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Secondary education

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FFS prom dresses. How much are you paying?

85 replies

bellinisurge · 12/01/2023 11:28

It appears I should think upward of £300. Dd said "you'd think I'd want something quirky but I don't ".
We never had this bollocks in the 1980s when I was her age. School leavers disco.

We live just outside East Manchester. Nothing fancy. But all the effing shops seem stupid prices.

So what's your budget?

OP posts:
WombatChocolate · 12/01/2023 17:41

The trouble lies when girls have an idea that only a £300 dress will do, along with shoes, bags, tans, cars etc etc. Some will totally believe this is what everyone has and their social life will be ruined forever without it all. If you have a girl who takes this kind of view, you have a hard job.

Ebay has new dress sellers with perfectly decent dresses for £30. To be honest, unless you looked really closely, you probably wouldn’t tell the difference. Given it will prob need adjusting, it’s good to keep cost down.

Do bear in mind that most girls will then refuse to wear the same dress to their 6th Form leaver ball and want another.

My view is YOU set a budget. Don’t be told by them. Make sure the budget includes accessories. Realise parents can get caught up in this too and start chatting with their mates so it feels £500 is necessary and normal.

Perfectly nice dresses out there for £35, for £50 and under £100. Bargains to be had for £10 if they are willing to try secondhand.

This is a good time to talk about values and what matters. They will all look beautiful.

AnyOldThings · 12/01/2023 18:50

Can’t lie. DD’s last year was £350 but it was utterly stunning and the memory of her in it will last a lifetime. I’d not set out to pay that much but it was worth it and I paid it in instalments.

It’s not necessary to spend that much. Just sometimes works out that way if you let them anywhere near the expensive rail 😂

WombatChocolate · 12/01/2023 19:02

Yes, if you go to a specialist shop, where all the dresses are expensive, they are v likely to walk out with an expensive one and not want the £35 version that’s online.

I think that sometimes parents don’t think through budget first but just say ‘let’s go and look’at a specialist bridal/prom shop. Then it’s v. difficult to walk away and go for the cheaper option.

Work out a rough budget first then identify the kind of places in that budget. Those are the places to go and not elsewhere.

For people wanting to see dresses, big Monsoons (or online) have lots and they have good sales. Quiz have some big branches too. John Lewis have good evening wear and have good sales on now.

Of course those wanting to spend mega bucks can do so. I think the Prom for Yr11 is a relatively new thing, whereas a Leavers Ball at 18 often existed before. At 18 many have become a bit more sensible, but at 16, for some it really is about bling, fake tans and spending mega bucks and telling everyone what your dress cost, that seems to count. In my mind, really they are a bit young and like the Leavers Hoody working it’s way down to primary schools etc, by doing stuff too young, you lose the specialness of doing it at a more appropriate age. But it might be just me who thinks that and anyway Yr11 Proms are here to stay now.

For anyone feeling pushed towards the expensive dress who isn’t comfortable really, just know that there are heaps of dresses out there under £100 and under £50. Any girl going in one of those won’t look out of place or fail to have a good time.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 12/01/2023 19:13

DD1 wore a £80 sale price number from Monsoon. If she hadn’t left it until the weekend before to buy something, we could well have found a cheaper option.

Her VI form Leaver’s Ball outfit was only £24 from Topshop. She wore it again at a work ball this Christmas.

DD2 wore a 1950s green satin dress that I’d bought from a charity shop in Hull 25 years ago for £3 (price label was still on it). It did cost £7 to have it professionally pressed.

Shoes came from New Look and Primark. A £8 clutch bag (reduced by 70% in the Monsoon sale) was used for all 3 occasions.

DD1’s Prom and Leavers’ Ball took place in 2017/2019. On the whole, her friends seemed to have spent more than DD2’s friends, who had their Prom cancelled in 2020. Some had already bought outfits before lockdown, and wore them 2 years later. But a lot of them seemed to go for the charity shop option.

jtaeapa · 12/01/2023 19:14

WTF
Shein
Not entirely sure on the ethics, but my dd got a special dress from there and it was about £20. It washes well and looks great.

coralgeo · 12/01/2023 19:16

We're a way off this yet but given that my actual wedding dress cost £400 there's no way on earth DD will be having a prom dress costing hundreds. She will be doing her own hair and makeup too. It's a glorified school disco ffs.

