SW London Private & Grammar - applying for year 7 in 2023 (Part III)

[QuiteAJourney]

Continuation from

www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/4697901-sw-london-private-grammar-applying-for-year-7-in-2023-part-ii?page=40&reply=122947087

An opportunity for parents of DC applying to private and grammar schools in SW London for entry in year 7 in 2023 to share their journeys.

Bottom line, don’t listen to all the noise out there and decide what is best for your DCs

I think this was the exact point that @swgeek had been trying to make. A pp had made a big deal about an out of date isi report at epsom and swgeek had been saying that their own dc were extremely happy there, other parents were also delighted at the experience their dc are having and that some of their friends at other schools that were seen to be absolutely fine pastorally had had experiences that were contrary to this. It was only when pressed on what those experiences were that swgeek expanded on that. Clearly your dds are very happy at their school which is great. However the nature of secondary schools, especially girls only schools, is that there will always be cliques and sometimes this is hard for individual dcs. Yet others are more independent and don't care.

I'm super glad I looked past that out of date isi report. The new head is fresh and innovative and I thought super caring about the dc, she is a mum herself. It was Croydon high gdst she came from, I forgot. So I imagine she will turn the place around if there is any residual issue.

I just have to now decide girls only or mixed but I seem to be talking myself into mixed now as I seem to be liking epsom more and more! Need dd to get in though of course...

Does anyone know which exams were held yesterday and today? Thanks

I don't know about yesterday but I think Downsend was going to be today and tomorrow. Apart from that one I think everyone we know is finished exams.

@swgeek @cerealchange - aplogies if I’ve caused upset. I only posted about the iSi info because it was on another thread and is an objective document and so I see it as ‘above the noise’. If the inspectors (who I hope are quite objective) have found failings, then it is a worry for me, and that’s why - a personal choice - we have ruled it out for DD2, but I appreciate I don’t have a child there, so no ‘insider knowledge’

The truth is there will be good and bad in all schools, but I think any parent should look at and read the inspection reports on all schools they are applying for. They are the objective measure, surely?

Parents (rightly) are likely to be defensive about their own children’s schools, and also to be really positive - because they made the choice to send them there.

i agree it’s about mutual fit in all schools, and
that’s why my three go to different schools and are likely to end up at different secondary schools too. It’s a complete logistical nightmare, but I am looking for the right place for the right child and I think what everyone has said about ignoring the hype around some schools is crucial.

Every one of these schools is amazing. I’m sorry if I’ve caused offence by referring to an inspection report, but I do think the contents of that report are worrying. I don’t think it’s out of date though as it’s the latest one on the website. I’m sure it’s an amazing school though, and will be the right fit for many children, as will every school mentioned here.

As you’ve said, @LondonMum20222 everyone in DD’s class last year is happy (and the two who weren’t, it was actually their first choice). Everyone got a great school and is succeeding there. They went to lots of different places, from St Paul’s to Radnor and everyone is settled. It all works out in the end.

having been through this process before I think some of these comments are a little unhelpful, and I never understand on mumsnet this desperate need to justify own school choices by berating other schools (which is exactly what you did @swgeek by naming 2 specific girls schools and saying that parents want to send you her siblings elsewhere) and sorry to say but I doubt that “everyone” at Epsom wants to send their younger kids there … kids are different and that is why is so great to have so many options out there.

And from personal experience I think the whole “strong clique” thing sadly happens also at co-ed schools and not just at all girls schools! In fact is also happens at all boys schools….

I know the senior schools would normally inform the prep or primary schools after giving the offers. But would they inform the prep or primary schools of the status, that is, if the child has passed a certain stage or progressed to the interview stage?

My prep has never asked us the status. I wonder if they are not interested at all or they know the progess.

Our head told us that the vast majority of senior school heads will inform the prep heads at each stage before informing the parents. So my guess is that they already know. I don't think the prep heads will start to proactively engage though until mid February when places and waiting lists are known.

Wouldn't it be an enormous task? Many senior schools have applicants from hundreds of schools! Inputting hundreds of email addresses and sending hundreds of emails.

I ask this question because my prep seems so uninterested in our progress, or at least my son's progress.

@AC7001 personally, I have informed our prep of the progress - partly in case they found it useful to keep track of things, also as a way of explaining why my DD would be taking further time off.

The prep did ask which schools we applied to but never asked about the progress. Of course, we would seek permission for time off for exams or interviews but many are on Saturdays.

Many posts here said the prep head told them this or that (e.g. how many get through to this or that stage etc). Also, I saw some posts say that some prep heads would not allow everyone to apply to certain schools (supposedly the very top ones and would refuse to write references), and looked as if you need their approvals. In our case, seemed no one cared. You can apply to any school (and they will write references and whatever numbers you want, some applied over 10 as far as I know). This of course may not be bad. But I just found it odd or was it our prep was not doing enough?

