorrent, but not surprising, given the culture in secondary education at the moment which tends towards lazy, shoddy, one-size-fits-all behaviour modification programmes, mostly off-the-peg and nothing to do with responding to actual cohorts of children or local social considerations. It's a parlous state of affairs that in 2023 the best approach to children we can come up with is to threaten, brutalise and squash them, weeding out and isolating anybody with additional support needs and fetishising conformity to a degree worthy of a Victorian penal colony.

sealon82 · 21/02/2023 15:33

I think it's probably best to support the school, they are going above and beyond to make sure these children achieve there full potential. Only issue could be if the booster class is full of children who don't want to be there it could be disruptive to the children who really need it, that's why it's important that the parents are on the same page as the teachers.

RememberFlimsy · 21/02/2023 15:40

If my kids were doing well at school, I would be very unhappy about it.

raguragu · 21/02/2023 15:43

I think it's a good idea to offer an incentive but two a week would be better. Three feels a lot

ArmchairAnarchist2 · 21/02/2023 15:45

DD has five hours a week, (set 1) which they are more than encouraged to attend. She sees them as beneficial, especially the extra maths ones (I think it's pure maths) because that isn't taught in normal lessons. The criteria for attending prom is a minimum 97% attendance of school from the beginning of this term until they leave.

eleanorwish · 21/02/2023 15:48

I'd tell mine to go, even if they didn't want to go to the prom.

SweetSakura · 21/02/2023 15:51

I would be cross. We are paying a lot for a private English tutor for DD as she has made lots of progress. I would rather she could prioritise those sessions.

Onnabugeisha · 21/02/2023 15:54

I would be livid. We live rurally and the DC have to bus into the catchment village college as our village has no secondary school (too small). What about the kids that bus into your school? Is the school going to hold their busses an hour? Most parents depend on that transport to get their children home…how are they going to be able to get a kid home that has to stay after school an extra hour 3x a week?

Btw, lunch sessions are useless. Shouldn’t even be offering them.

Onnabugeisha · 21/02/2023 15:56

The criteria for attending prom is a minimum 97% attendance of school from the beginning of this term until they leave.

Thats so ableist because children with chronic health conditions are eliminated from prom though no fault of their own.

Onnabugeisha · 21/02/2023 16:01

Eatentoomanyroses · 21/02/2023 11:54

If your child has some additional need that makes this difficult for them you can raise it with the school and I’m sure allowances would be made.

This is true, but every parent with DC that have additional needs will tell you they don’t need yet another battle to fight with the school just to prevent their child from being excluded from prom.

WhatsGoinOnMama · 21/02/2023 16:08

Onnabugeisha · 21/02/2023 15:56

The criteria for attending prom is a minimum 97% attendance of school from the beginning of this term until they leave.

Thats so ableist because children with chronic health conditions are eliminated from prom though no fault of their own.

Again though, those parents of chronically ill children should speak to the school and will probably find they’ll be reasonable and accommodating.

My son was very poorly during one school year, and his attendance was well under the % needed for the end of school year theme park trip. I spoke to the school and because he was a good kid with no detentions and a good attitude they agreed he could go. They were very reasonable. Meanwhile others in my position whinged on facebook about how unreasonable the school were. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I suggested talking to the school as I had done and was ignored. Parents need to speak to school, instead they moan on social media and get everyone else worked up too.

Greensleeves · 21/02/2023 16:11

Again though, those parents of chronically ill children should speak to the school and will probably find they’ll be reasonable and accommodating.

I admit to a hollow laugh at the idea that this is universally true. But even if it were true, parents of children with additional needs and chronic illnesses should not have to go cap in hand to SLT for exceptions, because the default rule is to exclude them.

We need a less adversarial attitude towards children and families in education. It isn't a fucking war.

TeenDivided · 21/02/2023 16:11

Onnabugeisha · 21/02/2023 16:01

This is true, but every parent with DC that have additional needs will tell you they don’t need yet another battle to fight with the school just to prevent their child from being excluded from prom.

Show quote history

Agree.

Comefromaway · 21/02/2023 16:12

How naive to think that the majority of schools are reasonable and accommodating to young people with SEN or health issues.

(I speak from experience)

WhatsGoinOnMama · 21/02/2023 16:14

Onnabugeisha · 21/02/2023 16:01

This is true, but every parent with DC that have additional needs will tell you they don’t need yet another battle to fight with the school just to prevent their child from being excluded from prom.

Show quote history

It was a 3 minute phone call to ask for my sons illness to be taken into account. They e mailed back the next day to say he’d be allowed.

My other child has autism, if prom was important to her and she didn’t feel she could cope with extra revision sessions, it’s a ‘battle’ I’d face and likely not be a battle at all. Just be honest and reasonable.

WhatsGoinOnMama · 21/02/2023 16:18

Comefromaway · 21/02/2023 16:12

How naive to think that the majority of schools are reasonable and accommodating to young people with SEN or health issues.

(I speak from experience)

I speak from experience to. My youngest has autism. If they were not reasonable, I’d take her out.

I have had battles with the school but on things like this that are simple for the school and require no work, it’s been easy.

Swipe left for the next trending thread