SW London Private & Grammar - applying for year 7 in 2023 (Part III)

[QuiteAJourney]

Continuation from

www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/4697901-sw-london-private-grammar-applying-for-year-7-in-2023-part-ii?page=40&reply=122947087

An opportunity for parents of DC applying to private and grammar schools in SW London for entry in year 7 in 2023 to share their journeys.

It is a no for us from spgs unfortunately

so sorry. same for us, another school up in smoke for us. we're not having much success, gotta believe we didn't do this right.

@11minus and @Lolakath19 sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the best with upcoming results.

@Lolakath19 @11minus sorry to hear. Hopefully it works with other options.

Now I don't know what to do, do I tell my DC that she didn't get the SPGS interview? Or will that unsettle her ahead of other potential interviews? I feel like I really let her down.

What are her other options at the moment, 11minus?

I'm so sorry you've had such a disappointment. SPGS is such a tough exam. I definitely wouldn't tell your DD until she's sat the other interviews. You can easily fudge it if she asks eg "SPGS have delayed some of their interviews until the end of the month so I'm not expecting to hear for a few weeks." Let her focus on the interviews she's still got, and don't derail her for those.

Are there other schools in the mix that you both like?

@Lolakath19 Really sorry to hear that. Such a tough process all round.

@11minus you have not let her down. She has done very well and there are others schools than spgs. What I will tell my daughter is that it is their loss!!
she is kind and hardworking. And she will do well anywhere she goes because of that.

i am not sure I will tell her before G&L
i am split between telling her after as she sometimes lacks confidence or now emphasising that this is just one school out of the other and it is not a big thing not to have passed.

half her class was sitting the exam so she will probably hear girls talking about it this week ..

That's exactly right, the kids at school will talk. I really do not want to lie to her, I feel really uncomfortable doing that. But when you get multiple rejections and others are getting everything, and then you gotta go into another school for an interview, it could be really unsettling.

Thanks everyone for their words of support, very kind

Perhaps you could ask admissions? Maybe they would tell you?

@Lolakath19

I’m sorry about the news. My DD also got a no from her first choice school and it is hard to know what to do with other interviews still going on. She is going back to school tomorrow, the kids talk at school and I don’t want to put her in a worse position by not telling her.

Sorry to hear those not having gone through to interview. With my older DD (several years back) I said our letter must have been delayed/gone to wrong email to buy some time for other interviews. The news would have crushed her confidence, but you have to decide based on how your DC will take the news. Conversely my older son would have taken it as a challenge to up his game for other interviews.

Up thread someone mentioned being offered places even after receiving a 'no' from LU and KCS. Was this having had interviews/passed all stages of admissions and then receiving a no rather than WL place? I'm still surprised by this - schools exhausting their WL.

The more I think about it, the more incline I am to tell her tonight. It is better for her to learn it from me rather than on the playground when someone will say she has been invited back and understanding that means she was not through..

I also think if many in the school took the exam for the same schools to tell her. You want to be the one to tell her and not other kids.

My dd also did not get through spgs. I know she will be devastated as she's been eagerly waiting. But I will tell her tonight so she has time to recover. It will be much worse if she figures out in the school. And they are clever enough to figure that out if others have their result and they don't ! Good luck to everyone! This 11+ is such a tough process 😫

@Lolakath19 does she know that results/ invites were out today? IF she does I'm guessing it'll be hard to fib to her anyway that you haven't received anything. But of course you know her best and I'm sure whatever you decide will be the right thing for her.

My DD was lucky enough to get through to interview. Going to have to sell a kidney and a limb or two for her to actually go there, mind.

I'm usually on the Higher Ed board these days. Yesterday, Oxford offers were out - every year 24,000 apply and only 4,000 accepted. That means 20,000 very disappointed young people - year on year - all of which will have worked very hard to get the very top grades. Cambridge offers are in two weeks and it will be exactly the same.

I only mention this because applying somewhere like SPGS or many of the schools in this area, is basically the 11 year-old version of applying to Oxbridge! I think it's such a bubble in this area and it's easy to forget that these are some if the top schools in the entire U.K and unfortunately, year-on-year, the vast majority of very able DC will be disappointed at one or more schools. 1,400 for LU means 1,250 receiving a 'no.' If 900-1000 sit for SPGS or G&L, the reality is the vast majority (800 or so) cannot get offers. This is a brutal process and there nothing like it anywhere else in the U.K.

On SPGS... if they sat round 2, they were in the top half of the cohort that year - all of whom would have been one of the highest academic performers in their respective primaries (or they wouldn't have been applying at all). So they have done very well. You can tell them that they were in the top half and very, very well done.

If it's any consolation, this process does give them more of a certain type of resilience than most DC will have. When they come up against stiff competition later in life (and they will!) - eg. during the UCAS process - they are far less phased by it (unlike students who have never gone through competitive admissions processes / never experienced rejection and have been told they are 'top' etc, etc all through school).

Hang in there. They WILL get a place somewhere and even though this 11 plus process is hideously drawn out, they will have something to celebrate at the end. They can only go to one school snd that's all they need. All the schools are excellent. Always better to have tried and not quite succeeded, then to never have tried at all (god, I sound like my mother now)! But hopefully, you know what I mean.

@sheofthecats that is a really great post. Thank you for taking the time to write it.

@sheofthecats brilliantly put. Thank you for sharing.

And if it's any consolation, my DD had an interview at SPGS some years ago and she still did not get in. It was the only "horrible" (in her words) interview she had and that was because the man made her feel extremely uncomfortable by leaning forward and peering closely at her and giving her no encouragement whatsoever. It totally unnerved her snd she said she felt as if she hadn't been herself. Another teacher, maybe it would have been different? Who can say? Anyway, she ended up at 'the other' Hammersmith girls' school and could not have achieved higher grades and also got into Oxbridge, so SPGS' loss really.

Agreed, so much of life is luck. My DD's SPGS interview was with two teachers in the exact subjects my DD likes the most. What if she instead got teachers from subjects she likes less? Who knows. She's there and very happy, but it's just what happens. I see it in my own career. Do your best and keep marching forward. Good luck to everyone.

We were lucky to have a yes, but results in our class are a bit all over the place, with some very strong academic girls not being called back and some less academic making it to second round..

I guess that is the pb with one exam day you only judge on perf of the day?

Emanuel interviews a lot of pupils to find out their passion and interests beyond the grades of the exams and school reports ie. Music, Girls playing football, Ballet, Coding, Swimming, Musical theatres, Arts and crafts, Cricket, Gardening etc.

Yup, and it carries thru for the entire academic career. You can only apply to Oxford or Cambridge, but my American and European friends' DCs get to apply to both. Then you hopefully get a conditional offer, but one little slip-up in your A-levels and your offer is gone...which you only find out just weeks before you're supposed to start school. Sounds like a great system.