Do you regret a long journey to school?

[DazzlePaintedBattlePants]

We have a choice of 2 schools. School 1 is local, quite small (140 per year group) but has excellent extra curriculars, including a second round of afternoon buses that drop off after the after school sports/clubs finish. Child could leave house at 08:10 and be back 3:15 with no clubs, or 4:30 having done hockey/running/band/whathaveyou. Staff at open days seemed great, but results are average. Historically, this is a school "naice" people have tried to avoid, but demographics mean that they are not getting their first choice and have to lump this school. There is a new head, as well as a good deputy head who's come from another school in the Trust, which is excellent. The vast majority of parents I know who send their kids here are very happy with it. I have questions about the level of ambition at this school and the results.

Our other school would mean leaving the house at 0730am and not getting back until 4:30-5pm. On paper, it's a much better school with excellent progress 8 scores, but it's the kind of school where once people get in they are evangelical about it. There is a significant snob factor (in my mind) associated with this school. There's at least one family on the school bus that I would have serious reservations about my children spending 90 mins a day with. However I feel I am somehow letting my children down by not choosing this academically superior school. For those of you who've done secondary for years, is the stress of a much longer day really worth it?

Neither school have a sixth form FWIW.

Local school all the way. Not just for ease and convenience, but because it sounds like the better choice (barring peer pressure to choose the other one).

As a child (until my parents thankfully moved when I was 15) I did your School 2. It was not worth it.

It's no coincidence that my children go to your School 1.

My DC have a fairly long school day (and we have to drive) and my first instinct is to say that if that's the best school for them you just get on with it and find a way. Assuming that both of your options are doable I would choose the school first and then tackle the logistics.

Some positives are that I actually enjoy the time in the car with them at the start and end of the day - probably the best time for conversation with a teenager. They also do a number of clubs/activities at school and will often get home having done their homework so have the rest of the evening to themselves.

On the downside... they are reliant on us for lifts at the weekends to see friends who tend to be scattered all over the place and there aren't great public transport options. If your DC are getting the bus will you be the emergency option if the bus doesn't turn up or if they need to leave school early/late for any reason and can you make that work? My DC also play sport outside of school so some days they leave school at 4:30pm and go straight to training which makes it a long day (on the plus side they have to be very organised with kit and homework!).

As I child I was bussed to a non-local school. I don't blame my parents for the decision they made but in hindsight it wasn't worth the journey. I really hated not living near friends and having to rely on lifts from parents to meet up, pretty cringe for a teenager.

From the language in your description local school for certain.

My dd goes to school 2 (with a 6th form!) by accident as was not the first choice. She is really capable of the getting herself to and from each day which has surprised me. It has given her confidence and independence and is also really enjoying the teaching and all of the extras on offer. To add to the mix...it's also a girls' school! Have you looked around the schools? From my own experience of school, choose the one which most easily allows your dc to learn in a nice environment.

Local school, unless a school is utterly dire or dangerous as long as the individual child is clever enough they will be fine. DS got three A grades at A level at a well below average school, it was a five minute walk. Our local friends bussed their children to school 2. Drug issues at both schools, I know there were drug issues at the local independent school as my friend was the school nurse. The school 2 had an attempted suicide in the school toilets and much worse bullying issues.

Some parents don’t want their kids mixing with certain demo-graphs but no one is going to admit that. It’s always hidden in the results table arguments.

I went to your school 2. My parents thought it was the right thing to do (long story) but it wasn't. Not only was it a long commute each way it was in the middle of nowhere and we couldn't escape at lunchtime. Also I had no chance to make local friends. It was supposedly academically superior to the local comp my siblings went to but with hindsight I would have been much happier there and they did OK.

