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Secondary education

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Original poster

Mistaken Identity?

34 replies

IsItAllAMistake · 17/10/2022 18:28

Want to pick your brains on something - I really want to believe my daughter and my gut says she’s telling the truth - but we all know that things aren’t always what they seem.

DD is one of those kids who always does their best, is kind, polite, and excels in most subjects. Never had a sanction or demerit in her life, and school reports always sing her praises. Just an all round nice kid and she makes me exceptionally proud.

She is at an independent school and holds a scholarship in a creative subject. Her teacher this year is new to the school. Just got her first report and this teacher has given her the lowest possible grade. DD is in floods of tears and really doesn’t understand it. Then she “clicked”. She sits next to and looks very similar to another girl who is very easily distracted - low level disruption, chatting etc. There have been several instances where the teacher has told my DD to stop talking (using her name) when she isn’t- it’s this other girl.

DD is convinced that the teacher has got them muddled up. It is literally the only thing she can think of. I mean, just how likely is this or is she just trying to come up with an excuse to cover her arse?

OP posts:
Autumnisclose · 17/10/2022 18:29

How would the teacher muddle up the work when it's checked though ?

RedHelenB · 17/10/2022 18:35

Grade for effort or attainment? I'm sure when it's parents evening you'll get to the bottom of it. You need to reassure her that there is no need to get so upset over it though, mistake or not.

Soapboxqueen · 17/10/2022 18:36

I think the only thing to do is to ask for an explanation from the school as to why a previously will behaved, well performing child is suddenly not.

Say you are confused as to why, according to them, there has been a drastic change and the school haven't contacted you before this point.

If her work as slipped, all to see examples of work that isn't up to her usual standard and what she could do to improve.

If they can't answer these things then you can bring up that you think the teacher has confused two children.

MadeForThis · 17/10/2022 18:52

Arrange a meeting with the teacher.

Original poster
IsItAllAMistake · 17/10/2022 18:57

The subject is drama and there’s no written work or anything to hand in to grade as it were. Any other subject and there would be proof IYSWIM.

She’s in tears because underperformance can lead to a scholarship being removed. I get that.

OP posts:
Original poster
IsItAllAMistake · 17/10/2022 18:58

School has broken up for half term already so she has this hanging over her for two weeks until she goes back.

OP posts:
notasoldasiseem · 17/10/2022 18:59

It is very possible. It happened to me - teacher began to speak to my parents and then realised that they were talking about the wrong child. I suggest you ask the teacher quietly whether this is possible

cansu · 17/10/2022 19:00

Just ask. It is possible and in fact likely.

Testina · 17/10/2022 19:03

Is that literally all you’ve received? An attainment grade, no other comment?

Original poster
IsItAllAMistake · 17/10/2022 19:04

Just wanted to check that I wasn’t having the wool pulled over my eyes…….. In my head I thought it could be a possibility but then we all like to believe our children are little angels.

OP posts:
AmberGer · 17/10/2022 19:06

When I was at school I was constantly mistaken for my friend and vice versa in one subject, she would mark our homework and hand us back the wrong one (each others).
Just ring up the school.
This has obviously happened and could have a detrimental effect on your daughter.

Original poster
IsItAllAMistake · 17/10/2022 19:08

Testina · 17/10/2022 19:03

Is that literally all you’ve received? An attainment grade, no other comment?

We get a kind of tracking score that is for progress and hers is the lowest, and for effort she also has the lowest grade. No commentary, just these indicators.

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forevercooking · 17/10/2022 19:11

My name was changed by deed pole whilst I was at secondary school. My mum got sent 2 school reports that year - one in each name. Sayings opposite things. I think the teachers just used to make it up

FictionalCharacter · 17/10/2022 19:22

It does sound likely, if the teacher tells DD to stop talking when it's the other girl who was talking. Hopefully DD will be confident enough to bring this up in front of the teacher at parents' evening. Couldn't she have spoken to the teacher about this before though, if it happens a lot?