IrisJoy · 12/01/2023 19:19

Another vote for JJs house. My dd has had two dresses there for under £100 and they look much more expensive

Hoppinggreen · 12/01/2023 19:19

Didn’t have a budget, DDs cost £350 plus shoes, hair, make up.
I didn’t mind and she didn’t demand anything and has very happy and grateful

moonbows · 12/01/2023 19:20

Crumbs. first prom in our household coming up this year. What do the boys wear?? I have given this less than zero thought!

The4teddybears · 12/01/2023 19:20

Ohh. I’ve got my 2 daughters dresses in the wardrobe . Been there for 5 and 7 years. I’m going to wash and sell them . Thanks for the reminder that it’s prom dress buying season .
Ps message me if you’re interested in size 10 knee length shocking pink, flared bottom , strapless sequinned top. Or a size 12/14 deep purple floor length strapless , fitted top. Both beautiful 😻

AuntieMarys · 12/01/2023 19:24

Dd had a jersey maxi from Oasis, flat sandals she already had and that was it. £30 in total about 10 years ago.

Shunkleisshiny · 12/01/2023 19:32

One of the charity shops in our village organises a Prom Dress evening, the manageress is great and very community minded. Racks of dresses plus shoes, bags and accessories are put out for the Prom attendees to look through, try on and buy. Beauticians and hairdressers are on hand to give advice and they are always a great success. The village is in an affluent area, so the customers get really beautiful dresses at a bargain price.

ODFOx · 12/01/2023 19:36

Thank goodness my older three were still having discos, next chose not to go and youngest went quirky: black cocktail dress from ASOS with chunky black boots and mad hair. She dId her own make up but some of her friends had MUA which seemed ott. However she did spend (what I consider to be) a fortune on having her nails done.

The girls in beautiful chiffon or satin long simple dresses looked just as glam and fabulous as the ones in structured prom dresses.

crumpet · 12/01/2023 19:36

Dd borrowed an old dress from her stepmother. Dress probably from 80s/early 90s. She looked lovely. New shoes, and didn’t bother with professional hair/makeup nails.

Greenshake · 12/01/2023 19:36

purplepencilcase · 12/01/2023 15:44

How utterly ridiculous. Why does this event even happen? I feel desperately sorry for those who can't afford it but feel pressured into conforming to this nonsense.
What horrible pressure for everyone. I bet it's not worth the stress half the time,

I am completely with you, it is so excessive.

DumpedByText · 12/01/2023 19:41

My DD dress is £400, but my cousin owns the shop and we got a generous discount. I gave her a £300 budget and she chose the first dress she tried on. We've got hair, make up and shoes yet! 😲 Thankfully her dad has said he'll pay for everything.

Bogglebrain · 12/01/2023 20:12

I spent about £80 on a dress. It wasn’t the most ‘fashionable’ but she liked it well enough. It was actually quite hard to find something to suit her figure so in the end she was just grateful to find anything (she’s quite busty so needed to be able to wear a bra, with a tiny waist and bigger hips - hour glass I suppose but not particularly tall).

I certainly wouldn’t have paid more than £300. She didn’t bother with make up and wore trainers (wanted to be comfy!) so the only extra I paid was for her to have her big, long hair washed and blow-dried nicely at the hairdressers.

However, I know my other fashion conscious DD14 won’t be so easily pleased when it’s her turn!

Wavingnotdowning · 12/01/2023 20:15

£5. from the local charity shop - although she didn't tell any of her friends that!!

primeoflife · 12/01/2023 20:17

We rented a dress, included all alterations. Much more environmentally friendly too

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 12/01/2023 20:19

I spent £180 in the end, dd tried on loads of cheaper dresses but none felt right.

We went to a prom boutique and got one in the sale, originally the dress had been over £300 😳

I only have one dd and she looked beautiful so it was worth it imo.

nancyglancy · 12/01/2023 20:25

DD got hers for £14 in the next sale before she knew whether there would actually be a prom. She looked fab. It's one night!

clary · 12/01/2023 21:53

Dd got a £45 dress from ASOS for her sixth form prom. She looked lovely and had a great time. This was four years ago.

snowtrees · 12/01/2023 23:38

It's all spiralled in last 15 years. I'll be heading to TK Max with DD several times to look

Yalz · 12/01/2023 23:47

If you and she are happy to buy it now Debenhams has a good selection of prom dresses in the sale at very reasonable prices. There’s free postage until midnight today, but that might be extended?

Yalz · 12/01/2023 23:54

Also look in the bridesmaid and evening dress sections.