Exactly the same here. Bussed to a school an hour or so away. Really annoying for my parents driving me to sleepovers/attending parents evening etc. Couldn't do any after school clubs due to having to get the school bus (too far to walk to nearest public bus stop)

Sounds like you prefer school 1 but feel you shouldn't

Thanks everyone, this is helpful. I feel that school 2 parents won't tell me the whole truth, and I know of at least one child there who's miserable through bullying that the school can't/won't tackle. Suspect parents are keeping their kids there for academic reasons.

CantStandMeow exactly. I feel I should be falling over myself to get my child to School 2 but frankly I don't want to put them through getting up at 0630 every morning, or spending lots of their lives stuck in traffic or on a bus. DH had miserable experiences on school buses so he is firmly in the local school camp; my hesitation is that I went to a very different school (all girls, academically selective, excellent facilities, expectation that everyone would be doctors/lawyers BUT it was a 5 min walk for me).

HeavensEmbroideredCloths agree entirely about not wanting kids to mix with certain demographics. School 1 has a dedicated unit for children with additional needs, which I suspect brings down the results and means it has a reputation for taking SEND children - they have Down's syndrome children in school. I tend to think this is a good thing, because if there are issues with children then the school is set up to deal with them, and I would think that means less impact on the rest of the school IYSWIM?

I just wish I had the confidence in my own parenting and my children to 100% believe in local school!

Have visited school 1, school 2 visit is this week.

I used to do similar times to your school 2 choice and I remember being exhausted all the time with the travel, especially during teenage/GCSE and A level years. There were a few kids doing that journey and often they would fall asleep on the bus. I wouldn't recommend it at all. Plus, I remember my dad leaving the house after me and getting home before me and it feeling so unfair. Also, friends lived further away so social life was rubbish.

I did the leave at 7.30, home at 4 30 (later after sports practice etc) but it was due to congestion not the school being miles away (3 miles, but London!). I don't remember it being particularly tiring. I spent the bus ride with a group of friends, then got home got my homework done before my parents got home at 6-6.30, then had plenty of time for tv etc in the evening.

However DD has a 5 minute walk to school, is home by 3pm on non club days, and has time to play (which I assume will change into more of a hanging out thing as she gets older, only Yr7) and do homework etc.. it is definitely more balanced.

Academic results aren't the only marker of a good school

Results are average, not poor, and will improve if demographics are pushing more choosy parents that way. Check whether they are getting some top grades in each subject - that indicates that there is the potential there for your child to get them.
Not having the travel gives much more time for doing other things, whether that's clubs at school or outside.

You haven't said anything about School 1 that makes it sound terrible. Or anything about School 2 that makes it sound worth the journey time.

My DD probably has one of the longest school commutes I know of (90 minutes each way), so I am not anti long journey by any means.

But, there have to be a whole load of really solid reasons for it to be worth it.

For us, we had the choice between 90 mins each way for an outstanding school with great results that is hugely specialised in DD's particular interests, and meant she was in London where she already had extra curricular activities after school several days a week. Or, the alternatives were: School B - 45 min each way journey (including a long walk) for a Needs Improvement school with no real provision for her interests, or School C: a 60 min bus journey that would get her to school 40 minutes early for a school that was fine but didn't begin to compare with the London one.

Plus we'd have had to trek into London for the extra curricular classes meaning an even longer day.

Things to bear in mind:

Transport - are there options or just the one bus that if missed mean a nightmare getting to school/home? What happens if they want to stay late for school play, extra sport etc? DD has a lot of train options. If one is cancelled she can just get the next. If she'd gone to school C and the bus didn't turn up then she would have absolutely no way of getting to school/home.

What kind of commute - it's very different having 50 minutes sat on a train with wifi and power sockets and being able to watch a film/read a book/do your homework, or having a 10 minute walk, 20 minutes on a bus, then another 10 minute walk etc. DD manages to do 90% of her homework on her commute, so while she gets home around 5.30pm, she has the whole evening free.

Friends - if your child is the only one living a distance away, are you prepared to facilitate meeting up with friends and getting to parties etc? Will they miss out on general after school hanging out? I'd be happier with a big school with very wide catchment than a small one where everyone lived close by.