I assume they have a system worked out on how to do it. Like @QuiteAJourney I have also let our head know in the context of absences. Especially as not all schools let them know and I doubt any give them details beyond this is who they are taking through to the next stage and who they aren't.

The heads go through it every year so are probably a bit immune to it all....not like us mums!

@AC7001 we mostly followed our head's advice on where to apply. There were a few people in the year group who were clearly overreaching and I assume they still got references but not glowing ones.

We were told it would be a tough year for applications and all encouraged to apply for more schools than usual and have a clear back-up school. Not everyone took the advice though.

@VickiMent curious to know why it is thought to be a tough year? I’m beginning to be really scared we will come out with nothing. I actually feel weak at the knees sometimes ( sorry that does sound so dramatic!). We are at a state school so we don’t have the comfort of a prep.

My experience is very similar to @VickiMent's.
Our school provided advice on schools that we might want to consider, which reflected DD's academics, interests and personality and our preferences. We then visited and came up with a short list with a spread of "ambition". We shared the list with them and they thought it was a good one (in fact, they suggested that we did not need to be so cautious on the back up front but they understood our risk aversion and that doing so was a way of managing any anxieties, including my DD's). There was not push back needed and it was very much a team effort.... hence also why I have kept them posted.
I know of parents that have not followed their advice and aimed quite high up the ambitious list - the school has still provided references but obviously I cannot comment on content.
I do know that parents that had thought of applying to only 3 schools (even with a spread) were told to add another one or 2.

Every single message I received from schools so far cited sth along the lines of tough year, so many strong candidates etc. I am hoping they schools are exaggerating - or maybe I hope so in an effort to keep sane and not feel too scared.

KCS interview tomorrow and lucky to have a few others in the coming days but I really want this process over and with a happy ending!

We were not told specifically that it was a tough year but there was mention of natality peak in 2011 and 2012, people applying to more schools and co-Ed being particularly in demand.
I hope it goes well for you and your DC - which options do you still have in the running? I know this waiting impasse is the worse but there is not much that we can (anyone of us, with DCs at state or preps) do beyond wait and hope.

Volume of applications was the main reason. We were told waiting lists were slower than usual to move than last year and we needed to to apply to more because of that. Counterintuitive as it probably makes the problem worse. Earlier threads do imply a lot of people did more applications than usual.

On a positive note people can only accept one place so schools will probably all over offer and waiting lists will probably all move (eventually).

We definitely need to encourage people not to sit on places they don't intend to take. I have enquired at a few schools and they have said that they'll over offer and if and when enough people decline they will make waiting list offers there and then, they do not wait until March as has been implied before.

I expect they always say that!

@momomamiko good luck tomorrow!

Thank you @VickiMent and same to your DC for their next stop in the process.

Interesting, I did not get this impression from the schools messages. However, I did get that impression from a few pp on mumsnet. But the schools never mentioned in the emails about the other candidates. We applied to G&L, FHSS, Putney and Emanuel. Did the emails say anything else besides so many strong candidates?

I did hear from one parent with a daughter at a selective prep that feeds to St Pauls, G&L and LU that they had a very strong cohort, as the girls spent the lock down preparing for the 11+ (too bad we did not know we were applying to the 11+ during that time!!!!!). So maybe that is the reason for many strong candidates.

The wait is so long to find out! Good luck!

Schools said all of that last year! It’s spiel I think. Makes their school seem more in demand maybe!
our prep head heard directly from Surbiton, Sutton and kingston directly, definitely. She knew about DD’s places (and also that best friend had not been offered) and also when we withdrew after first round of one of them. I imagine it’s all on a database and auto-generated - most schools now are using online applications. She also heard about the Kent grammar test - I know because we were considering moving, so dd had sat that test.

Are extremely soft spoken and serious natured students underestimated during interviews? My DD is a child of few words but when asked a question, will answer to the best of her knowledge but in a very soft and low voice and in a serious tone. She hates drawing attention to herself. She is the textbook definition of an introvert but won’t shy away from raising her hand if she wants to contribute to a serious academic discussion. Is it common for interviewers to come across such 10-11 year olds?

@SamPoodle123

...the competition for places in Year 7 was particularly intense this year.

...we’ve had a large and strong field of applicants this year.

...It was an extraordinarily competitive field this year.

...It has been an enormous task reading through a record number of applications

Excerpts from a few schools - and then of course LU didnt comment perse but numbers in the email were self explanatory I guess :)

My dd is also coming from a state primary with no guidance or help. I was quite worried after the exams during the long wait, but my dd got to the interview stages, so I felt a little less worried. However, the chances are only 50% (it seems anyway!) once you reach the interview stage, so still a little worried. Do other kids at your dc school also do 11+? My dd only knew of 2 other dc, not really her friends so it felt like no one was doing it.

Someone I know who has a daughter in a selective prep said its a tough year because of the strong cohort. Many spent the lockdown studying for the 11+ (at her school anyway). Others have mentioned higher birthrate as well.