Original poster
IsItAllAMistake · 17/10/2022 19:45

She’s the sort of child who would just let it ride as she doesn’t want to make a fuss. Seems like it’s come back to bite her on the bum.

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SettingPrecedents · 17/10/2022 19:49

Sounds possible, especially if there’s no written work to grade.

Very poor of the school/teacher to give the lowest grade with zero commentary. I’d contact them to question it from that angle in the first instance.

MrsMinted · 17/10/2022 19:54

Just email the head of year and ask for an explanation! Mention your dd is upset and worried she has been muddled up with [name of other student]

MingoDringo · 17/10/2022 19:55

We've had this at our school. One of the teachers mixed the reports and my son got a glowing music report and another kid in a different class with his name got a terrible one.

We flagged it as it was so obviously wrong and it was human error.

emanonsah · 17/10/2022 22:28

Poor thing. I'm a teacher and I have seen this done to a couple of kids by a lazy teacher who hadn't got to know their class well enough. They have only been back at school for six weeks and probably only have drama for one period a week and as Drama is not a core subject I wouldn't be surprised if that teacher teaches about 50 percent of the school so hasn't got to grips with names yet. Just email the head of year and be really nice and suggest that there might be an identity mix up. You might even hear back this week as many teachers who have the two week half term use the opportunity to catch up on work in the first week and have the second week off at the same time as their friends in state schools

Original poster
IsItAllAMistake · 17/10/2022 22:45

Thanks all. DD is a lot calmer now we’ve talked it through. I have emailed the teacher and head of year pointing out that it’s a huge anomaly compared to all her previous reports and subjects and asked if more supporting information can be provided. I also pointed out that I was rather disappointed that if a scholarship student was so way off target that a couple of numbers and no commentary shouldn’t be the way we find out about it.

I wasn’t so blunt as to say it’s a case of mistaken identity, but did say it sounds like a totally different child.

I doubt I’ll hear back in the holidays, plus I do expect teachers to have downtime and not feel compelled to respond in their time off. We’ll see.

OP posts:
HeadAboveTheParapet · 17/10/2022 23:19

My dd has had a unexpected low grade and poor report from a teacher before, report previous term was high praise, obviously a cut and paste fail, down to the he rather than she.
Wrote an email questioning it and yes it was a mix up.

Also had times when she's been marked absent but was clearly in school. There are 3 kids with her name and surnames starting with the same 2 letters, they are all small with dark hair.
Teachers do mix kids up

rainuntilseptember · 17/10/2022 23:53

@emanonsah why do you say a lazy teacher, and then explain the drama teacher might have seen this class only 6 times? It's not lazy to not know everyone's name after 6 lessons!
I think the problem here has been compounded by the dd not speaking up when the other girl is reprimanded using her name (or the other girl not 'fessing up!) so the teacher has actually learned the names, but the wrong way around.
possibly.

Original poster
IsItAllAMistake · 18/10/2022 06:30

With regards to not speaking up, I think she feels that after being called out for talking in class if she were to then turn around and say something like, “It wasn’t me” then it could actually make things worse.

She’s in the lower years of secondary school and agree that she should have spoken up, but I’m not sure she has the social skills to challenge an adult yet. She would see that as being disrespectful, and for someone who doesn’t like putting a foot wrong, it’s just easier to let it ride I guess.

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MaggieFS · 18/10/2022 06:37

I think you've done the right thing, I'd be tempted to also ask DD to be moved given xx is disruptive and it's affecting DD by DD repeatedly being called out for misbehaviour which is xx.

Don't know if this is the right thing to do, would be interested to hear from teachers.

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 18/10/2022 07:32

MaggieFS · 18/10/2022 06:37

I think you've done the right thing, I'd be tempted to also ask DD to be moved given xx is disruptive and it's affecting DD by DD repeatedly being called out for misbehaviour which is xx.

Don't know if this is the right thing to do, would be interested to hear from teachers.

I'd agree with this in most subjects, but I'd assume in drama they don't have assigned seating, as it'll usually be taught in a studio/hall etc. However, if this is the case, then it should be very easy for her to move away from this child.

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