From your description of the two schools, it does seem like the closer one is possibly better?

Mine are at school ten min walk / 5 min cycle away. I wouldn't change it for anything. So much freedom to access clubs after school / go in early for stuff. No trauma around buses etc.
DC all just hang out and walk round to mates houses etc
Can't put a price on that.
Educationally it's a decent school where bright kids with invested parents do well.

So I know that in 2021, school 1 had 2 kids get straight 9s at GCSEs, and 11 children get all 7s or above. This would have been in a cohort of under 100; the school has grown a bit since. That strikes me as actually very good...They are confident they have a positive progress score for 2022 as well. It feels very much a school of 2 halves.

School 2 would be dedicated school bus - one in the morning, one in the afternoon. No alternatives other than me going to fetch them.

School 1 is winning right now - your comments have all been very helpful!

We went with local school and didn't regret it. It really depends on the kids though. My kids school was 5 mins away. It was so convenient. It's really good when they can walk themselves.

We wrestled this last year - DD wanted the one furthest away, I wanted the nearer one. Although to be fair nearer is by most standards the better school, she loved the grounds of the other. I made the decision. She grouched throughout the summer but has slotted in perfectly. She's already met up with friends on inset day, has friends who live near by etc which is what I really wanted for her.

So, for school 2, can you easily go and get them if they miss the bus? Can you take them in the morning if the bus doesn't show or they miss it? What happens if they have a sports match or want to join in with a school production etc?

In my opinion at 11, long commutes to school are to be avoided where possible- it's tiring for the child and also can be difficult socially. School 1 really doesn't sound bad at all, and it sounds like it's on an upwards journey.

My eldest in Y8 has a long commute - 50 mins each way on public transport. She enjoys it - she's more independent and travels with friends. It's part of the school experience. She leaves at 7.15 and is home on an average day at 4.15 although they finish early on Fridays (at 2.30). But it is for a very good school, academically selective, with great music and drama.

She has missed out a little on the local friends thing but can get to see her school friends by herself on public transport and still keeps in touch with a couple of primary friends that are local. But probably easier in a city than relying on school buses.

I think it depends on the type of child too. Mine love impromptu meet ups after school. They go to school clubs most days and these may change daily. They can cycle in easily. I work so it's a massive advantage that they just walk there.

Afraid (having been in the same position myself) that I doubt she "enjoys" the 50 minute commute. Puts up with it maybe? Makes the best of it? Doesn't actively hate it? Accepts it is a necessary evil? If she had the chance to not to do the commute and instead had the option just to spend 50 minutes (or even 30 minutes) doing whatever she wanted (which might be hanging out with friends at a place of their choice) she really wouldn't prefer it?

I have two kids at the same school as Stokey (👋to Stokey). It’s a 45 min journey if they don’t have to wait for a train , longer if they do. They genuinely do enjoy the Journey! My year 7 called me in tears from the platform on Tuesday as she’d missed the ‘early train’ that they tend to aim for, and “my friends will be having so much fun without me”😢

I think that’s the thing though. There are a bunch of them going the same way (they both have a few classmates on the same train) and t’s a relatively simple journey against the commute, so they always get a seat. Most importantly, they both really wanted to go to this school, and are much happier than they would be in any of our local schools.

Only really issue is if there’s a strike or other problem with the trains as the bus journey is a bit epic, but it’s taught my older one to be resourceful and more independent.

We chose school 1. Small school, , 5 mins down the road and felt really friendly. But it was rated as 'needing improvement' by Ofsted so some parents in the area looked down on it. A new head had set the groundwork a couple of years before DD went there and by the time DD was in year 8 it got a 'good' rating.

At the same time the two sought after schools (30 min bus ride away) were reinspected and were downgraded as 'needing improvement'. School 1 is now oversubscribed. I'm so glad that we went with our gut instinct to choose the school we felt comfortable with rather than the supposedly better achieving ones.